Tuesday 27th February 2007 - U's 1-1 Forest Green: We Are Top Of The (Pools) League

Short people like our Courtney
Short people like our Courtney
Short people got no reason
To fear

He's got little hands
Picks up little dosh
But he's got more skill
Than anyone at Posh
He buys his boots at
Mothercare
Defenders try to
Kick him in the air

Well, we love our Courtney Pitt
We want our Courtney Pitt
We need our Courtney Pitt
Round here

Short people are just the same
As you and I
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(Unless they come from the Fens)

Courtney he's tried Chelsea
Courtney he's tried Pompey
Courtney he's tried Oxford
No joy

He's got little baby legs
That fool more people than Blaine
Trying to tackle him
Must be a pain
Like to leave defenders
In a great big heap
Knows so many tricks
He could make you weep
Scores with the left foot

Scores with the right
Though I'd have to say
His crossing's not quite so tight

But we love our Courtney Pitt
We want our Courtney Pitt
We need our Courtney Pitt
Round here!

Like United's season so far, the murky, grizzly, drizzly weather on Tuesday night teetered on the edge; either it could get worse and descend into a grim, full-scale storm, or just remain grey and forgettable. And with the once-Mighty U's wobbling just above the relegation line, there isn't an amber acolyte in the country who wouldn't settle for grey, forgettable safety this term as the alternative is just too horrible to even think about.

Tonight's game against Forest Green was originally scheduled for January 6th, and the original programme (dated January 9th - oops) was on sale with an updating wraparound. The upheaval in both strugglers' squads was apparent from the vastly different names detailed in old and new listings, with such as Bloomer, Hanlon, Richardson, Marum and Gier long departed, and one, Danny Carey-Bertram, moved from one squad to the other. DCB was restored to the FGR team after missing out at the weekend but was still looking for his first Conference goal for the Rovers.

After some dubious defensive displays, JQ abandoned the wing-back system despite a total lack of specialist full-backs and instead strung four centre-halves across the pitch in a 4-4-2, Sam Page starting instead of midfielder Josh Simpson, who was surprisingly dropped to the bench behind David Bridges, while powerhouse Christian Smith's return from suspension was also limited to a substitute's role. Only other change was up front, where Dan Chillingworth was dropped in favour of Charles Ademeno for his first start after some impressive 'impact' appearances of late, although the reason the manager gave for the change (that if he didn't start, Southend would call him up for their reserves on Wednesday) was rather less than satisfactory.

At least wingers Jon Brady and Courtney Pitt could now concentrate on foraging forward, although they would necessarily enjoy little support from behind them with two towering square centre-back pegs trying to fit into round full-back holes.

Kick-off was preceded by a minute's silence for two deceased United greats of the past, Fifties player Neville Haylock and former commercial manager Dudley Arliss, of whom it would be no exaggeration to say he was one of the most important non-playing staff in this club's long and proud history. A true unsung hero.

United started in lively fashion, Pitt immediately enjoying his new-found offensive freedom, and his early cross caused his side's first corner, Brady finding Robbie Simpson's head to nod wide. DCB looked determined to make an impression at the other end and an open and attacking start from both sides almost culminated in a goal on 8 when Ademeno's run and pass found Simpson, who created space for himself then lashed a tremendous shot from fifteen yards that keeper Ryan Robinson did well to palm away for another corner.

The hosts enjoyed the better of the early exchanges despite playing into a wind more violent than an Emmanuel Adebayor temper tantrum, but they were horribly undone on 16. Rovers' Darren Jones hoisted a long ball over the top, Aidan Collins was dreadfully exposed for pace and DCB was away clear. Shane Herbert made the right decision in sprinting from his goal to intercept, but misjudged the flight of the ball as it bounced and when he attempted to head clear, it only glanced off his forehead and soared over his head goalwards. DCB gave chase and just when the angle appeared to have beaten him, caught up with the ball to slide home from the narrowest of angles into the wide-open goal. 1-0.

It's an old cliché about former players coming back to haunt you, but unfortunately it is also true. To his credit, DCB did not 'give it large' in front of the amber hordes but just celebrated with his new colleagues.

Many words have been said about the quietness of this United team and the fragility of its confidence, but sadly these are also true and one could almost see the belief drain from the men in amber like so much ectoplasm. After five games unbeaten this might seem baffling. It just goes to prove that football is as much a game played in the head as it is on the field.

Strikers Simpson and Ademeno looked lively and dangerous, but when they looked to their midfield for inspiration, they found none. Danny Brown looked off-form and off the pace again, Bridges and Brady were so peripheral as to be almost non-existent, and the erratic Pitt alone looked capable of producing the flash of brilliance that his side needed.

Simpson is shaping up to be a mighty fine centre-forward, but he needs to stay on his feet more and his claim for a penalty on 23 was unsurprisingly disregarded. The opposition, meanwhile, were wasting no time in getting down to the serious business of, er, time-wasting, and when right-back John Hardiker fiddled and faffed about at a throw-in deep in his own half a minute later, ref Bull commendably stepped in with an early yellow card to discourage him and his colleagues from further faffage.

Pitt plugged away on the left and gained a corner on 28 which Brady arrowed onto the head of Collins, but his downward header was safely gathered by Robinson near his goal-line. Rovers were speedy on the break against a home back line lacking in pace and Simon Clist fired just wide a minute later.

Two Rovers corners ensued as they made the most of the blustery conditions and DCB was penalised for offside as he swivelled to volley home into the top far corner just after the half hour. Then the visitors were forced into a change as his strike partner Adriano Rigoglioso, the well-known Italian dish, retired through injury in favour of Les Afful, the rather less palatable British serving.

A further series of three FGR flag-kicks ensued on 35, Clist using the breeze to swing some wicked curlers just under Herbert's bar, but United survived and DCB was penalised for offside as he screwed a shot wide of the far post. Clist shot over, Brown responded with a low drive into Robinson's arms at the other end, but at this stage the contest looked like going the same way of so many other dismal one-goal home defeats for the U's this season, once more against the most modest of opposition, although not as modest as their away following, a remarkable 21: surely the lowest away attendance ever at the Abbey? People of Nailsworth, we salute you.

Carey-Bertram found the net yet again on 41, this time well after the whistle had sounded for offside, and the amber hordes expressed their displeasure at both his timewasting and the fact that his shooting had never been this accurate when in United's colours. Although his head-butting had been spot on.

As the interval approached, Herbert saved without difficulty from a Kevin Nicholson long-ranger, while at the other end Bridges had a shot blocked by Jamie Pitman for a corner. Nicholson finished the half with a free-kick high and wide and United retired to a dressing-room where JQ must have been wishing he had brought back his mate the sports psychologist to rouse his charges from the shell into which most of them had slipped. They had to do better in part two; they just had to.

At least they had the wind behind them this time, as Herbert demonstrated early on with a goal-kick which found Simpson's head without bouncing on the edge of the Rovers area, although his goalward nod was more a help-on than a scoring attempt.

Simpson sent a sighter wide on 48, but the spark was still missing from the United side and the visitors were content to soak up what little pressure they could muster and rely on the odd breakaway. They even managed a couple of corners on 56 before Pitt sprinted from halfway on a characteristic slalom run, cutting inside to blast a rising shot over with his right foot. More, please.

A change was clearly needed if even a point was to be salvaged, but United's first substitution was surprising, bringing on Christian Smith and withdrawing Collins, but instead of switching to 3-5-2, Brown moved to left-back to keep the same shape as before. JQ could have withdrawn any of the four centre-backs, but Collins' spurning of a place on the bench in favour of a petulant-looking march straight to the tunnel was disappointing given that this club has given him a chance to resurrect a career that looked ruined by injury. Perhaps the goal was playing on his mind. Get a grip, son.

Ademeno had made none of the impact that he has made in his last few substitute appearances, but he produced a superb, darting run through the middle on 62; his pass to Simpson drove his strike partner wide, but Robbie got to the byeline and produced an excellent low cross to find his colleague with the goal at his mercy, but from less than ten yards the Southend youngster blazed horribly over the bar. Great chance wasted, but at least a spark has been provided.

Simpson was unluckily booked a minute for a clash with Nicholson, then Ademeno made an even better run, beating three men as he charged into the box but then inexplicably spurning his chance to shoot and eventually being crowded out, to the amber hordes' frustration.

But his spark became a flame on 65 as United's building pressure finally paid off. Brady arced a cross over from the right, it fell into space on the edge of the box, and there was Pitt to blast a fantastic half-volley into the bottom corner with his right foot that screamed 'Goal' as soon as it left his little boot. 1-1!

Suddenly there was hope. Rovers responded with an Afful shot on 67 followed closely by a substitution, Mark Preece on for Chris Giles, and on 70 Ademeno was replaced by Chilli to an appreciative ovation. As so often happens, United's pressure eased once they had scored and the visitors began to get into the game again, Nicholson testing Herbert's gloves on 72, while Smith tried one of his long-range blasters a minute later but had it blocked by a courageous Preece.

A minute later Rovers' third sub saw Lee Dodgson come on for Pitman in a defensive change no doubt made to counter the threat of terrifying goal machine Chilli, but the game became increasingly scrappy, and it had hardly been a thrilling feast of total football to start with. And the weather was not entirely to blame.

Herbert caught a Clist free-kick on 77, while Pitt was flattened on 80 but the ref allowed play to continue until United wasted it, whereupon he frustrated everyone in amber by refusing to pull play back for a free-kick when he had done just that for Rovers a few minutes earlier.

Pitt revived to blast a hopeful effort wide of the far post on 82, then the little winger took two corners from the right, the first feebly underhit to well short of the near post, the second much better, dipping to the far post for Duncan to head just wide, reminiscent of a Brady goal earlier this season.

Another teasing Pitt run on 85 culminated only in a corner, then play was halted when Bridges was flattened by his own team-mate, Brown, who threw himself into a header in the centre circle. United finished with their tails up, but in the four added minutes they made a complete hash of two free-kicks which might have yielded so much more.

The second was easily the most frustrating, not to mention irritating, as the three wise monkeys Brady, Bridges and Pitt all stood over the ball, gesturing repeatedly to the ref to get the wall back and stop them encroaching, then when they finally took it, the usual dismal tippy-tap to-me-to-you after-you-Claude nonsense was easily charged down before any sort of shot or cross could ensue. And that incident summed up this United side only too well: no leadership, no communication, no decisiveness, nobody willing to take proper responsibility. I don't know what it does to their manager, but it drives your average supporters absolutely mad. Wibble.

There was still time for more 'excitement' as Josh Simpson pointlessly replaced the ineffectual Bridges three minutes into added time, about an hour too late, and Smith crunched into one of his speciality tackles in the middle which won the ball fair and square but was nonetheless punished with a yellow card that many feared might even have been a red. Needless to say his 'victim,' Dodgson, managed to maintain an unconvincing limp for about five seconds after 'treatment' before running around as normal.

Then it was all over: six games unbeaten, but only two of them wins. Glass half full or half empty, the last two home stalemates mean that some away victories will now be required if United are to stay out of the mire. And for those to happen, we need every player to play to the best of his form and with confidence and self-belief. Which would make a nice change, eh Jimmy?

Player Ratings
Herbert 6. Ghastly error for the FGR goal and confidence appeared to suffer as a result.
Morrison 6. Mostly adequate in what is by no means his best position.
A.Collins 6. Lack of pace exposed for the visitors' goal
Duncan 7. Doughty as usual.
Page 6. Did a decent job in an unfamiliar position before switching to the middle.
Brady 6. Freed from his restricting wing-back role, it was ironic that Jono had one of his quietest games of the season.
Bridges 6. Still too much floating around on the periphery.
Brown 6. Struggled manfully for form and made up for it by getting stuck in, as Bridges found out when he got in the way of one of his headers.
Pitt 7. Nowhere near his best form but some encouraging flashes and a stonking goal.
Ademeno 6. Missed a couple of excellent chances and at his tender age perhaps a longer spell as 'impact' sub would be more appropriate.
R.Simpson 8. Led the line outstandingly again.

C.Smith 7. Good impact on United's moribund midfield and thankfully avoided another red card... just.
Chillingworth 5. Willing runner but not much of a goal threat.
J.Simpson 5. Pointless sub deep into injury time. Should have started.

Match Summary
United continued their current run as the pools players' darlings with another stuttering score draw after handing Forest Green the lead with a hideous comedy goal scored, inevitably, by an Abbey old boy. They showed good character to fight back but the need for a three-pointer or two becomes progressively more urgent.

Man of the Match
Robbie Simpson. The United target man's strength, mobility, alertness and sheer get-up-and-go oomph marked him out as comfortably the best player on the park. If only his team had got the ball to him more often.

Ref Watch
Bull 6. Good early clampdown on FGR time-wasting was spoilt somewhat by his regular propensity for awarding the visitors the softest of free-kicks and his inconsistency in playing the advantage rule. A lot of improving to do before he's ready for the big time.

Soundtrackof the Day
Los Campesinos! 'We Throw Parties, You Throw Knives'

Andrew Bennett

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Previous match reports:
U's 2-2 Southport
Morecambe 2-2 U's
U's 2-0 Grays
Oxford 1-1 U's
U's 3-0 Woking
Rushden & Diamonds 3-1 U's
Stevenage 4-1 U's
U's 0-1 Stafford
U's 1-2 Burton
U's 0-1 Rushden & Diamonds
Histon 5-0 U's
Woking 0-1 U's
U's 0-2 St Albans
U's 1-3 Morecambe
U's 3-0 Gravesend
Grays 1-1 U's
Northwich 2-0 U's (FA Cup Qual)
U's 0-3 Oxford
U's 1-2 Crawley
U's 2-2 Altrincham
Burton 2-1 U's
U's 1-0 Stevenage
U's 1-1 Kidderminster
Forest Green 1-1 U's
U's 1-3 Exeter
Dagenham 2-0 U's
U's 1-2 Halifax
St Albans 1-1 U's
U's 0-1 Northwich Victoria

Pre-season match reports:
Histon 0-0 U's (3-4 on pens)
U's 1-3 Norwich
Fakenham 0-7 U's
Enfield FC 0-2 U's
Cambridge City 0-2 U's
U's 4-4 Ipswich
U's 0-4 West Ham
Bury Town 1-2 U's
Leyton 0-3 U's

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