Match: v Burton Albion - Nationwide Football Conference
Date: Tuesday, September 19th, 2006
Result: Burton 2 Cambridge United 1
The Journey
Departure Time: 3.30pm
Arrival at Ground: Other than a slight hold up on the A14, it was a straightforward journey. The roads behaved themselves to the extent that the congestion forewarned on the M1 overhead signs started yards after we left the motorway.
There was a large car park at the ground, and it was virtually empty when we arrived at about 5.40pm. This was, perhaps, just as well given the speed some of the players were driving around it - both forwards and, unaccountably, in reverse - as they arrived for the match.
At The Ground
The Ground: Behind the impressive glass-fronted reception, the main stand ran virtually the length of one side of the pitch. This was filled with about a dozen rows of seats; the rear two of which were padded as they were for use by the occupants of the executive boxes that stretched along the back of this stand.
Looking out from this stand, you could see the tops of the roofs and pipes from the factory after which the ground was named peeping out over the top of the stand opposite. The highest of these roofs were wooden and in a style last seen on Thunder Mountain in Disney's Magic Kingdom. But any Floridian illusion vanished in the second half as the smell of hot rubber drifted across from the factory.
Stands on the other three sides were functional, breezeblock terrace, all covered and each in splendid isolation. Assorted constructions had been placed in the various corners between the stands. These ranged from a portakabinesque control box, which appeared to be balanced precariously on a brick pillar, to a conical-shaped metallic silo that was either stockpiling grain ahead of the next famine in Burton or was a compost heap.
Of course, as it had only been a matter of a few months since our last visit to the Pirelli Stadium not much had changed in the interim... but there was one major difference. The grassless mudflats that had served as a pitch on our last visit had been replaced by a magnificent green sward.
Although functional in places, the stadium was just the job for a club at this level, or even slightly higher. In fact I had only one quibble with the Pirelli Stadium. The tannoy system had been set to a sensible level before the game, and had even been turned down a notch or two after a word from Nigel Clough. But once the turnstiles had been opened, all restraint was abandoned as the volume was cranked up to the stage where people were making hurried appointments with their dentists to check that their fillings hadn't been loosened.
While that was just about bearable - once you'd stopped your ears bleeding - the thunderous clunk that followed each booming announcement, as the microphone was put down, was a little more difficult to get used to. Because the time between each announcement as the sonic boom varied, you never quite knew when it was coming, so half the main stand jumped out of their seats every time the announcer put his microphone down.
United Fans: They were 'entertained' before the match by Burton's mascots; Billy and Betty Brewer... think Wayne and Waynetta Slob turned into giant puppets. With that picture in your head, now imagine then female mascot doing an unsavoury pole dance using the post that held the back of the net up... probably not something to think about close to a meal time. The United faithful must have been relieved when the game started!
Home Fans: Almost outnumbered by banners, it took some time for them to convert random drumming into any kind of rhythm. They were sporadically noisy - mainly, it has to be said, when they were in front.
Stewards: Friendly and efficient, they reacted quickly when a clearance into the stand hit a young girl on the head, knocking her over. A steward was on the scene almost instantly, firstly checking to make sure she was all right before returning moments later with a comforting bottle of 'Fanta'.
Programme: £2.50 for 48 pages, many of which made use of black and white photos to keep the production cost down. The section on United was short and included the surprising pen picture of Weymouth's Simon Weatherstone, while the advertising content was high.
Food/Drink: For £1.50 you could get a huge portion of well-cooked chips. Burgers may not have been available in the main stand area, but it was hard to tell, as we were unable to understand the assistant's mumbled response.
The Numbers
Mileage: 233.3 miles
Total Distance for Season: 1,132.9 miles
Mark Johnson, with additional reporting by David Gray and Gordon McMillan
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