Match: v Gravesend & Northfleet - Nationwide Football Conference

Date: Saturday, October 7th 2006

Result: Gravesend 2 Cambridge United 0

THE JOURNEY

Departure Time: 11.30am

Arrival at Ground: Although the M11 was okay as, surprisingly, was M25 north of the river, there were long delays after the Dartford Crossing due to road works and the Bluewater effect. Nevertheless, we safely negotiated our way into a small car park at the ground by 1pm.

The car park, which was at the away end of the ground, was pockmarked by a series of small lakes across which a paddle steamer provided a regular ferry service. Whilst on board, you could spend your time playing poker or leisurely sipping mint juleps while listening to Dixieland Jazz as you watched the sun set on the opposite bank... what do you mean I imagined that bit?

What I didn't imagine was the fleet of double-decker buses that used a large part of the car park as a graveyard and is perhaps where the club's name originates. I also didn't imagine the preposterous number of electricity pylons that loomed large over the ground as they marched off into the distance.

AT THE GROUND

The Ground: Perhaps not the most scenic of environs, and the ground itself is largely in keeping with its surroundings. The general run down air was understandable as, thanks to the assistance of a helpful local council, the club expect to move to one of the many brown field sites in the area within three years.

Running along one side of the pitch, from about level with the edge on one penalty area to a similar position at the other end, the Main Stand consisted of plastic seats bolted onto wooden benches. With almost as many pillars at the front as seats within, the highly flammable nature of its construction ensured that it would be a resolutely non-smoking area - so it wasn't all bad then!

Opposite, while terracing ran the full length of the pitch, only a central section of similar length to the main stand was covered by a roof. I couldn't quite decide if the roof had been painted red or was just very rusty - although I know which option was more likely. A hole had been cut in the top to allow the construction of either a bird-watching hide, a lookout post for guards or a camera position. Whoever used it would have to be more confident than I was about the strength of the roof though.

A large, uncovered terrace for away fans was to the right of the main stand, while the only change from our visit last season could be seen at the end behind the other goal where plastic seats had been bolted onto the old terrace. These seats were, we were informed, easily removable so they could be relocated when the club does.

To be honest, it wasn't the most thrilling match of the season, but the club thoughtfully provided entertainment during the quieter moments by having trains run regularly along an embankment visible through a gap between this newly seated end and the part-covered side terrace.

United Fans: Quiet and subdued for long periods of the match, there was a significant exodus after Gravesend's second goal. While all were obviously disappointed with the performance and result, a number showed that dissatisfaction with abuse and boos aimed towards the players when they came over to applaud the travelling supporters at the end.

View from Away End: There was plenty of room to move around to find a decent viewing position.

Home Fans: A handful of them sung, and they were accompanied by a bass drum.

Police/Stewards: The stewards, who also work at Grays and Southend, were friendly and happy to let those United fans that needed to sit make use of the main stand. There was also a surprising police presence, although they appeared to have little to do other than keep the tea urn fully employed.

Programme: 48 pages for £2.50. The photograph on the front cover was focussed more sharply on the fans in the background than the players in the foreground, but this was one of the few disappointments in a well-designed programme. Although there were a lot of adverts, there was also plenty to read - although it might have been helpful to be able to read the warning about the spate of thefts from vehicles in the area before getting into the ground.

Food/Drink: Plenty of burgers, bacon rolls and hot dogs were available and while these were tasty, the chips veered between anaemic and awful. Thankfully, you only had to endure a small portion for £1.50.

State of Toilets: Although the facilities at the away end were very limited, queues somehow failed to develop. These facilities were better than some of those in the home section; one block of which was akin to a World War II pill box - not that anyone in their right mind would want to spend any time in there to find out as, even before the match, the stench from the open gutters was overwhelming.

AFTERWARDS

The Journey Home: After the delays on the way, we were determined to use the more complicated and, as it proved, much quicker route back to the Dartford Tunnel that we had found last season. This we were able to achieve thanks to our infallible (on this occasion) 'Dave Dave' SatNav system.

This alternative route proved highly entertaining thanks to the antics of a boy racer in an amusingly modified Fiat Punto. Although I'm sure he thought he looked good, I'm not sure his image was helped when he had stop and scramble across the road in pursuit of one his alloys after it fell off.

Mileage: 119.9 miles

Total Distance for Season: 1,473.8 miles

Mark Johnson, with additional reporting by David Gray, Paul Johnson, Ryan Johnson and Gordon McMillan

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