Match: Tamworth
Date: Tuesday 24 August, 7.45pm
Full Address: The Lamb Ground, Kettlebrook, Tamwroth, Staffordshire, B77 1AA
Directions by Car: Leave the M42 at Junction 10 and take the A5 towards Tamworth. Follow the A5 bypass into the town and take the turn for the town centre. Follow the signs towards the Snow Dome and Glascote/Amington. After passing the Snow Dome on your left, you should see the ground on your right.
Parking: There is a good-sized car park at the ground, at £2 per car.
Train: There are no return trains (to Cambridge) to be had, so beware. But if you are using the railways, the station is a 10-15-minute walk away from the Lamb Ground. Exit the station and walk down the station approach to the traffic island in front of it. Turn left along the dual carriageway and continue to follow it, bearing around to the left at the next roundabout, which takes you past a garage. The floodlights should make themselves known in the distance ahead.
Coach: The Away Travel Club will be running a coach to the game, priced at £18.50 for non-members, £16 for members and £9 for under 16s. It is due to leave Ely at 3.45pm and the R Costings Abbey Stadium at 4.30pm. Contact the club on 01223 566500 to reserve your spot.
Admission: We are considered Category A opposition, so terrace entry is priced at £14 for adults, £9 for concessions (age 65 and above, under 18s). Transfer to seating is available.
Location of fans: U's fans will be housed in the Meadow Street End behind a goal. It's a small, old-fashioned shed of a stand, quite shallow too. The back half of the terracing is covered but if you find yourself a touch nearer the pitch, you will be out in the elements. But wherever you stand, you won't be afforded a particularly good view, particularly of action at the opposite end of the pitch
Programme: £2.50
Pre-Match Refreshment: There is a bar at the club, but this may not admit away supporters, so your best bet is to head into town - a five-10-minute walk away. Walking from the ground to town, the Wetherspoon's next to the roundabout is probably the first watering hole you'll encounter. There's another couple just around the corner, and you'll find a few more further into town, including the Sir Robert Peel on Lower Gungate (that's a street), which comes recommended by CAMRA. There's also a bar in the Snow Dome, just around the corner from the ground, you can't miss it.
Local attractions: There's a shop in the town centre called Kit & Kaboodle. I make sure I pop in on every visit to Tamworth, to hum and haw over buying a Ray Mears-style hat. Of course, I never do. You can also find high-visibility jackets, gloves and thermal socks. It's worth remembering that although it's not too cold at the moment, it might be in winter.
Chat up lines in…Tamworth: You'll have heard about the Tamworth Two, the pair of pigs - a brother and sister - which escaped as they were being unloaded at an abattoir in Wiltshire in 1998. They were on the run for a week and were spared slaughter. Somewhere in Lancashire Morrissey smiled.The animals weren't actually from Tamworth, that's just the name of the breed, which originated in the area. So, to the chat up line, you might want to get a pen and paper ready. Picture the scene; you're dancing to the latest chart smash (we're in 2010 again now, by the way) and a pair of local lovelies approach. You introduce yourself; tell them you've just been watching the football. They don't really like football, so now you strike. You say: "Hey, I saw on the news 12 years ago that two Tamworth pigs escaped, well I certainly haven't found them here…"
The in-line is a tad risky, but you'll reap the rewards, mark my words. If you need a comment to push through your point, just say: "Listen, you're both well fit." But that's just back-up, they're certain to be impressed by your knowledge of late-90s current affairs. Try it, and thank me later.
