Andrew Bennett reports:
Twenty is a magic number. At least it is if you a nuclear physicist, for whom 20 is the third 'magic number' after 2 and 8, as atomic nuclei consisting of such numbers (ie the right number of nucleons such that they are arranged into complete shells within the atomic nucleus) are the most stable against nuclear decay. But hey, you must have known that already. It's not rocket science.
Twenty is also something of magic number for strikers; when they reach that milestone of goals scored in a season, they know they have arrived as their team's established goal-getter. Today Frank Lampard (not even a striker as such) reached that mark for the fifth season in a row with four in Chelsea's 7-1 massacre of Aston Villa, but more importantly, our very own Danny Crow achieved that number for the first time with a sensational hat-trick against Conference whipping boys Grays. Danny is the Daddy now.
Less common is the number 67. That is the astonishing number of different players that Grays have fielded in their league campaign this season in their desperate, fruitless fight to stave off relegation, after long-time chairman and source of funds Micky Woodward finally stepped down, unable to take the cash-strapped, under-supported club any further.
There have been many names familiar to U's supporters amongst the fateful 67: Stephen Reed, Fola Onibuje, Jack Jeffery and Sam Cutler have all come and gone, Gavin Hoyte, Jamie Guy and Danny Bunce are still there, and that number does not even include Lee McEvilly and Freddie Murray, who have both signed for Grays this season but departed without playing a game for them, to Marine and Luton (on loan) respectively. Even their current chairman, John Moncur, enjoyed a fleeting spell at the Abbey as a youngster in the late 1980s.
Guy was surprisingly named captain of an inexperienced looking Grays side for which Bunce started at left-back and Cambridge-born Alex Rhodes patrolled the left wing in shocking yellow boots, the former Newmarket Town wide man having failed to establish himself in the Football League after spells at Bradford, Rotherham and Brentford. Manager Julian Dicks, who had previously expressed interest in the CUFC job, also named the experienced Glyn Garner in goal, a name undoubtedly known to Martin Ling from his Orient days.
Ling unsurprisingly named the same side that started on Wednesday, their only change being in the colour of their socks which had metamorphosed from amber with a white stripe to black with an amber stripe. Grays, welcomed by a travelling army of 30, sported their usual anaemic powder blue, although Garner was modelling some rather nasty yellow socks.
The visitors demonstrated their willingness to shoot early on, Tom Harvey having an early effort blocked by Josh Coulson, then Guy tried a spectacular effort from outside the box but it flew well wide. They also won the first corner on 5, Rhodes crossing for Alsenny Cissoko to head onto the roof of the net.
United had not made the most dynamic of starts on a pleasantly mild afternoon, with more than a whiff of complacency in the air, and perhaps a better side might have punished them early on. The hosts did however create a very good chance on 9, Lee Phillips flicking on to Crow who squared it for Paul Carden, barrelling into the box down the middle, but he blazed wildly high and wide. Obviously the long-sighted skipper can only find his range from at least thirty yards.
Like Tamworth on Wednesday, the U's were getting plenty of opportunities to get the ball into the box via free-kicks and corners, but a mixture of mediocre delivery and a lack of aerial fire power meant that a nervous-looking Garner was untroubled despite his failing to meet many crosses personally.
On 12 a Jai Reason free-kick swung to the far post found Coulson, but his header into the box could not find an amber shirt, and within the next few minutes both Cissoko and Ritchie Graham prodded shots well wide for the visitors. Ironically Grays were enjoying more goal attempts than their hosts, but their shooting was as inaccurate as Peterborough's managerial selections.
Phillips had been playing well, actually jumping for and winning headers and looking for all the world like the target man he has so far struggled to be this year, and on 19 he almost doubled his goal tally for the season when he nicked the ball deftly from Duran Reynolds (is Duran his second name too? New Romantic parents, eh!) and fired an angled shot narrowly wide.
Cissoko had a shot blocked by Brian Saah on 21, but the match began to drift sleepily like a lilo with the tide going out, with one side knowing that mid-table security was theirs and the other surely knowing that relegation is all but certain. Dan Gleeson injured both himself and Rhodes on 25 with a clumsy and needless jump at a high ball which was going to bounce over both of them, and although they continued after treatment, neither man would complete the match.
Two minutes later Guy tried for another blockbusting shot on the turn from 25 yards out, but to the crowd behind the goal it was more a nose-buster than a net-buster as it flew wildly into the NRE. Jamie doesn't place shots, he just batters them.
Then on the half hour we were awoken from our golden slumbers by a goal whose quality was entirely out of keeping with the forgettable fare hitherto on offer. Antonio Murray found Phillips in the area, who shielded the ball well with his back to goal and held it up for Crow to nip in, whip it off his toe, ghost past a bewildered defender and place a delightful shot low past Garner into the far corner of the net. Superb interplay between the front two: 1-0.
Rhodes was withdrawn, unable to shake off his injury, to be replaced by Harry Agombar, and a minute later Reason drifted a shot wide with a hint of a deflection. It could easily have been two-zip on 36 when Reason again found the head of Coulson at the far post, and this time his nod into the middle found Murray unmarked in the middle eight yards out, but somehow he managed to head wide with all of the goal to aim at. Taxi.
Two minutes later, however, the contest looked all over as United did double their lead. Coulson lofted it long, Phillips flicked into the middle, and Crow managed to bulldoze between Garner and his defenders to prod a trundler home from near the penalty spot. 2-0.
Now with the bit between their teeth, the U's came agonisingly close to a third within another two minutes when Murray squared to Reason whose twenty-yard skimmer cannoned off the foot of the post with Garner frozen in helplessness.
Ref Ford had been pleasingly unobtrusive thus far, in stark contrast to the attention-seeking character we had to endure in midweek, but he was forced to find his yellow card for the first time on 42 to wave it in the direction of Cissoko for a clumsy foul on Murray.
Grays had the last word of the half, Graham's corner finding the head of Spandau Ballet Reynolds, but he could not keep it down. And it was the hosts who went into the break very much the happier, the memory of a rather too laid-back opening laid to rest by two fine goals from which not even the most optimistic away supporter could surely see the visitors recovering.
Gleeson started the second half but withdrew within three minutes, his injury not having sufficiently cleared up, and the versatile Rory McAuley stepped ably into the breach. But United again started rather sleepily, and Grays came oh-so-close to pulling one back on 51: Graham whipped a free-kick into the six-yard box, Simon Brown saved well from Cissoko, and following up, Classix Nouveaux Reynolds somehow managed to blast against the bar from three yards out. Is it a dream?
The visitors' Marc Clarey was next into the book on 55 for flattening Crow from behind, but Reason wasted the free-kick by overhitting it past the far post. Must do better. Grays continued to try to take the game to United, winning another corner, but like Tamworth on Wednesday they did not possess the firepower to overcome an assured U's defence.
Harvey was next to see yellow on the hour for felling Saah on one of his trademark slalom runs, the free-kick again coming to nothing, but on 63 the contest was sealed. Reason swung a long ball towards Murray on the left flank which looked like being intercepted by Garner, but with the United man bearing down in him, the nervy keeper panicked, fumbled and Murray took it past him; with the angle too wide, he pulled it back into the middle, and there was Crow, arriving late to fire a fine finish into the bottom corner past Sigue Sigue Sputnik Reynolds on the line from 18 yards. A well-deserved hat-trick: 3-0.
Crow was soon withdrawn to acclaim from all around the ground, replaced by Calum Willock. On 67 Grays took off Harvey, Alex Osborn depping, and a minute later Agombar nodded a Graham cross wide. On 69 Willock looked to have a good shout for a penalty as Clarey seemed to haul him to the ground, but the ref was not interested, then Neilson latched onto a flicked-on throw to hammer a left-footed shot for the top corner which was acrobatically tipped over by Garner.
Four minutes later Phillips was replaced by Adam Marriott after a fine performance, United's most outstanding young prospect at last given a reasonable amount of time to make an impression. He did not let us down.
Graham carved out a decent chance for the visitors on 74, his teasing cross dropping to right-back Kenny Davis at the far post, but he could only guide a bullet header into the side netting, and a minute later Agombar's corner found the head of Marilyn Reynolds, but Carden nodded away at the far post when it would probably have just flashed wide.
McAuley won possession just inside the Grays half on 79 and advanced positively forward, but his eventual shot sailed disappointingly in the direction of the China Chef. Joseph Bayowa was the visitors' last sub in place of Jordan Wilson, unaccountably sporting gloves on the mildest of days. What was his secret? Flaky skin? Badly bitten fingernails? CLAWS??
Graham's free-kick on 81 found Davis sneaking in behind Coulson, but he headed straight at Brown who clutched after a brief juggle. Then up the other end good work by Reason set up Marriott, who skipped inside past A Flock Of Seagulls Reynolds and flashed a snap shot a yard wide of the far post. Good positive stuff.
On 84 Marriott turned provider, latching onto a ball down the left flank with a perceptive first-time flick that set up Reason for an impressive half-volley which beat Garner all ends up and clanged off the inside of the far post. It was just not Jai's day.
Two minutes later Marriott carved out another chance to score, twisting and turning in the six-yard box but finding himself foiled by a fine point-blank save from Garner, the U's sharpshooter so annoyed with himself he kicked the goalpost.
Thereafter the match drifted to its conclusion, and ultimately a comfortable win for United against spirited but relegation-doomed opponents. The U's are gradually increasing the amount of time per match in which they produce their best, and with Danny Crow in the scoring form of his life, a tenth match unbeaten was a deserved reward.
Safety is assured, although greater challenges still await this emerging team this season, and a good finish would be a great springboard for better things next term. Now up to eleventh; let's keep this going!
Statto Corner
After scoring twice against Tamworth in midweek, Danny Crow's hat-trick today means he has been responsible for five United goals in a row. That is the best consecutive run since Lee Boylan notched seven in five games during March 2008, firing all the team's goals in a 2-0 home win over York, a 2-1 victory at Oxford, a 2-1 defeat at Farsley, a 1-0 home win against Woking and a 2-1 reverse at Crawley.
The club's league record belongs to Steve Butler, who scored eight times in just two matches in the space of three days, a 3-1 win over Leyton Orient and a 5-0 thrashing of Exeter in Devon, on 2nd and 4th April 1994.
Crow has now reached 16 league goals this season (plus four in the FA Trophy and an 'expunged' one against Chester). Scott Rendell top-scored last season for United in the BSP with 13, and with 17 the previous season, the same amount as Robbie Simpson in 2006-07.
Danny's next target must be to reach 20 league goals, a feat achieved only six times in United's Football League days, by Dave Kitson (20 in 2002-03), Trevor Benjamin (20 in 1999-00), Steve Butler (21 in 1993-94), David Crown (25 in 1985-86) and Alan Biley (20 in 1978-79 and 21 in 1977-78).
With the expungement of Chris Holroyd's hat-trick at Chester earlier this season, the last U's man to score three in a match was Lee McEvilly last term in the team's 4-3 defeat at Telford in the Setanta Shield. Last hat-trick at the Abbey was on 22nd January 2008 by Scott Rendell in a 5-0 hammering of Droylsden.
United have never come anywhere near using as many as 67 players in a season as Grays have this term. The higher number they have reached in the last forty years is 41 on three separate occasions: 2006-07 (one ever-present, Michael Morrison), 2004-05 (top appearance maker: Andy Duncan with 40 + 2 as sub) and 2000-01 (Ian Ashbee top with 43 + 1).
With the increasing number of permitted substitutes, it is not surprising that this record has been achieved in the last ten years. The lowest amount of players used is 20 back in 1973-74, the first relegation season in the club's history, while just 21 were used in 1971-72, 1974-75, 1976-77, 1980-81 and 1990-91.
Jamie Guy made a total of twelve appearances for the U's while on loan from Colchester, his debut coming in a 2-1 defeat at Altrincham on 11th February 2006 and his last match a 2-1 home defeat to Dagenham & Redbridge on 29th April. He scored just twice, a memorable winner at Woking on 4th March and another winner in a 2-1 victory over Exeter a month later. After other loan spells with Oxford (for whom he scored against United in September 2008), Dagenham & Redbridge and Port Vale, he was released and signed for Grays this season.
Danny Bunce started eight games for United and made a further eight appearances from the bench. His debut on 12th November 2005 was memorable as he was sent off in a 1-0 win at Morecambe. He played in the same team as Jamie Guy twice in his spell at the Abbey before leaving for Woking, then Chelmsford City before joining Grays. He has played against the U's six times now and achieved just one draw and five defeats, all for Woking before today.
Grays chairman John Moncur made three starts for United and one as sub as a youngster on loan from Tottenham Hotspur in April 1987. After several other loan spells, at Portsmouth, Brentford, Ipswich and Nottingham Forest, he moved on to Swindon and then West Ham, for £900,000, in 1994, where he enjoyed a ten-year career. He played against United twice, for Ipswich in a famous 2-1 away win for the U's in November 1991 which took them top of Division Two, and for Swindon in a 4-1 win for the Wiltshire side in August 1992.
Player Ratings
Brown 7. Rarely extended and, except for that split second when Grays hit the bar, always in command.
Gleeson 7. Good solid performance until forced off through injury.
Partridge 7. Still not convinced he is a left-back - his crossing leaves a lot to be desired - but was not tested down the flank and did his job reliably.
Saah 7. Never troubled by the visitors' less than devastating attack.
Coulson 7. Restricted the opposition to long shots and defended decisively and strongly.
Neilson 7. Not sure what instructions he had from the manager, but spent as much time roaming across the pitch behind the front two as he did on the right wing. One cracking shot well saved by the keeper.
Carden 7. Solid support.
Reason 7. Energetic and delivered some good corners, although the quality of his passing was otherwise decidedly variable, and unlucky to hot the woodwork twice.
Murray 6. Good work to set up the third goal, but still not getting sufficiently involved in the game to make a decisive impression.
Phillips 8. After so many months looking markedly unconvincing as a target man, it suddenly clicked for Lee today as he won headers, held the ball up well and was directly responsible for setting up two of his strike partner's goals. Keep this up and a new contract will be forthcoming.
Crow 9. The goals just keep flowing.
McAuley 7. Filled in more than adequately for Gleeson.
Willock 6. Fairly quiet but did not let anyone down.
Marriott 8. Confirmed his promise with a thrilling fifteen minutes in which he nearly scored twice and set up Reason to hit the post with a perceptive flick. Stardom is just around the corner.
Match Summary
United extended their unbeaten run to ten matches with a comfortable win over the league's bottom club most notable for the arrival of Danny Crow as a truly top-class finisher. It will be interesting to see if this team can keep their record up against the stiffer opposition which awaits in the next few weeks.
Man of the Match
Danny Crow. He will be the first to acknowledge the valuable assistance he received from Lee Phillips, but his three finely-taken goals just oozed class.
Ref Watch
Ford 8. Kept the game flowing, used his cards only when really necessary and for most of the time was barely noticeable at all. Good reffing; could someone send a DVD of the game to the exhibitionist who ruined the game on Wednesday?
Out of the Mouths of Babes
"I enjoyed the game except for four miserable people behind us who did not like it when we shouted '2, 4, 6, 8, who do we appreciate? Cambridge.'" (Michelle Evans)
Soundtrack of the Day
Sappho's Journey "Venerate"
Andrew's previous match reports
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