U's 0-0 Altrincham: Second, best
Sunday 26th April 2009 - U's 0-0 Altrincham: Second, best
The last game of the season is like the last day of summer term. The sun is shining with the promise of weeks of leisure to come, everyone who has been missing for half of the year mysteriously turns up for once, and there is a gloriously carefree atmosphere that seems to infect one and all. And, of course, you can bring games in: I brought Connect 4 and Ker-Plunk, myself.
Sometimes, however, there is still something riding on that last game, and although that atmosphere is still there in the background, other factors evince different shades. Who could forget the tension of two years ago against Tamworth, when United needed a point to be sure of avoiding relegation to Conference South and probable oblivion? Or four years ago, when we all had to brace ourselves for the most mournful of all leaving dos as we said goodbye to the Football League?
Happily, this Sunday was an altogether more upbeat affair, albeit still laced with a hint of tension and expectation. In that respect it was reminiscent of the final day of the 1990-91 season. United had clinched promotion from Division Three by defeating Bradford on the Tuesday, but lay two points behind Southend going into the last game. In front of a crowd of 9,023, goals from Steve Claridge and Lee Philpott inside the first half hour gave the U's a decisive lead over Swansea, but they needed Brentford to do them a favour at Roots Hall; and just after the interval they did just that, Marcus Gayle giving them a 1-0 lead that they held on to until the finish. Against all the odds, United had won the title by a point, and they lifted a replica trophy because the original was at Southend. Claridge celebrated by tipping a bucket of cold water over John Beck's head.
It seemed a lot to expect a similar turn of events on Sunday, albeit one could see Burton stumbling again at Torquay, due to the five-goal turnaround that would be required; but it was a tantalising, just-about-achievable target that the U's just had to go for, secure in the knowledge that the consolation prize of a playoff place was already in the bag.
The sun streamed down on that most beautiful of sights, a packed Abbey Stadium, all four sides roaring their welcome; regulars, irregulars, occasionals and the merely curious bedecked in black and amber and ready for a celebration of a season that could yet turn into the wildest party seen in these parts since old Gladys' 90th in the Supporters Club in February.
Our Gary made no change to the side which won at Salisbury last week, keeping Andy Parkinson at wide left, although Courtney Pitt was able to return to the bench in place of Jon Challinor. Visitors Altrincham were in a celebratory mood of their own, having finished above the relegation zone for the first time in four seasons, in a very creditable fifteenth.
The Robins, however, were not feeling charitable and lined up in a defensive, spoiling formation with only one man, Chris Denham, up front, and they started timewasting with ten minutes of the start.
United kicked off and, for what seemed like the first time this season, they did not immediately hoof the ball out of play down the left. Instead the ball was played to Chris Holroyd, who sent Robbie Willmott scurrying down the right, and within a minute the hosts had their first corner, keeper Stuart Coburn claiming Robbie's flag-kick.
It was all United in the early stages as they went for Alty hell-for-leather (or, for you vegans, hell-for-tofu). Jai Reason found Scott Rendell's head on 5, but he nodded over the top, and Wayne Hatswell rose to meet Willmott's corner three minutes later, but the visitors' massed ranks held firm.
The U's really should have taken the lead on 10, however, when another wickedly curling Willmott flag-kick found Rendell leaping almost under the crossbar, but somehow he managed to guide his header over the top again to almost deafening groans from all four sides of the Abbey. An early lead, and who knows what might have happened.
Burton's game at Torquay had, mysteriously, kicked off several minutes later than United, and when the news came through that Marc Goodfellow had given the Brewers the lead in the eighth minute there, a conspiracy of silence throughout the ground ensured that the bad tidings did not reach the players.
United continued to pound the Alty goal, Holroyd crossing for Rendell who saw his shot booted off the line, then what could only be described as a Mexican roar spread swiftly through the crowd, heralding the fact that dear old Chris Hargreaves had equalised for Torquay. Come on! You can DO this!
Denham had been battling alone up front for the visitors and this aggressive little fellow certainly had a bee in his bonnet about something, lunging and snarling around like a cross between Paul Dickov and a Rottweiler with PMT, but he also had a predilection for tumbling to the floor under the slightest challenge; thankfully the ref, the magnificently named Jock Waugh, showed no interest in his penalty appeal upon being tackled by Hatswell on 18, although by rights he should have been booked for his dishonesty.
Altrincham did threaten the goal a minute later, however, when Warren Peyton's splendid long-ranger was palmed acrobatically over the bar by a diving Danny Potter. Back came the U's, keeper Stuart Coburn almost handing a Reason cross to Chris Holroyd on 23, and when Reason was fouled by Matt Doughty, Hatswell stepped up to take the free-kick but saw his low blaster blocked by the Robins' number one.
A minute later Denham picked up the yellow card for which he had seemed to be playing when he was penalised for a petulant shove on Hatswell, but up the other end United's early hurricane appeared to blown itself out as Alty's game plan to weather the early storm then smother the hosts began to bear fruit.
The U's were not helped by a rather lopsided formation, right-footer Parkinson never looking comfortable out on the left and frequently drifting inside lost-sheepishly, and the hard-working visitors concentrated on denying the hosts space and time in midfield and forcing them to try an increasing number of hopeful longer balls instead of playing it through the middle or down the flanks.
United enjoyed another couple of corners on 34 but could not muster a decisive touch in the box, while Denham seemed to have irritated the linesman as well as 99% of the crowd with his attitude, judging by the number of times he was flagged offside. He did manage one shot on 38, controlling a high ball then nipping between Hatswell and Phil Bolland, but Potter saved his shot with relative ease.
The remainder of the half passed with increasing frustration for U's players and supporters alike as the team struggled, not for the first time this season, to break down a blanket defence, no-one seeming able to produce that spark of inspiration needed, and honours remained even both at the Abbey and Plainmoor at the interval. The party, like a flight to Mexico, remained on hold pending further developments.
Our Gary recognised that Parkinson's contribution had been negligible in his square-peg position and replaced him with Courtney Pitt for part two. The little wing wizard took the first corner of the half within a couple of minutes of the restart, but first shot went to our friend from the North, Denham, who drew a tip around the post from Potter on 51.
Dale Johnson then headed wide for the emboldened visitors, but then came the news that Elliot Benyon had given Torquay the lead in Devon and the tidal roar rolled around the Abbey again. The miracle was still on.
A fine run by Anthony Tonkin on 55 culminated in a cross to Rendell, but he nodded straight at Coburn, then two minutes later another wicked curling Willmott corner (where have those been all season?) saw Coburn catch under his own bar but fall over the line; the ref's whistle sounded, inevitably, for a foul by Hatswell.
Bolland saw yellow a minute later thanks to Denham's theatrical acrobatics. United persevered and on 62 a superb run to the byline from Holroyd climaxed in a pull-back which found Reason with the goal at his mercy ten yards out; however he took an eternity to get the ball under control, and although his eventual shot was powerful, it was tipped over by Coburn when Jai really should have given the keeper no chance at all. Our pal Jock showed he should have gone to Specsavers (other opticians are available) by awarding a goal-kick, most blatantly obvious reffing error of the season.
Denham was finally replaced by Joe O'Neill before he could pick up another card, and on 66 Gleeson rampaged into the area but spooned his shot wildly into the car park. Two minutes later Pitt's ball found Hatswell clear on the edge of the box, and his power shot looked goalbound all the way until brilliantly saved by Coburn. Just what we needed, another Mark Tyler...
Hatswell got his head to Pitt's corner but could only guide it narrowly wide, to more howls of frustration from the amber hordes, then Our Gary really went for broke by introducing a third striker, Danny Crow, although his decision to withdraw Hatswell, surely United's most dangerous attacking defender with head and foot, was a little surprising. Crow settled into a role just behind the front two.
United continued to huff and puff but with gradually decreasing levels of belief. Willmott tangled with Doughty in the corner on 73 when he tried to get the ball for a quick throw-in and both players were carded, then Rendell headed wide again from the winger's cross, United's top scorer seeming to have mislaid his ability to head the ball with any accuracy today.
Still the hosts attacked gamely as the visitors resisted resolutely. A couple of corners were followed by a Crow shot on 81 which Coburn palmed away, then Reason advanced down the middle but, in common with many of his colleagues on the day, tried to burst the net rather than placing the ball and his shot flew wildly over.
A minute later the U's not only went for broke, they went for shattered into a million tiny pieces then squashed by an industrial crusher, by withdrawing Reason and introducing Lee Phillips to leave themselves with three defenders, one midfielder, two wingers and four strikers on the pitch. Alty responded by bringing on an extra defender, Chris Lane, in place of Colin Little.
It was all getting a little desperate for harum-scarum United now, and the NRE recognised the impossibility of their task by revising their chant from "We're going up with Gary Brabin" to the rather more prosaic old favourite "Wem-ber-lee." The trouble with such ad-hoc formations is that there is precious little organisation about them and, as a result, they tend to founder against a well-drilled defence.
Pitt's cross set Phillips up for a bullet header on 85, tremendously blocked by Coburn, but the offside flag was already up. Crow blazed hopefully over, then Ben Wilkinson replaced Johnson for the visitors. With time running out, Crow fired over again - at least he wasn't afraid to shoot - and Bolland headed a Willmott corner wide, but it just was not to be. Nil-nil.
Credit to Alty, who played their last game of the season as if it were their first, and credit to United, who despite initial disappointment today should be patting themselves on the back for almost clawing back a 21-point deficit and becoming the last side left to challenge Burton for the championship this season. It really has been a fantastic effort, and who would not have taken another second place after the tumultuous close season of 2008?
Now another challenge awaits, one which is very much surmountable as long as the team - and the fans - have faith in their own ability and play to their very best. The dream is still with us; just believe. School isn't out yet.
Statto Corner
Today's goalless draw was United's fourth of the season, following stalemates at York and Torquay plus at home to Rushden. That equals the total of last season, which also comprised two at home and two away. By contrast, United's first two seasons in the Conference yielded just one 0-0 each, at Gravesend (2005-06) and at St Albans (2006-07). The U's were involved in seven goalless draws in their last season in the Football League, including their last two home games, against Rochdale and Notts County.
United's total points tally of 86 exactly equals that of last season and remains their highest ever, first achieved in the Division Three championship term of 1990-91. Before 1981-82, only two points were awarded for a win, and the 65 they amassed in winning Division Four in 1976-77 would have amounted to 91 should a victory have yielded three points in those days.
United's home record of 14 wins, 6 draws and 3 defeats is also the same as last season, as is their home goal difference of 19, although it was 36-17 in 2007-08 and 34-15 this term. Away from home, their goals for and against were exactly the same - 32 to 24 - but this season they won 10,10, drew 8 and lost 5, while previously they won 11, drew 5 and lost 7. Their overall defensive record of 39 goals conceded was the second best in the league, behind the 37 of Kettering Town. Their goals-for tally, however, was bettered by eight teams, including eighteenth-placed Forest Green, who scored 70 but conceded 76.
Burton's Conference-winning total of 88 points is the lowest since Barnet clinched it with 86 in 2004-05, tallies since then being 91 (Accrington), 95 (Dagenham & Redbridge) and 101 (Aldershot). Hereford were unlucky enough to finish runners-up with 91 points in 2003-04, one behind Chester, and they also finished second in the following two seasons until they finally got through the playoffs at the third consecutive attempt in 2006.
Altrincham were promoted to the Conference via the playoffs in 2004-05, and this is the first season in which they have not finished in a relegation place. However, they avoided demotion last term due to Halifax being expelled, in 2006-07 due to Boston being handed a double relegation from the Football League to Conference North, and in 2005-06 despite finishing bottom of 22 due to Canvey Island's resignation and Scarborough's liquidation.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Never majorly troubled.
Gleeson 7. Decent effort, if a little wasteful at times.
Hatswell 7. Commanding as ever and something of a surprise when he was withdrawn.
Bolland 8. Mr Reliability.
Tonkin 7. Quiet first half but combined well with Pitt in the second when the winger was introduced ahead of him.
Willmott 7. Produced some splendid corners, although still dispossessed too often and too easily in open play.
Carden 9. A captain's performance.
Reason 8. Encouraging signs of a return to form.
Parkinson 6. Out of position and out of sorts on the left wing and no surprise when he was withdrawn.
Holroyd 8. Kept Alty occupied with his usual pace and movement.
Rendell 7. His earlier season form remains something of a memory and must improve his finishing and overall contribution for the playoffs.
Pitt 7. Not at his vintage best, but a lively presence.
Crow 7. Played fairly deep but made a good contribution and if his shooting was wayward, at least he wasn't afraid to have a go.
Phillips 6. On too late to make any impression in a by then chaotic formation.
Match Summary
The impossible dream was smothered by Altrincham's pillow of dogged defensiveness on a day of frustration for United, but they should go into the playoffs proud of another second place and a club record-equalling points tally after a season that has turned out so much better than we might have expected ten months ago.
Man of the Match
Paul Carden. Led by example throughout with a tireless and committed display which merited better reward.
Ref Watch
Waugh 6. Curate's egg of a performance from Big Jock. Kept the game flowing well, and was especially good at giving advantage then pulling play back when necessary. But did not crack down sufficiently on Altrincham's timewasting, nor on the blatant diving of their forwards whenever they felt the presence of an United defender behind them.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"Fear should not come into it as we should believe in ourselves." [Portsmouth, 17/4/92]
Hello... Goodbye
Today's birthday boy is Andy Lomas (1965). A journeyman non-League goalkeeper with Stevenage, Barnet and Chesham amongst others, he filled in twice for United in the absence of Jon Sheffield in March 1995, and did a decent job in a 3-1 win at Chester and a goalless home draw with Orient. He was out again, however, when Sheffield returned from injury, and soon moved on to Rushden, Boreham Wood, St Albans then Bedford. It seems United's manager of the time, Gary Johnson, perhaps considered him too old to start a career in the Football League. Within a couple of weeks, he had been sacked with United 19th in Division Two, but Tommy Taylor could not keep the U's up and they became the first team to be relegated after finishing fifth from bottom due to reorganisation in the leagues above them.
Not that the absence of Andy Lomas made any difference. Probably.
On this day in 2003 two players made their debuts for United in a disastrous 5-0 defeat at Wrexham: Jonathan Heathcote and Lloyd Opara. Heathcote, no relation to the more illustrious Mick, was a left-back youth product who made only one further first team appearance before being released and drifting into local non-League football.
Opara was a former Colchester striker who lasted a little longer at the Abbey but failed to make the long-term grade, scoring once (in a 3-0 win at Cheltenham) in ten appearances, although nine of them were from the bench. Since then he has enjoyed a nomadic career which has seen him dip in and out of League and non-League football, including spells at Peterborough, Swindon and Yeovil and, remarkably, a trial at Chelsea, but he was last sighted at the mighty Broxbourne Borough. He is still only 25 years old.
This day in 1994 saw the last game in United colours for one of the stalwarts of the early Nineties legends, Michael Cheetham, in an extraordinary 5-4 home defeat by Huddersfield. He had followed his father into the Army but was bought out of the forces by Colchester, who spotted him playing for Basingstoke. United took him on loan in October 1989 and won the first five games in which he played, and a permanent transfer soon followed as Cheetham became an integral part of John Beck's two-winger system opposite Lee Philpott, beating full-backs for pace and crossing for the twin towers of Dion Dublin and John Taylor.
In all he played 165 games for the U's over five seasons, scoring 27 times, but his greatest claim to fame was scoring the fastest ever League goal by a U's player after 21 seconds in a 2-1 win at Peterborough on 21st April 1990. The only player to score a faster one for United was Torquay's Pat Kruse, an own goal six seconds after kick-off at Plainmoor in January 1977. Cheetham went on to play for Chesterfield and Colchester and ended up as player-assistant manager at Sudbury.
Soundtrack of the Day
The Leisure Society 'A Short Weekend Begins With Longing'
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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