U's 0-2 Torquay: Groundhog Roast
Sunday 17th May 2009 - U's 0-2 Torquay: Groundhog Roast
I had the strangest dream last night. I had gone back in time and my beloved United had been relegated out of the Football League and were reduced to playing minor clubs like Stevenage, Histon and Eastbourne. The shame. But then I woke up in 2009, and we were - phew! - back in the League again. The bright lights of Dagenham, Accrington and Rochdale beckoned once more.
And then I really woke up...
Wembley. Plus ça change. It looked the same as last year, albeit a little greyer under the moping clouds that threatened to disgorge upon us at any moment. And there were the throngs of supporters, bedecked in amber and black and yellow and blue, wandering wide-eyed up Wembley Way without an apparent care in the world, stopping only to mug for a souvenir photograph or to buy an overpriced flag from a vulpine street vendor. It was going to be a Wonderful Family Day Out.
But for those of us who went through this experience last year, 364 days to the hour, it felt different. We had been through our WFDO already, and as a consequence had endured another season of Glass Worlds and A-Lines, Broadhalls and Broadfields, Wessex and Victoria, Grays and Evans, Ebbsfleets and Diamonds and Forests Green. And we really did not want another one.
We were not interested in twenty-second videoclips, five-pound programmes, last-minute T-shirts or eight-pound quarter-pounders, even with compulsory soggy chips. All that mattered was ninety minutes on Wembley's fresh and verdant turf, and a score that would send us back to where we belong. This was not pleasure; this was business.
The Tubes and pubs were alive with the sights and sounds of the amber army, just like last year, and it was as ever a spectacle to gladden the heart of any United follower. But this time it needed to be more than just a celebration of a season and of reaching a showpiece final. It had to lead to something greater, to the achievement that everyone associated with the club has worked towards for the last four years.
After the unremitting shambles of the tinpot ticketing arrangements, it was a relief to gain entrance to the most expensively assembled stadium in the world, doubly so after the seemingly endless uphill trudge to the turnstiles in the teeth of an unseasonably chilly gale. The video screens were showing some bizarre short films of random players from both sides, which included one of Danny Crow demonstrating that he could kick footballs between rugby posts. Perhaps someone should have told Danny that the ability to hoof the ball over a crossbar is not a particularly desirable one for a striker, no matter how frequently or expertly Newcastle players might do it.
Wembley was its usual never-knowingly-understated self, an impressive arena full of sound and fury, from the booming PA to the flashy video screens to the ever-changing electronic advertising hoardings, an endless array of garish slogans and logos which, rather surreally, included a puff for Cambridge University, which after 800 years seems to have acquired itself a snappy slogan, 'transforming tomorrow', although into what tomorrow would be transformed (today? yesterday? Wednesday week? ) remained unclear.
United's impressive 20,000 strong following drifted in steadily, from old stagers in their Fujitsu and Howlett shirts, to occasionals in their 2002 LDV hats, to the newbies with their amusing jester's hats and not-at-all-irritating horns sounding like the wheezing of a thousand asthmatic cattle. There were even a couple of Poles wearing two scarves each, one United, one Polska. Torquay's following seemed to have segregated itself, with one cluster behind the goal, great yawning gaps either side and more gatherings further round.
The pre-match 'entertainment' was about as slick as the ticketing, Setanta videos with barely audible soundtracks followed by some random chap with a microphone wandering into the middle of the pitch and starting to sing some sort of 'classical medley' which began with 'Volare' and went downhill from there. Still, he thought he was great, waving confidently as he was ignored by 95% of the audience. Simon Cowell was not taking notes.
The players were welcomed noisily onto the pitch for the warm-up, and the rumours were swiftly confirmed: poor Danny Potter was injured, and emergency loan signing Adam Bartlett was to make his United debut on this most demanding of occasions.
The teams were announced on-pitch by representatives of each club, our very own Stuart Wood doing the honours for the U's, and apart from Bartlett, the line-up was unchanged from that which battered Stevenage in the semi. Torquay, too, made only one injury-enforced change, Elliot Benyon accompanying the scarily masked Tim Sills up front in place of Blair Sturrock.
The pre-match comedy continued when the overexcited PA announcer screamed 'Welcome Cambridge United and Torquay United!!', triggering a mighty roar and a blizzard of Yellow Pages tickertape, heralding... nothing. No-one was emerging from the tunnel. At all. The cheers gradually died down, the yellow-and-black paper snow twisting and tumbling in the air, settling gently into hair, pockets and the backs of necks, and several minutes passed uncomfortably until the teams finally made their appearance. Thankfully the amber army had kept a decent amount of ammunition in reserve, and the air turned yellow again as smoke and flame billowed from pitchside as if Steve Evans had just exploded. Although we were not showered with the remains of a dozen semi-digested cream cakes, at least.
Martin O'Neill was the dignitary chosen to pump the players' hands, then after our opera-loving friend had bellowed his way through 'God Save The Queen' like a wounded walrus, the players were at last able to break away and disperse towards their supporters, Torquay in white and United in fresh new amber shirts and black shorts. The U's went into their customary huddle, from which one could see that whoever had stuck the names on the backs of the shirts had forgotten that there are two i's in Phillps, sorry, Phillips. The roars grew to a crescendo: game on.
Early exchanges were understandably tentative, but there was controversy on 5 when Wayne Hatswell and Tim Sills clashed going for a high ball and the U's man was knocked violently to the ground by what looked like a forearm smash. Hats needed treatment from Greg Reid, but ref Sutton did not see fit to award even a yellow card. Perhaps he should have suggested that Sills lend his victim a spare protective mask if that was the way he was going to make aerial challenges.
First booking, in fact, came six minutes later when former United trialist Wayne Carlisle felled Courtney Pitt. Hatswell went for power from the resultant free-kick 25 yards out, but it was deflected wide by Chris Todd in the wall, and Pitt's ensuing corner to the near post was comfortably cleared.
Bartlett looked calm and his first save on 13 was a cool collect from a Benyon header, then Jai Reason drew a save from opposing number one Michael Poke with a low shot from the edge of the box. Sills picked up the card for which he had been spoiling on 18, inevitably for a foul on Hatswell, then Scott Rendell saw a shot blocked off by Todd, leading to another Pitt corner which was cleared by Sills.
There was a hint of retribution about Hatswell's foul on Sills which brought him a reciprocal booking on 21, but overall United were marginally on top, their build-up play just lacking that killer ball in the final third. Lee Phillips fired narrowly wide on the turn on 23, then play flowed back up the end as Phil Bolland robbed Benyon at the expense of a corner which was cleared by Dan Gleeson, Bartlett rising to snap up the follow-up flag-kick.
Best effort of the day so far came on 27, Chris Hargreaves' cross half-cleared to Chris Robertson who blasted just the wrong side of the post from the D. Two minutes later Bolland fouled Benyon to concede a free-kick which afforded Carlisle a chance to have a go at goal, but he blazed wildly over into the jeering amber throng.
Then came United's best attempt as Robbie Willmott cut inside and, instead of crossing, went for goal and forced an excellent save from the diving Poke with his effort from a narrow angle. That stop looked all the more vital on 34 as Torquay took the lead.
Benyon was the Gulls' hold-up man just in front of the United back four, and this time he waited for Hargreaves to make a characteristic run from deep, belying his 37 years to brush off the feeble challenge of Reason to latch onto the ball just outside the box and lash impressively home, possibly with the help of a slight deflection, to leave Bartlett with no chance. 1-0.
Oh no. Not again. Any optimism generated by United's decent, if not exactly blinding first half, suddenly took a mighty blow. It couldn't happen for the second year in a row, could it?
The U's attempted to respond with a quick break which culminated in a Phillips header, well wide, but on 41 it could easily have been two-nil when Sills broke through down the right channel, his cross was half-blocked by a combination of Gleeson and Bartlett to stop it getting through to Danny Stevens, and as it spun free and it became apparent that Benyon was going to outpace Bolland to snap up a tap-in, Gleeson hauled himself off the floor to hook it heroically clear.
Sills nodded wide a minute later, Willmott cut inside but shot wildly wide of the far post on 43 with the whole goal to aim at, and in the final action of the half Bartlett plucked a Lee Mansell cross out of the air.
Nil-one was not the scoreline that the amber hordes had wanted or expected at half-time, and although United had enjoyed marginally more of the possession, they simply had not done enough with it. Too many crosses from their erratic wingers either went astray or didn't even beat the first man, while Reason and a below-par Paul Carden in the middle were not offering their strikers sufficient support, seeming afraid to venture too far forward, and when they did get near enough to see the whites of Poke's eyes, unwilling to shoot, instead passing the buck sideways or running up a blind alley.
Rendell and Phillips had worked hard despite little quality supply, while at the back Gleeson had been the pick, defending solidly and getting forward when the opportunity arose. Hatswell had been occupied with his duel with Sills, Bolland had been solid if a little lacking in pace, and Anthony Tonkin had looked subdued, for which one tends to read 'overawed.' Maximum credit, though, to Bartlett, who had not put a foot or hand wrong.
Mr Volare ventured out again to offer his unique take on 'Nessum Dorma,' although 'Nullus Vadum Audio' would have been more appropriate given the busy crowd's lack of interest, while Our Gary made what had to be the most important team talk of his life. More quality, more courage, just... more, please.
The U's started part two positively, Rendell gaining the first corner which was cleared by Sills, but they also attracted the first booking on 51 when Bolland was penalised for felling Benyon. Hargreaves touched the free-kick to Kevin Nicholson, whose goalbound drive was headed away from danger by Rendell, and the follow-up corner was clutched safely by the redoubtable Bartlett.
United responded with a little spell of their own, Gleeson seeing a low drive deflected away for a corner which was once again nodded away by that man Sills. Rendell almost latched onto a ball over the top on 55, tumbling as Poke challenged him for the ball, but his claim for a penalty was less then convincing.
Pitt had become increasingly frustrating with his inability to get his crosses past the nearest opposition player, and no-one was surprised when he was withdrawn just after the hour in favour of Andy Parkinson. Parky, however, stationed himself wide left where we know from previous occasions that his right-footedness (northpaw?) leaves him less than comfortable or particularly effective. Surely the in-form, endlessly pacy Chris Holroyd was chomping at the bit for a runout on Wembley's wide green spaces.
Torquay had the next chance, Sills nodding Stevens' cross over on 65 - the Gulls were far more adept at finding their target men than United - but much worse was to come for the U's on 70. Caught pressing forward, Benyon broke away down the left and although he seemed to be heading for nowhere more dangerous than the corner flag, Bolland made a clumsy, ill-advised and uncharacteristic tackle from behind which brought the white-shirted striker tumbling down. Second yellow, first red; United were now one down in goals and in numbers.
Thinking positively, Our Gary did not attempt to replace Bolly and United continued with three at the back. They almost paid the price immediately as Nicholson's free-kick found Sills at the far post, he crashed his shot against the woodwork, and Todd spooned the rebound over the top from seven yards.
United bravely continued to chase the game, but they were exposed again on 75 when Carlisle broke free down United's yawningly empty left flank and crossed for Sills to time his run to perfection, bulleting his header past a helpless Bartlett from close range. Killer: 2-0.
Even the most blindly optimistic U's supporter could see that the game was up; the spirit of Stevenage would not see United through to saving this one. Carden, who had been carrying an injury through a thoroughly disappointing second half, was withdrawn in favour of Jon Challinor on 79, to be followed a couple of minutes later by the injured Willmott, replaced by the extremely belated appearance of Holroyd, United's most in-form striker of the last few months. Parkinson moved to wide right, Holroyd to the left.
He wasted no time in attacking the Gulls with pace and vigour, and a quality of cross that had hitherto been markedly lacking, but Torquay's two banks of four knew they only had to hold on now to return to the Football League after two years in the Conference. Time-wasting subs followed, Lee Hodges for Stevens on 84 and Tyrone Thompson for Benyon on 86.
United toiled valiantly in those last few minutes, desperation lending them an urgency they had lacked earlier. Holroyd cut inside and cracked a goalbound shot which was blocked by Rendell, of all people, and in added time Rendell himself was blatantly pushed in the back by Todd in the penalty area, but the man in black refused all spot-kick claims. Parkinson had a shot gathered by Poke, Challinor saw a goalward blaster blocked, but it was all too little, too late. Another playoff final had slipped away.
It is easy to bemoan the unfairness of a league system which allows a team to finish runners-up twice in a row but to lose promotion in a one-off game against a team which finished below them. And there is no doubt that the strength of the BSP merits at least three promotion places, which will surely come in due course.
But unfortunately, United have failed to deliver when it most mattered for the second year in a row. They played marginally better than last season, but too many players failed to find anything like their best form when it was really needed, did not seize the day with both hands, and lacked the mental strength to express themselves freely. Torquay were really nothing special, but they were efficient, professional, held themselves together better and took the chances that came their way.
All this disappointment, however, should not hide the fact that until that bitter end, United had given its loyal followers one hell of a good season. To equal last season's league placing and record points tally after the extreme turmoil of the departure of Jimmy Quinn and half the squad in what seemed like the blink of an eye, reflects great credit on Gary Brabin, his staff and a fine playing squad that has brought us all so much pleasure this season.
Doubles over Kidderminster, Barrow and Salisbury, superb defeats of Burton, Wrexham, Eastbourne, Kettering and Rushden, the 'impossible' pursuit of Burton, that unforgettable extra-time semi-final destruction of Stevenage, and yes, finally getting the measure of Histon were just some of the highlights of 2008-09.
One of the club's most solid ever defences, led by the twin towers of the outstanding Hatswell and Bolland, the inspiration of Danny Potter, the leadership of Paul Carden, the goal power of Scott Rendell and, for a time, Lee McEvilly, the thrilling potential of youngsters like Holroyd, Willmott, Reason, Coulson and the next generation coming through via the outstanding CRC team are all reasons to remember this year with pride.
And with United continuing to move forward off the pitch, too, and over 1,700 season tickets sold for next term, there is every reason to look forward to 2009-10 with renewed optimism and enthusiasm. I, and probably you too, just need a little rest first. A ruddy long one, frankly. Keep the faith. And see you in July for the next exciting chapter!
Statto Corner
United's record in major finals worsens every year. Their first playoff win, 1-0 over Chesterfield at Wembley in 1990, has now been followed by three consecutive defeats, losing 4-1 to Blackpool in the LDV at the Millennium Stadium in 2002, and 1-0 to Exeter last year before today.
It has, however, been a record-breaking season for live TV appearances. This term's eleven surpassed last year's nine, while before that the U's had been broadcast live only seven times in their history. The famous XI were: Kettering (home, 0-2), Oxford (away, 1-3), Forest Green (away, 2-2), Wrexham (away, 0-2), Oxford (home, 1-1), Kidderminster (away, 3-1), Histon (away, 1-1), Woking (away, 1-0), Stevenage (away semi-final, 1-3), Stevenage (home semi-final, 3-0) and today's final.
It has also been a record season for red cards in matches involving United; the total of 18 beat by one the previous high set in 2002-03. This season's split was 7 to the U's and 11 to the opposition, against 8 and 9 previously. That eleven is a record in one term for teams playing against the U's, but United's own record is nine sent off in the 2006-07 season.
There has now been a player dismissed in each of United's last three games. This is by no means a first, though; in fact, there were red cards in three consecutive matches earlier this season, in the shape of Ben Farrell at home to Kettering on 25th August, Cameron Mawer for Weymouth five days later, and Rory McAuley at Ebbsfleet on 2nd September.
The first time this notable 'hat-trick' occurred was during the last two games of 1999 and the first of 2000: Martin McNeil at Oxford, three Cardiff players in that notorious goalless draw two days later, then Jason Kavanagh at Bristol Rovers. The only other time it happened was in November 2002: our old chum Nathan Abbey for Northampton in the LDV, the legendary Terry Fleming at Scarborough in the FA Cup, and another threesome for Exeter in United's 2-1 win in Devon on the 23rd. There were also three dismissals in consecutive League games at the start of the 2001-02 season, but West Brom visited for a red cardless League Cup win before the third match.
Today's attendance of 35,089 was the fifth largest attendance ever at a Cambridge United game. Our FA Cup quarter-final at Arsenal in 1991 remains on top at 42,973, followed by last season's playoff final (42,511), an FA Cup fourth round replay at Aston Villa in 1980 (36,835) and our highest ever League crowd, 36,002 at West Ham in 1981.
United lost all of those matches, and you would have to look as far down as the club's ninth largest attendance for their first victory, their only Wembley win in 1990 against Chesterfield: 26,404. As far as home crowds go, the record 14,000 at the Abbey for the friendly versus Chelsea in 1970 comes 62nd on the all-time list. The U's have won ten, drawn 16 and lost 36 of those sixty-two... or more accurately, they have won nine and a half, as Chelsea's Reserves took United's place for the second half of that famous game. Well, the U's did have an important match the next day which they needed to win to clinch the Southern League championship. They beat Margate 2-0 and won it by a point; the attendance was 5,298.
What irony that Danny Potter should miss United's last game of the season. He was the club's only ever-present during the league season, and in all competitions only missed the Setanta Shield defeat at Telford. His grand total of 52 edged out the centre-back pairing of Wayne Hatswell (51) and Phil Bolland (48), Anthony Tonkin (49 + 1 sub) and Paul Carden (47).
Adam Bartlett played in all three of Kidderminster's games against the U's this season, as United doubled them in the league (2-1 and 3-1) but went down 1-0 at Aggborough in the FA Cup. He is the second Bartlett to play for United after injury-plagued striker Kevin; the U's paid £65,000 for the then 30-year-old in March 1993 from Notts County, but he only managed three starts and five sub appearances before giving up the full-time game. His only goal was in a 3-0 home win over (who else) Notts County…
United are chock-a-block with Wembley losers. Lee Phillips was on the wrong side there for the third consecutive season, having lost the playoff final with Exeter in 2007 and the FA Trophy final with Torquay last year. Gary Brabin also completed his hat-trick of defeats after two Trophy final playing appearances for Runcorn. And Messrs Gleeson, Hatswell, Carden and Pitt picked up runners-up medals for the second year in a row.
Wembley guest Martin O'Neill played at the Abbey twice during his career. The first time was for Norwich in the Canaries' 2-1 win on 3rd April 1982. The second was for the U's as a guest in the Steve Spriggs/Steve Fallon testimonial of 30th July 1985, in a 3-2 defeat by a full-strength Manchester United side which included Bryan Robson, Mark Hughes, Paul McGrath and Frank Stapleton. Any possibility of O'Neill signing permanently for United were dashed when he received a knee injury during the match which effectively finished his playing career. Northern Ireland's qualification for the World Cup finals in 1986 inspired him to try one more comeback for Chesterfield, but the injury forced him off after twenty minutes of his first reserve game and that was that. He went on to try management at Grantham Town and the rest, as they say, is history.
There is simply no escaping Christian Hargreaves. Over the last twenty years, the lank-haired midfield dynamo has played against United no less than 26 times, for Grimsby (3), Hull (3), Hereford (4), Plymouth (1), Northampton (8), Oxford (2) and Torquay (5). His record against the U's is won 8, drawn 9, lost 9, and he has scored five times, twice for Northampton and once for Hereford, Oxford and, of course, Torquay. What's the betting we haven't seen the last of the old buzzard yet, even at the age of 37.
Player Ratings
Bartlett 8. Made what must have been a nerve-wracking debut look easy with a calm, safe-handed display. No chance with either goal.
Gleeson 8. Local boy made good.
Hatswell 7. Enjoyed a ding-dong battle with Sills, but was overrun in the end. Still United's player of the season.
Bolland 7. Had a decent game apart from two mistimed tackles. Shame such a splendid season had to end this way.
Tonkin 6. Wholehearted, but nowhere near his best.
Willmott 6. Had his moments, just not enough of them. Must improve distribution and decision making next season.
Carden 6. Disappointing end to a fine campaign. Can do so much better.
Reason 6. Always involved, but lost Hargreaves for the first goal and seemed afraid to shoot despite several opportunities. A good young player who still has much to learn, hopefully at the Abbey.
Pitt 5. The day's biggest letdown, his crossing was mostly poor and rarely got past the first man. Unfulfilled talent.
Phillips 7. Led the line with strength and energy; not given enough quality support.
Rendell 6. A match too far for United's magnificent goal machine, but he kept trying to the end.
Parkinson 6. Confirmed that he is totally unsuited to playing on the left, improved a little when he switched wings.
Challinor 6. Given a hopeless task when introduced with eleven minutes to go, but did his best. At least he tried a ruddy shot.
Holroyd 8. Why on Earth was he left on the bench for so long?? Looked more positive and threatening during his ten minutes than the rest of the team combined for the previous 80.
Match Summary
It was Groundhog Day for United in oh so many ways and they underperformed on the biggest stage for the second year in a row to leave their fantastic support unrewarded again. All of the players, young and experienced, need to learn the value of mental strength and having the courage to fail.
Man of the Match
Dan Gleeson. United's right-back saved one of his best performances of the season for the final. If only more of his team-mates had done the same.
Ref Watch
Sutton 5. Left Sills' early foul on Hatswell go unpunished, but sent Bolland off for just about his only two fouls of the match. Refs truly are a breed apart. Part lizard, I think...
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"Success is everybody's desire but can only be achieved if you have the courage to meet failure without being defeated. It is refusing to let present loss interfere with your long range goals. Success is accepting the challenge of the difficult." [Grimsby, 18/1/92]
"Amongst all the pressure and ambition at this football club we must all preserve our sense of humour. Let's all be strong with our determination and light hearted with each other." [Swindon, 25/1/92]
"We all have a dream at Cambridge and I am sure it is about the same thing. Through all the disappointments and knockbacks we must bounce back even stronger." [Plymouth, 26/12/91]
All of this season's quotes have been taken from John Beck's programme notes for Cambridge United between 1990 and 1992. During 1991-92 his page bore the legend 'John Beck is sponsored by Gareth Baldwin.' Funny, the name rings a bell somewhere...
Hello... Goodbye
Happy birthday to Graham Atkinson (1943). Big Ron's little brother joined the U's on loan from Oxford United in the 1963-64 season and over two spells scored 24 league goals in 45 matches from midfield. He was United's top scorer of 1964-65 when he was finally recalled by Oxford in December 1964, and he went on to notch 77 more in a total of 325 games for the 'other' U's until his departure in 1973, most of them in the same team as his brother. He went on to join Ron at Kettering, and in April 1976 they held a benefit match for him against a Cambridge United side which had now joined Oxford in the Football League. The Poppies won 3-0.
Soundtrack of the Day
Airborne Toxic Event 'Happiness Is Overrated'
Parky's Pick of the Pops
Andy Parkinson lends an ear to the Wembley sounds. "All right, lads and lasses? I was made up when I knew I'd get to review the music at the home of English football, like. It wasn't easy though - that sound system is all booming bass and thudding drums, ey! I could make out Kasabian (good stuff), Kula Shaker (erm... not so good), Kylie (all right, like), Green Day (not bad) and Black Eyed Peas (one word: cack!). At least Sam Sparro's 'Black and Gold' almost got our colours right, and you can't beat a good old sing-song and a punky pogo to Sham 69's 'If The Kids Are United'! But what was that opera singer all about, eh? If I want to see some karaoke, I'll go down the boozer, knoworrimean? I'll give it all a PPP rating of 6/10. Never walk alone, you lot, we'll be back next year."
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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