Tuesday 14th July 2009 - U's 0-4 Blackburn Rovers: Dunchompin
Dion Dublin's head. The music of Steely Dan. A baby's bottom. Bing Crosby. Chris Gayle at the crease. There are many things which are the epitome of 'smooth.' But Ian Darler's newly-laid pitch was right up there with the best on Tuesday night, an immaculate, baize-like swathe of green which looked the equal of any in the country. A beautiful sight.
Unfortunately the majority of supporters' thoughts were elsewhere, still digesting the events of the previous day which had seen United lose their second manager in two summers in untidy and acrimonious circumstances. Whatever the rights and wrongs of the last month, there is no denying Gary Brabin did a fine job in his first full season as a manager and he will be missed, a sentiment that a number of fans expressed in song at various junctures throughout the evening.
But, barring a spectacular board u-turn, we are now in what must be known as the post-Brabin era; the show must go on. It has to be said that no-one seemed to be exactly chomping at the bit on an Abbey evening whose mood could best be described as subdued. The entire squad warmed up on the lush emerald sward except for outcasts Jon Challinor and Courtney Pitt, confined to laps of the pitch, while there was no sign of either contractless Darryl McMahon or Saturday's trialist, Rhys Day.
Blackburn had brought more or less all of their senior squad, overseen by a furiously masticating Sam Allardyce, and they lined up in white shirts and red shorts against the Cambridge blue-clad hosts. No sign of those new home strips yet, then...
Younger supporters will struggle to even remember the reason why this fixture was originally arranged, Freddie Murray having arrived at the Abbey on loan from Rovers in December 2001 and, after an inauspicious debut in a 3-0 home defeat by Bristol City, proving to be an instant hit with his no-nonsense, take-no-prisoners tackling, signing permanently the following March.
In all the likeable Irishman made exactly one hundred league and cup appearances for the U's over two and a half seasons, mostly in defence as a left-back or left wing-back with the occasional foray as one of a central defensive trio or, less successfully, as a winger.
He never managed a goal, and departed for Northampton in the close season of 2004, new boss Herve Renard replacing him with Abdou El Kholti. After a few injury-plagued seasons he was last sighted at Exeter, although he is no longer on their books.
On a temperate, intermittently sunny evening, change was in the air; the back wall of the Habbin looked splendid in black and amber stripes, and the club's new-look programme is now 'The Official Magazine' and a very fine read, too.
United were captained by Danny Potter, acting manager Paul Carden choosing to leave himself out, and a strong back four consisted of automatic choices Dan Gleeson and Wayne Hatswell, likely first choice Josh Coulson and young Darryl Coakley, depping confidently for the injured Anthony Tonkin.
A conventional 4-4-2 saw two wide men in Andy Parkinson and Robbie Willmott flanking Jai Reason and Ben Farrell, highlighting United's lack of southpaws in midfield, while Lee Phillips was paired with Danny Crow up front. New pros and CRC graduates Sam Ives, Adam Marriott, Rory McAuley and Jordan Patrick were included on the bench alongside Chris Holroyd, Mark Beesley and towering scholar Blaine Hudson.
There was plenty of experience in Blackburn's starting line-up, including Kiwi skipper Ryan Nelsen, Aussie Vince Grella, Frenchman Gael Givet, Keith Andrews, Paul Gallagher and the ever-popular El Hadji 'Spit The Dog' Diouf, who received unmerciful abuse from the off from the Abbey faithful. To his credit, he just laughed it off, having I'm sure heard much, much worse from far greater numbers on his travels, even kissing the ball as he prepared to take a throw in front of the Habbin while grinning broadly. He'd make a great pantomime villain. He's behind you! He's... too late, he's taken your legs away with a scissor tackle.
Earliest danger man, however, was diminutive right-winger Aaron Doran, a little buzzing menace of a man, but United stood firm and tried to pass the ball as best as they could, Gleeson and Parkinson making a favourable impression down the right. Willmott found Phillips escaping his marker on 11, but his shot was underhit and comfortably held by ex-Northampton keeper Mark Bunn.
It was the visitors, however, who began to gain the upper hand with some slick passing football which United struggled to contain, yet alone emulate. Reason and Farrell chased fruitlessly while Willmott looked lost on the left, and Andrews, Doran and Diouf dominated proceedings without actually creating a great deal against an impressively obdurate United back four.
Rovers, however, took the lead just before the half hour, Diouf gaining a free-kick some thirty yards out and Andrews stepping up to fire into the top right corner with the help of a deflection off the wall which left Potter stranded. 1-0.
It might have been two a couple of minutes when Gallagher sprinted clear from the centre circle, but Coulson chased what looked like a lost cause and dispossessed him just inside the box with a fantastic telescope-legged tackle reminiscent of Phil Bolland at his best.
Blackburn were handed their second, however, on 37, when Reason aimed a disastrously misjudged header back towards his defence from inside the centre circle. Coulson just managed to stop it reaching the lurking Diouf and touched it to Hatswell, but a horrendous miscontrol presented it on a plate to the Senegalese international and he hared clear unchallenged to comfortably beat the exposed Potter from twenty yards with the coolest of finishes. 2-0.
Phillips had looked the best of United's attacking options with his bustling, muscling running and Reason set him up for another pop at goal, but again his on-target shot lacked anywhere near the power to beat Bunn. Blackburn knocked it around with growing confidence, and just before the interval Andrews tried an outrageous chip from halfway when Potter strayed too far off his line, but as the United No.1 chased back frantically it dropped just over the bar.
United had played their part in a low-key though entertaining first 45, but had not kept or passed the ball well enough to truly trouble their assured Premier League opponents.
Rovers fielded an entirely different side in part two, but it was no less daunting with names like Stephen Warnock, Zurab Khizanishvili (bless you), David Dunn, Lars Jacobsen and front two Benni McCarthy and Jason Roberts. And Chris Samba must be at least eight feet tall. Carden kept his powder dry for the moment.
Five minutes in, however, he withdrew the unimpressive Farrell in favour of Ives (above), who gave a good account of himself from the off, and on 55 Beesley and Holroyd replaced Phillips and Parkinson, United retaining the 4-4-2 with Holroyd playing wide right.
Two minutes later, however, the game was effectively over as a contest when Warnock made an effective run down the left and crossed low for Roberts to ram home from close range, although there was a convincing-looking claim for a Blackburn handball in the build-up. 3-0.
Marriott (above) and McAuley entered the fray for Crow and Hatswell on 65 but the U's remained unable to create much in the way of scoring chances, although both youngsters looked encouragingly comfortable and confident in such elevated company.
Blackburn had replaced Doran with an equally tricky wingman in fellow Irishman Alan Judge and he stung Potter's gloves with a couple of decent shots, as did Dunn, but United's inexperienced back four gave a reasonable account of themselves against two wily and well-travelled strikers.
Jordan Patrick replaced Willmott on 73, but Blackburn's slick passing bore fruit again five minutes later when Roberts finished off a neat move with another close-range finish. 4-0.
Second-half keeper Jason Brown's trickiest save came, ironically, from an inswinging Reason corner, but although United huffed and puffed they could not come up with a sufficiently clinical move to beat the visitors' rearguard.
Hudson made his first-team debut in place of Gleeson two minutes from the end to leave Coulson as the oldest head in a youthful back four, and it was encouraging to see United finish the match with seven youth products on the field. The future bodes well; it is just the present that needs sorting out at the moment.
Ultimately United had been outclassed, and there was no disgrace in that. But what they now need is leadership and organisation from a new boss in time for the start of the league season. The foundations are there; now we have to rebuild. Again. Watch this space.
Statto Corner
Jason Roberts maintained his 100% goalscoring record against the U's. He faced United twice for Bristol Rovers in the 1999-2000 season, notching his side's only goals in a 1-0 home win for the Pirates in January and a 1-1 draw at the Abbey three months later.
The only other Blackburn player from Tuesday night to have come up against the U's before is their other Jason, Brown. He kept goal for Gillingham in their 2-1 away win in the Coca-Cola Cup on 12th August 2003; Justin Walker gave United a half-time lead, but goals from John Hills and Nyron Nosworthy handed the hosts a first round defeat. United's team included Freddie Murray, the reason for tonight's game, plus two players who were playing just up the road for Histon this evening, Adam Tann and Shane Tudor.
The last time United played Blackburn was also in a pre-season friendly, in 1996. The visitors ran out 3-0 winners thanks to goals from Kevin Gallacher, Tim Sherwood and Lars Bohinen.
Their previous visit before that had been on 25th February 1992 in Division Two (now known as 'The Championship'). Third-placed United defeated the then-leaders 2-1 thanks to Phil Chapple and a David May own goal, and both teams eventually finished on 74 points, in fifth and sixth place. The U's went on to lose to Leicester in the playoff semi-finals, Blackburn beat Derby then saw off the Foxes in the final to take their place in the inaugural FA Premier League, finishing fourth and second behind Manchester United before winning it in 1994-95, the season the U's suffered their second relegation in three seasons. That is how quickly and radically change can happen in football.
That February 1992 match was actually a re-staging of the teams' meeting of 10th December 1991, when on a freezing cold night the teams stumbled through a goalless first half on a pitch harder than concrete but treacherously slippery with ice, afraid to make a tackle for fear of injury, until the ref abandoned the farcical proceedings during the interval.
United's 4-0 defeat tonight was their heaviest in a friendly at the Abbey since 2006, when West Ham won by the same margin with goals from Dean Ashton, Mark Noble, Carlton Cole and Kyel Reid. Since then of course the U's have suffered two 5-0 home defeats, to York City in the Conference and Crawley in the FA Trophy.
Player Ratings
Potter 6. Could not really fault him for any of the goals.
Gleeson 7. An excellent pre-season so far.
Coulson 8. Staked his claim impressively.
Hatswell 6. Another howler; get them all out of the way before August, Hats.
Coakley 7. Cool as a cucumber.
Parkinson 7. Lively presence on the right.
Reason 6. Quiet so far in the friendlies; it would be nice to see a bit more soon.
Farrell 5. So far has failed to deliver a performance that screams 'Pick me!'
Willmott 5. Out of position and mostly out of his depth on the left. Too wasteful of possession.
Crow 6. Put in the work but to little avail.
Phillips 7. United's best forward by a mile.
Ives 7. This boy looks a real prospect, calm and strong on the ball and an intelligent passer.
Beesley 6. Busy and hopefully will continue to improve after his long lay-off.
Holroyd 6. Never looked entirely comfortable as a right or left winger.
Marriott 6. Half the size of his marker, Samba, but got some good touches in.
McAuley 6. Looked assured and a possible cover option at centre-back.
Patrick 5. Struggled to get into the game, but good experience for the youngster.
Hudson 5. Barely on long enough to get a touch.
Match Summary
There were a few good individual performances, but Blackburn's Premier League class told in a rather subdued season's opener at the Abbey.
Man of the Match
Josh Coulson. Strong and decisive in the tackle and in the air, didn't waste possession, and overall looks a shoo-in to partner Hatswell at the back come 8th August.
Ref Watch
Deadman 7. Easy ninety minutes.
Soundtrack of the Day
The Enemy 'Sing When You're In Love'
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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