FootballAbout a year ago I stumbled upon an amazing fact. Well, it amazed me at the time, anyway. No, really, I actually was quite astonished. I remember, very clearly, thinking at the time "Gosh, how astonishing", that's how astonished I was. I also remember thinking "hmmm, must use that in Off the Ball". And now, a year later, and when I'm down with the flu and unable to think of anything better to write about, I've finally got round to mentioning it.

So what exactly was this startling piece of information that left me so shocked? I'll tell you. It was the realisation that Norman Whiteside was still only in his 30s.

Now, looking back a year later, I have to admit this no longer seems quite as stunning a piece of information as it did at the time. Either I've matured a lot in the intervening 12 months, or I've simply got used to the idea and it's lost its shock value. Or maybe I was just so drunk at the time that you could have said "the sky is blue" and I'd have looked at you as if you were revealing to me the innermost secrets of the universe for the first time.

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Anyway, at this moment of revelation I decided that I could write an OTB article on The Most Amazing Football Facts Ever, led by the fact that Norman Whiteside, who as far as I know first played in 1911, was still in his 30s. Sadly, however, it's taken me so long to write the article that the former prodigy has actually now finally made it into his 40s, so here instead are my remaining Most Amazing Facts. Ever.


1 The most successful side from Cambridge in FA Cup history isn't Cambridge United. And it's not City either. Nope, it's Cambridge University.

It's true. United, as you all know, twice reached the quarter finals of the Cup in the early 1990s. The University, however, actually made it all the way to the semi-finals, way back in 1876-77. Of course, the other place, aka Oxford University, had to go one better and reach the final, but only because they had a bye as there weren't enough teams left to make two semi-finals.

In fact, by the time that season's cup had reached its second round, there was only team left we'd actually recognise nowadays, namely Queen's Park, and they were Scottish!

2 Staying with the Cup, did you know that Charlton Athletic once reached the final despite losing in the third round?

It's been said in recent years the traditions of the Cup have been messed around with, but it's always gone on. In the first post-WW2 tournament, in 1945-46, the FA decided that, apart from the semi-finals and final, the tournament would be played over two legs rather than the traditional one. Accordingly, Charlton managed to lose a third-round match 2-1 at Fulham but won the second leg 3-1 for an aggregate victory. After that setback they went all the way to the final, where they got stuffed by Derby, though only after the remarkable occurrence of the ball bursting!

By way of coincidence, Charlton made their only other Cup Final appearance the very next season, when guess what - the ball burst again. I'll leave you to work out the moral of this story yourselves.

Floodlights at the Abbey3 The first recorded floodlit match took place in 1887 in Sheffield. Using candles. Candles??! How many must they have used? And which poor sap had to try and light them all? And let's face it, the wind blows in Sheffield. It blows hard, and it blows a lot. So which bright spark (pardon the pun) decided Sheffield would be a good place to play a match by candlelight?

4 Soccer is an English, not an American, word. Yep, true, sorry. Most people today think it's an American invention, but in fact the word arose in English public schools as a way of differentiating rugby football (rugger) from association football (soccer). The blame has been traced back to an Oxford student called Charles Wreford Brown, who went on, ironically, to become an England international and FA bigwig.

5 When the FA Cup began in 1871-2, none of the following had been invented: shinguards (1874), the crossbar (1875), the ref's whistle (1878), goalnets (1890), penalties (1891), substitutes (1965) and numbers on shirts (1933).

However, in fairness things used to be much worse. Organised football can be traced back to some 200 years before the actual invention of the ball. Before that, teams just used to wander around aimlessly and looking clueless, a tradition maintained to this day in Newcastle.

6 Q. What do the following have in common? Matches under floodlights, women's football, transfer fees in excess of £350, the watering of pitches?

A. They've all been banned at one time or another by the forward-thinking Football Association.

Ironically, women's football was perfectly legal under the ultra-prudish Victorians, but was banned in the early 20th Century, only to be lifted as recently as 1969!

Which was a whole year after

7 Bobby Robson was first sacked as a manager! Yep, the new Ireland Director of Football was first given his marching orders as a manager by Fulham back in 1968, two years before the current Fulham boss, Chris Coleman, was even born, let alone his players!

8 Diego Forlan was the top scorer in La Primera last season. Yes, that Diego Forlan. The same one who, in his days at Old Trafford, wouldn't have recognised a goal if it landed from the sky in front of him wearing a bright pink jersey with 'I'm a Goal' written on it and was floodlit with a million of the finest Sheffield candles. Mind, he probably wouldn't have seen it as he'd still have had had his shirt over his eyes, working out how to get it on. Yes, somehow the hapless Diego, one of Alex Ferguson's better buys, managed to be top scorer for Villareal last campaign, with 25 goals in 38 games. Fergie must have been so pleased for him!

9 There are some English clubs for which Steve Claridge has not yet played. Actually, I'm not at all sure about this one as it sounds a bit far fetched to me, but, apparently, it's thought by some to be true. Personally I'll believe it only if it's proved to me by the man himself.

Steve Claridge gives the fans a 'moose'

10 But we end with the unlikeliest fact of all. In fact this one's so silly that, frankly, I don't believe a word of it myself but, like those other great myths 'The Loch Ness Monster', 'The Roswell UFO' and 'Barry Fry is an able coach and a funny person', this one has its hard-core of believers. Apparently, and this is where it gets silly, they think that another club, other than Celtic or Rangers, once won the Scottish League. I know, it's silly, but there you are, it takes all sorts.

Line of the Week
This week's entry is from Bobby Gould, speaking on Radio 5 and dismissing one of England's Euro '08 opponents whilst seeing his chances of becoming a geography teacher go down the Swannee:

"Andorra - pah, it's a little island in the mid-Atlantic".

Well, that'll come as a shock to all those Andorran estate agents selling stunning views of the Pyrenees. Honestly, any old fool knows the island in the mid-Atlantic is Angola.

Incidentally, why is that PE teachers always double up as geography teachers? What is it about physical fitness, cross-country running and sadism towards children that makes these activities blend so harmoniously with knowledge of how ox-bow lakes form, or what the main agricultural products of Brazil are? Answers to me by 5pm Monday otherwise you can see me afterwards for detention.

Any amazing or obscure facts you'd like to share with us? Nominations for where you'd like to see Andorra be? Let us have them at cufcofftheball@aol.com

Neil Cole

If you missed Neil's previous 'Off The Ball' columns, you can find them here


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