Saturday 14th March 2009 - U's 4-1 Northwich: Cutting to the Chase
"It's 106 miles to Chicago, we got a tank full of gas, half a pack of cigarettes, it's dark, and we're wearing sunglasses." "Hit it!"
You can't beat a good car chase. From the cop car-crushing lunacy of the Blues Brothers to the manic intensity of The French Connection, from the sheer spectacle of Mad Max 2 to the utter cool of Bullitt, from the terror of Duel to the feelgood factor of the Italian Job, it is always inadvisable to watch a film with a good old tear-up immediately prior to taking the wheel oneself because the temptation to just put your foot down and roar through the streets as if the whole of the LAPD is on your tail is pretty irresistible.
United's increasingly exciting pursuit of Burton Albion may not quite (yet) carry the scenery-chewing aggression of Gene Hackman or the icy determination of Steve McQueen - and I'm certainly not suggesting that anyone straps on Lord Humungous' studded leather jockstrap - but there is now a distinct air of excitement when score flashes come in from the league leaders' matches and, yes, they are losing again. Their lead has been cut from fifteen points to five in just two weeks and, games in hand notwithstanding, it is a darned sight more exciting than giving up the chase and just aiming for the playoffs. We had enough of that last year.
Northwich Victoria were the opponents for United's last game of the regular season in April, and for our first game of this term, and the Vics' euphoria at an unlikely escape from relegation that we saw at the time has long since been replaced by the gloom of another dour struggle at the wrong end of the table, against a background of financial chaos so shambolic it's a surprise that the government hasn't nationalised the club along with the banks.
The Vics' latest (caretaker) manager is old pro Andy Preece, who has thus far presided over a goalless draw at Barrow and a 1-0 home defeat by Stevenage. Their unexpected 2-1 victory at Kidderminster last month came off the back of a run of fifteen games without a win, and their survival this season would be even more miraculous than that of last season, under the stewardship of Dino Maamria.
Their starting line-up did not look especially inspiring, a mixture of unknowns and journeymen like Lee Elam and Jeff Whitley, a couple of giants at the back in Danny Meadowcroft and Matt Bailey, and club legend Jonny Allan partnered up front by former Chasetown striker and graphic designer Kyle Perry, a hulking type who played like Jon Parkin without the subtlety and balletic grace.
There were no changes to the United side - no surprises there- and thankfully Chris Holroyd had recovered from his own personal Red Nose Day on Tuesday to resume his dangerous partnership with Scott Rendell. Sub Andy Parkinson was in a good mood when they announced Liverpool's 4-1 battering of Man U while the players were warming up, spraying his bottled water around as if it were a F1 driver's champagne.
United made a pretty champagne start to the match, too, forced to attack the NRE in the first half and laying early siege to the Northwich goal, mainly through wingers Robbie Willmott and Courtney Pitt, and using Holroyd and Rendell's pace and mobility to unsettle the visitors' ponderous, skyscraping back line.
Within a minute Holroyd had forced keeper Ryan Clarke into a hurried clearance from which Pitt crossed for Rendell to head wide, and on 3 another ball into the box gave the United number 9 the opportunity to try a spectacular overhead kick, just off target.
The U's remained on the offensive, Willmott crossing to Phil Bolland on 5 whose header was palmed out by a diving Clarke, then Dan Gleeson fired goalward and Clarke clutched gratefully. The Vics, however, stood firm against the hosts' early barrage and even forced the first corner on 8, while five minutes later Elam drew a good save from a full-stretch Danny Potter with a long-range blaster while United were distracted with Holroyd lying prone after a heavy tackle.
Ref Martin's laissez-faire attitude was another feature of the first half, the man in black seeming unwilling to stop play despite bodies falling everywhere, quite a refreshing attitude in comparison with many refs at this level, although there did appear to be a case for a free-kick or two on occasion.
Holroyd and Willmott were most prominent for United, their pace and mobility causing Vics all sorts of problems, while the visitors resisted stoutly if uncompromisingly, although the advisability of playing for a point when fifteen points adrift with twelve games left was somewhat questionable. But hey, this was Fortress Abbey, the Wembley of the Fens...
Michael Aspin's foul on Holroyd brought the U's a free-kick opportunity on 23 not far outside the box, but they wasted it with an overly intricate set piece which involved Jai Reason tapping it to Pitt, who tapped it to Willmott to shoot, by which time they had given the wall ample time to rush out and charge it down almost as soon as it had left Robbie's boot. Back to the coaching manual with that one.
It was Holroyd's pace, however, which brought United the lead on 25. Paul Carden gained possession in the centre circle and pinged a superb ball over the top for Holroyd to scurry onto; he easily outpaced his marker and slotted coolly home from the edge of the box. Very neat: 1-0.
There was another blow for the visitors when their skipper Matty Crowell had to limp off on 28, to be replaced by Joel Byrom. And a minute later it got still worse. Holroyd broke down the middle, found Pitt and his magnificent curling cross was cleared for a corner by a sprawling Bailey's head.
Carden lifted the flag-kick to Bolland, whose header cannoned off the bar, it rebounded to the edge of the area where Hatswell smashed a shot goalward, Clarke made a spectacular parry on his goal-line, but there was poacher supreme Rendell to turn it in. 2-0.
It looked now as if it was simply a matter of how many United would score against very limited opposition. Carden sent Holroyd away again, Vics unable to contain him, but this time Clarke was equal to his shot. And on 36 Our Gary's prescient warning that 2-0 was a dangerous lead was proven sage when the visitors pulled one back.
Bolland was penalised for a foul on Perry out on Northwich's left, and when Luke Joyce curled his free-kick into a crowded box, no-one was more surprised than him to see it bounce and trundle through a sea of bodies, avoiding everyone until it nestled almost apologetically in the far corner of the net. 2-1.
The BBC preposterously described it as a 'superb strike' - presumably they were also impressed by Man United's brilliant defending against the Scousers - but if Northwich thought they had found a foothold back into the game, they stumbled into a pothole again two minutes later.
It was a beautiful goal by United, full of quick interpassing which carved the Vics' defence to wafer-thin slices: Willmott beat his man down the right, slipped it forward to Holroyd, and his pinpoint cross into the middle saw Rendell ghost through the statuesque back four to slide comfortably home from close range past an aghast and exposed Clarke. Normal service is resumed: 3-1.
This time the visitors has no answer, although their tackling became increasingly, ahem, robust as their frustration grew. The ref was finally obliged to abandon his hands-free approach on 41 when Allan booted the ball away after fouling Gleeson, and he found his way into the previously empty book.
That was that for a satisfactory first half against opposition which was willing enough but chronically lacking in quality in every department; their only escape route this season will be if four clubs go bust before they do. Then it was straight to the handheld radio, or Internet-enabled phone if you're a flash sort, and the news was almost expected: Burton, so far unbeaten at home this season, nil, Salisbury 2. Double agent McFarland is doing a fine job there.
Northwich re-emerged for part two with jaws set, determined to avoid a pummelling, and United obliged with a fairly laid-back start. The tackles were still flying, though, and Byrom was next to see yellow on 55 for clattering Reason. The visitors went on to gain two corners in quick succession as the amber army fretted that United had taken their collective foot off the gas just a little early, but their defence held firm with little difficulty.
Joyce was next into the book on the hour for his challenge on Carden, and the United skipper responded with a fine run down the middle which culminated in a powerful shot which was blocked by Meadowcroft. Willmott prodded wide on 64 then Vics introduced Jamie Mullan in place of Whitley. Carden fired a shot over then United gained a corner, but Our Gary recognised that the game needed a lift before it petered out into a black hole of nothingness and on 73 brought on Parkinson in place of Pitt, Willmott switching to the left wing.
Within a couple of minutes Carden had crossed to the right where Parkinson controlled then unleashed a tremendous angled shot that Clarke had to be alert to beat away at his near post. Jon Challinor then came on in place of Reason, who looked disappointed to be withdrawn but was only being rested for the long trip to Barrow on Tuesday.
Northwich gained a free-kick in a promising position on 77 when Carden was harshly judged to have fouled Perry, who looked to have been felled by nothing more than gravity on his vast bulk, but Byrom's effort was shanked hopelessly over the top.
The half got the lift it need on 80 when Anthony Tonkin threw long into the box, there was a scramble in the six-yard box, and there was Parkinson to ram home for his first league goal for United and his first at the Abbey since that classic lob against Everton in pre-season, ample reward for all the tremendous work he has done to get back to fitness after that injury at - where else - Northwich in August.
Elam fired wide for the visitors, then Holroyd was withdrawn to the relief of the Vics defence to be replaced by Danny Crow on 83. Luke Horrocks then came on for Elam, but United finished the game on top. Ryan Brown was carded for a nasty, cynical foul on Parkinson as added time beckoned, and the latter was obliged to leave the field to replace his shirt because he had got a little blood on it.
When he did return, in a numberless shirt, he immediately gained possession on halfway then sprinted for goal, his run culminating in a fine shot-cum-lob which Clarke caught well. Then it was all over, a routine second half following a decent first in which United had done what they had had to against inferior opposition with the maximum of efficiency and the minimum of fuss. And yes, Burton had lost their unbeaten home record, 2-1. The chase is on. Strap yourselves in, this could be an exciting ride. Cigarettes and sunglasses optional...
Statto Corner
Today was the third occasion on which United have hit four goals this season, following the home wins over Salisbury (4-0) in December and Woking (4-1) in January. They have not scored five since the 5-0 drubbing of Droylsden in January 2008. The last time they notched four goals away from home was even longer ago, on 25th March 2007, in a 4-0 win at... Northwich.
The Vics have become one of United's favourite opponents over the last few years. The clubs had never met until the 2006-07 season, and Northwich won both of their first two meetings in Cheshire, 1-0 in the Conference and 2-0 in the FA Cup. Since then, however, it has been victory for the U's all the way: 4-0, 2-1, 2-0, 1-0 and now 4-1.
Today's attendance was 2,662. The only previous time this exact figure was recorded at the Abbey was in the Southern League on 8th September, 1969, when the U's won 2-0 with goals from Dennis Walker and Bill Cassidy. Their opponents? None other than Burton Albion...
New Northwich caretaker manager Andy Preece is no stranger to the Abbey. He has played here for Wrexham (1990), Stockport (1993), Bury (2003) and Carlisle (2004). In eight games home and away, however, he only scored against United twice, and that in the same match, in a 3-1 victory for Stockport at Edgeley Park in August 1993. 6'7" giant Kevin Francis got the other for the hosts, while Michael Danzey replied for the U's.
Jeff Whitley seems to have been around for decades, but believe it or not he is still only thirty years old. He had never played against the U's before today, unlike his elder brother Jim, who faced United four times for Wrexham and once for Northampton Town.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Made some decent saves in the first half and was always in control in the second.
Gleeson 7. Solidly reliable.
Bolland 8. A rock at the back and a major threat up front with his head.
Hatswell 8. Delivered as usual.
Tonkin 8. Combined well with Pitt down the left.
Willmott 8. A constant menace to Northwich with his pace and crossing.
Carden 8. Ran the show.
Reason 8. Not at his very best, but more than good enough to overcome the Vics.
Pitt 8. Useful going forward and provided some decent cover tackling back, too.
Holroyd 9. Outstanding.
Rendell 8. A goalscoring record which is nothing short of phenomenal.
Parkinson 8. Improving with every match and got a deserved first BSP goal.
Challinor 7. Slotted in reliably for the last fifteen minutes.
Crow 6. On for less than ten minutes when the game was effectively already over.
Match Summary
Ruthless United polished feeble Northwich off in the first half then cruised through the second to increase the pressure on Burton. Most encouragingly, the forward players are starting to score goals for fun; here's to a lot more fun before the season ends.
Man of the Match
Chris Holroyd. The Vics found him all but unplayable, his pace and movement in a different class to anything they could offer. Splendidly taken goal to boot.
Ref Watch
Martin 6. Let just about everything go in the first half, which is fine up to a point but started to look lackadaisical after a while. Started giving free-kicks in part two for some fairly tame challenges, but the visitors deserved the cards they received as they began to lose patience and their heads as the U's ran rings around them.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"The team who can hold their nerve to the end will stand the best chance." [Port Vale, 25/4/92]
Hello... Goodbye
Today's birthday boy is John Philliben (1964). A Scottish youth international centre-back, Doncaster paid £70,000 to take him from Stirling Albion in 1984, but he failed to live up to his early promise and after seven games on loan to the U's in late 1985/early 1986, he returned to Scotland with Motherwell and eventually ended up back where started at Stirling.
Canadian international striker Gordon Sweetzer made his United debut on this day in 1978 in a 1-0 defeat at Rotherham, after his £30,000 purchase from Brentford, for whom he scored 40 goals in 72 appearances. Unfortunately his stay at the Abbey was plagued by injury; after three goals in eight matches, he missed the rest of the season and the whole of 1978-79, and after one more appearance in October 1979, he departed to his home country and Toronto Blizzard. He briefly reappeared in the UK for Brentford again, scoring once in nine games in the second half of the 1981-82 season, before returning once again to Canada for Edmonton Drillers.
Colin Bailie played his last game for the U's on this day in 1992, in a 2-1 away win at Bristol City. A right-back converted to a reliably chugging central midfielder, he could not hide his distaste for John Beck's midfield-bypassing Route One tactics, and after 157 appearances and three goals for United, he packed up professional football at the age of 28 and following a brief spell with Eynesbury Rovers, he joined the Cumbrian police force. He may not have been one of the club's best ever players, but was certainly its most principled.
Soundtrack of the Day
Bob Mould "I'm Sorry Baby, But You Can't Stand In My Light Any More"
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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