Saturday 8th August 2009 - U's 0-2 Barrow: No Wheels on my Barrow
Dazzling. Stunning. A triumph. Robbie Willmott's new electric blue boots flashed irresistibly in the bright new-season sunlight. In fact they were so impressive they probably had little wheels in the heels and flashing lights at the back, too. But change is not always a good thing, especially when it has been forced on you.
After a traumatic last month in which all too many people seem to have forgotten that their actions, and the consequences thereof, should always have the best interests of the club at heart first and foremost, the supporters rallied hearteningly behind Paul Carden and the team as they strode out in their new kit for the first league game of the season. This, after all, is what really matters.
The acting manager's team all but picked itself in the absence through injury of Anthony Tonkin, Ben Farrell, Danny Crow and Lee Phillips. Darryl Coakley (below) made his league debut at left-back after an impressive pre-season, Andy Parkinson and Robbie Willmott started on the wings and Chris Holroyd partnered Mark Beesley up front. Courtney Pitt, back in the fold, joined youth products Sam Ives, Rory McAuley and Jordan Patrick on a bench which did not boast a single striker, unless you counted keeper-cum-emergency centre forward Laurie Walker.
Opponents Barrow are as we know unsubtle but obdurate opposition and would provide a stern and competitive test, even without suspended new signing Phil Bolland who served the U's with such distinction last term. But 2008-09 is already a fading memory, and the points have been reset to nought once again. Unless you are Chester City, in which case they have been set to -25.
There was no hint from United of having been affected by recent shenanigans in the early stages, as they passed the ball around confidently in the mid-afternoon heat, but first booking of the day came within four minutes when Barrow forward Jason Walker was rather unluckily carded for 'not retreating' when a United free-kick hit him in the back near halfway.
The pattern of the game was set early, the U's enjoying the better of the possession with patient build-up play but failing to hurt their visitors with their final ball, while Barrow were ready to make the occasional break as and when the opportunity arose.
Wayne Hatswell nodded Jai Reason's free-kick wide on 7, then United forced the first corner but it was cleared by Robin Hulbert (I used to have one of them in the 1970s - nice little runabout). Barrow were to dominate aerially all afternoon, and United wisely stuck to their passing game rather than attempting much long ball stuff.
Best early chance came for Holroyd on 12 as he skipped clear of the visitors' defence, but keeper Stuart Tomlinson stood his ground and saved well. Barrow responded with an Andy Bond shot into the side netting six minutes later, but it was still United who dominated, with the winger/full-back combinations of Parkinson & Gleeson and Willmott & Coakley making a good impact, but still that final ball was lacking.
Parkinson almost produced a goal of the season contender on 26 when out of nothing he produced a high dipping half-volley from over thirty yards out which Tomlinson had to scramble back to turn over his bar with some difficulty. Barrow responded with a run from Bond who appeared clearly offside when the pass was made, but he was allowed to run on and eventually buried his shot in Danny Potter's midriff.
Back came United, and when Holroyd tumbled under pressure when in possession in the box it looked like a good penalty shout, but posturing ref Martin gave a free-kick the other way, not booking Holroyd for any dive so goodness knows what 'offence' he thought he had seen.
A frustrated U's side began to shoot on sight for a refreshing change, Reason having a blaster blocked on 32, Willmott sending a curler just wide then Holroyd hammering one just over the top. Then it was Beesley's turn to scud a bobbler wide, while on 38 Parkinson combined well again with Gleeson to dart into the box and clearly had his shirt tugged, but again the man in black was not interested.
Barrow enjoyed a rare goal opportunity on 41 when Paul Rutherford's corner found the head of Adam Dugdale, Potter blocking well on his line, and Walker dragged his follow-up shot wide. United responded with a breakaway and corner of their own, but still could find no way through the thin blue and white line.
Sean Newton picked up his side's second yellow card for felling Carden as half-time beckoned and United had yet another penalty appeal when Reason went down in the area, but the interval arrived with the match goalless. United had enjoyed easily the better of the play but, without a dominant fulcrum up front, had failed to breach the Barrow back line with their intricate passing. So far, so predictable...
First major incident of part two came on 48 when Carden was hacked to the ground by an agricultural 'challenge' from Simon Spender, who was booked as the United acting manager was given some TLC by Greg Reid and his magic bag.
Having tested the water, Barrow lunged into tackles with ever greater ferocity, and when Holroyd narrowly evaded one challenge on 52 he turned straight into a horrible studs-up foul from Newton. Even then the ref only dismissed him for a second yellow.
Tails up, United surged forward and Reason had the amber hordes crying 'goal' when he fired agonisingly wide of the post from 25 yards, while after a few minutes the visitors introduced a replacement in the form of Mike Pearson instead of front man Darren Green, adopting a 4-4-1 formation.
Coakley, enjoying a fine debut, set up Gleeson for a power drive on 58 which soared just over, but four minutes later the game was turned on its head. Gleeson was harshly judged to have fouled Walker in the D, dead centre, and Carlos Logan stepped up to lift a tremendous free-kick over the wall and past Potter's despairing dive. 1-0 to the visitors.
To call the goal against the run of play would be a massive understatement. The hosts tried to respond and Coakley's ball across the edge of the box on 67 was met by Gleeson whose fantastic drive was heading goalward until acrobatically turned wide by Tomlinson. Beesley nodded a Willmott cross wide three minutes later, then Carden and his bench man Jez George decided a change was needed and introduced Pitt in place of the impressive Coakley.
With Barrow reduced to playing one man up front, it would have been natural to assume that Pitt would play left wing and United would go to three at the back, but puzzlingly, the little wing wizard stationed himself deep behind Parkinson, who had swapped flanks with Willmott, in a conventional left-back's position.
Still the U's probed, and another excellent Reason drive tested Tomlinson on 74, smothering at the second attempt. Another corner came and went, then Carden weaved into the box but was crowded out by a number of bodies, only to find himself unaccountably booked by the weird ref, who had maddened the amber army with his inconsistent decision-making, soft free-kicks in favour of Barrow defenders when challenged by United men, and a bizarre stoppage when he seemed to be talking to various people by the benches while a baffled crowd chanted 'You don't know what you're doing.' The purpose of the stoppage was never made clear.
Sam Ives replaced Reason on 81 as United continued to probe with increasing desperation against Barrow's stout resistance. Willmott fired a free-kick over the top, Carden blazed a shot wide and with four minutes left on the clock Jordan Patrick was introduced for Parkinson as Willmott moved into the middle and the U's at last adopted a 3-4-3 formation with two wingers.
Young Patrick put in some excellent work down the right, forcing a corner, but United still could not find the breakthrough. And as four minutes added time hove into view, came the sucker punch.
Lone striker Walker ran onto a long, bouncing ball down the right channel, Josh Coulson went with him, and when Walker tried to lift it over his head, Josh instinctively patted at the ball with his hand: penalty. Not even a booking for the United man, though. Walker stepped up and hit his spot-kick straight down the middle: 2-0.
The man in black gave his perverse decisions to the end, continuing his one-man crusade against the United attack again when Patrick danced into the box, was hauled to the ground and, incredibly, a free-kick was given against him. This was getting surreal.
Aaron Taylor and Mark Boyd replaced Walker and Hulbert in two cynical time-wasting subs for the visitors, Gleeson tested Tomlinson with yet another shot, but it was all over bar the shouting and the final whistle signalled a rare home defeat for United.
Credit to Barrow for battling but, although the ref had not helped, United had had more than enough possession to win this match, but had not shown enough cutting edge in the final third despite playing plenty of nice passing football. There is something missing: a target man, perhaps, tall, strong and with an eye for goal. Torquay have signed some chap from Peterborough on loan who would have fitted the bill... scored today, too.
It is also missing a manager, of course, and that needs sorting out as a matter of maximum priority. But the Board knows that already. On the evidence of today, the team does not need that much work to turn it into promotion contenders again. But that work needs doing. Very soon indeed. Electric blue boots alone will not suffice...
Statto Corner
There has now been a dismissal in each of United's last four competitive games, a new club record, following the Playoff semi-finals and final last season. Barrow had a player, Mike Pearson, sent off in their game at the Abbey last term as well.
Today saw Barrow's first ever win at the Abbey on their fourth attempt. The sides met twice in the Football League in the early 1970s, with a 3-3 draw and a 1-0 win for the U's before Barrow were replaced by Hereford. And last season the clubs' reunion resulted in a 2-1 win for United, with goals from Lee McEvilly and Wayne Hatswell sending them to the top of the table.
Jordan Patrick (above) became the first player born in the USA to play league football for the U's; he was born in Honolulu. The three previous North Americans to represent United were all Canadian: Gordon Sweetzer, Jim Larkin and Carlo Corazzin.
Three players wore their third different squad number for the first time this afternoon: Josh Coulson (23, 12, 4), Courtney Pitt (29, 11, 25) and Robbie Willmott (26, 18, 11). The record holder is Dan Gleeson with five (31, 20, 25, 7 and 2) while Daniel Chillingworth is runner-up with four (32, 27, 12, 9).
Other players to have worn three different squad numbers are: Adam Davies, Ash Fuller, Warren Goodhind, Ashley Nicholls, Darren Quinton, Marcus Richardson, John Taylor, Shane Tudor, John Turner and Rob Wolleaston.
Today was the first time United had failed to win their first league game of the season since their defeat to Northwich in 2006-07. Defeat has been the most common result in the Noughties, though; our ten-year record is W2, D2, L6. The Nineties saw no draws at all with five wins and five defeats, while the Eighties saw a record of W4, D2, L4. United's first Football League decade, the Seventies, saw four wins, three draws and three defeats. The U's were slow starters in the Sixties, though, with a record of W1, D5, L4, and they lost both opening matches of their Southern League championship seasons.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Decent game, and had no chance with the free-kick. He'd have saved the penalty, though, if he had just stood still and not dived out of its way. Why do keepers do that?
Gleeson 8. Fine effort and a threat going forward, too. Perhaps he could lend the strikers his shooting boots for Tuesday.
Coulson 7. Splendidly strong performance, only spoiled by that silly handball at the end.
Hatswell 7. The rock of the side.
Coakley 8. The youngster has been cool all pre-season and he proved he can do it when it matters with as assured a league debut as I have ever seen.
Willmott 6. A regular threat during the first half but made too many wrong choices in the second.
Carden 8. Cards has got through the last month with great dignity and led by example today.
Reason 7. Busy and committed without really finding that killer pass.
Parkinson 6. Enjoyed a decent first half, faded thereafter.
Holroyd 7. Caused Barrow problems when given the chance to show his pace, just needs to toughen up against teams like this.
Beesley 6. Some nice touches, but no penetration.
Pitt 6. Introduced in a rather peculiar position and managed a smattering of decent crosses.
Ives 6. Not on for long but confirmed his promise with a mature display.
Patrick 6. Exciting late cameo full of positive, pacy wing play.
Match Summary
The opening day of the season saw perhaps the most one-sided 0-2 ever seen at the Abbey with United dominating possession but foiled by an inspired keeper and their own profligacy, and conceding the points to Barrow's two set pieces, almost their only shots in the match. Disappointing, but let's not push the panic button just yet, eh?
Man of the Match
Dan Gleeson. International quality.
Ref Watch
Martin 3. An officious, strutting poseur whose performance was as unacceptable, unpalatable and just plain wrong as his horrible tight Eighties shorts. No interest in awarding United a penalty, penalising the strikers for laughable 'offences' and a preposterous booking for diving against Carden were just some of his many crimes against football.
Out of the Mouths of Babes
In the 1982-83 season, United invited a different local school to every home match, who would also provide the game's mascot and ballboys, then invited the children to write to them afterwards with their impressions of their day out. These were then printed in the matchday programme. This season we will be reprinting some of those words of innocent wisdom...
"When we got to our seats I saw Andy Sinton carrying two buckets of water over the pitch. I asked Mr Ferguson what they were for. He said it was for if the players ran too fast and they caught fire." (Charlotte Hatter)
Soundtrack of the Day
The Boy Least Likely To 'When Life Gives Me Lemons I Make Lemonade'
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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