Histon 1-1 U's: Hats off to Wayne
Monday 2nd March 2009 - Histon 1-1 U's: Hats off to Wayne
"If you want entertainment, go and watch clowns." Those were the words of the eternally dour manager Alan Durban after his super-defensive Stoke City side had ground out a dismal 0-0 draw at Arsenal in September 1980.
Sometimes this 'beautiful game' of ours scrubs off all of its make-up, dons a scruffy pair of dungarees, picks its nose and, fixing us with a defiant gaze, spits "What you see is what you get, pal!" Every United supporter of a certain age remembers the Golden Age of Beck in the early Nineties when his Route One stormtroopers rampaged through the divisions on a seemingly unstoppable march on the Premier league. It was fun while it lasted.
But towards the end of that 1991-92 season, one would have to admit that it became a little, well, boring. The team played mechanically, with no thought given to flair or finesse, just a breathless, physical grinding down of the opposition. And once the opposition had sussed the team's predictability and planned accordingly, many a match became a tedious spectacle of watching eleven men banging their heads against the same wall, again and again. United won only two of their last ten League games, lost in the playoffs to Leicester and the rest, sadly, is history.
Now Becky is trying to do it again, at a club infinitely smaller than the U's he first took sole charge of in January 1990. But this team is even less sophisticated; its game is all about frantic physicality and running, a kick-and-rush side banging the ball long down the middle for its strikers to barge onto, or hoisting it down the flanks so its wide men can head it inside or gain a free-kick or throw-in from which it has the best statistical chance of creating a goalscoring opportunity (POMO), from set pieces which have been practiced time after time after time. Entertaining it is not; effective it is, at this level at least.
But this Histon team has no-one of the quality or promise of a Dion Dublin, a Steve Claridge, a Lee Philpott, an Alan Kimble, a Richard Wilkins, or a Phil Chapple. They have their clones, the barnstorming target man, the left-back with the sweet left foot and the long throw, the mercurial wide men, the lungbusting midfielders. But like the early Nineties U's before them, their undeniably phenomenal run will eventually end. And when it does, as all things do, and they are still playing the same barely watchable 'football' in which the ball spends most of its time sailing through the air, the novelty will wear off, and the king will be in the altogether. We know; we have seen it all before.
But let us permit the good burghers of the village to enjoy their time in the sun while they can; we did. They have worked for it, and they deserve it. It has taken United (club and supporters) a long time to adjust to the concept, then reality, of Histon as credible footballing rivals, but the league table does not lie and they are there on merit. This is serious!
One unfortunate side effect of the villagers' rise through the ranks is that the team has consistently outrun the club's infrastructure, despite their best efforts to upgrade their still basic facilities. And at no time is this more thoroughly exposed than when they play their new local rivals.
Histon's decision to reverse the match's original all-ticket status backfired spectacularly as they disastrously underestimated the level of United support. They should have based their projections on last season's league game and the clubs' first meeting in the Trophy of 2006, when the fixture was still a novelty, and not the last two Trophy matches in which there has been markedly less interest. This was a local derby between two of the top three teams in the Conference, separated by a couple of miles; anyone with an ounce of common sense would have known that of course there was going to be a large crowd.
The queues began forming at the meagre away turnstiles an hour before kickoff and it soon became obvious that the club's admirable but swamped volunteer staff could not cope. They kept running out of change, people were arriving faster than they were being processed, and in desperation they opened a side gate for ticket holders to enter. This immediately drew questions such as how were they being counted? In one harassed steward's head? How accurate was that?
The problems escalated all too predictably, and by kick-off time we were left with the unedifying and frankly unacceptable spectacle of hundreds of United supporters being refused admission to an away end in which there was plenty of room at one end and in the seats, although club staff were conspicuous by their absence from that area, while others were admitted to the home area for an all-too-brief period, thereby storing up conflict for later. If they were refused entrance on the grounds of 'safety,' where was the 'safety' in obliging people to perch precariously en masse on a steep, slippery grass verge, unstewarded, craning uncomfortably for a view of the action? How fortunate that the weather was not more hostile and no-one was seriously hurt.
Bridge Road shows some sign of improvement every time we visit, and this time the seated stand along the far side had been extended to reach all the way to both ends of the pitch. The toilet facilities, however, remain completely inadequate - a smattering of temporary portaloos - and a permanent loo block must be next on Histon's list of priorities.
Most of the noisy amber army congregated in the low-roofed terrace at one end, its view just about adequate, although it felt rather less than secure when supporters starting jumping up and down and shouting in unison and it began to shake and sway and creak rhythmically like a huge Meccano set.
The pitch, at least, looked reasonably playable shorn of the familiar inches of mud we are used to, thanks in part to their having played only three first team games at home since United's Trophy win back on 13th December. The evening was cool but dry and Setanta's cameramen balanced precariously on the roof of the long stand, although with our old chum Steve Evans as pundit for the night, it's a wonder they did not plummet to the ground under the sheer weight.
Our Gary plumped for the 4-4-2 formation which was successful during the second half against Crawley's 'extreme football' team on Saturday, with Robbie Willmott and Courtney Pitt flanking Jai Reason and Paul Carden in the middle ahead of an unchanged back five. There was a surprise up front, however, where Scott Rendell was partnered by former Plymouth, Exeter, Torquay, Rushden and Weymouth striker Lee Phillips, who had signed from the latter earlier in the day.
Chris Holroyd could count himself unlucky to be dropped to the bench, although the attractive array of stud marks down the back of his leg courtesy of one of Crawley's hatchet men may have been a factor. Daryl McMahon did not even make the bench, while Mark Beesley was absent through a hip injury that looks like needing surgery, but there was a place on the plastic for non-contract keeper Aaron Grundy, which should give him something to write about on his website.
The hosts were missing only Nathaniel Knight-Percival in an otherwise full-strength line-up which included former U Josh Simpson and Antonio Murray, son of former United legend Jamie, stationed wide right.
United made their usual start, Carden lofting the ball straight out of play from the kick-off as he always seems to do (I thought it was rugby where you kicked for touch?) and Histon had the first attempt on goal within a minute, Jack Midson nodding Gareth Gwillim's cross wide at the near post. The bustling Phillips had United's first effort a couple of minutes later, firing a bobbler into keeper Danny Naisbitt's chest.
Pitt was presented with an opportunity to repeat his free-kick exploits from the weekend on 7 when Simpson fouled Carden, but this time the little wing wizard's attempt sailed wildly over the stand onto the Recreation Ground behind. Can we have our ball back, please?
The pattern of the match was very soon set. Histon were their usual selves, looking to hoist balls over the top for Midson and Danny Wright to thunder after like a herd of delinquent buffalo, or to whip free-kicks and long throws, courtesy of Gwillim, deep into the United box. But the U's were matching the hosts tackle for tackle, run for run, and if you can match Histon physically, you have laid the foundations to beat them.
It was not exactly the most attractive, flowing spectacle in the world, and was not helped by ref Hendley, who stopped the game almost every time two players came together, totally intolerant of any sort of physical contact. And unlike Crawley, Histon are not an out-and-out dirty, cynical side, just highly committed and motivated; and so were the U's, led by the industrious Carden and Reason in the middle and the veteran twin towers of Wayne Hatswell and Phil Bolland at the back, on their day as good as a centre-back pairing as the black'n'amber has ever seen.
There were some jarring challenges, however, as you would expect, and on 14 Rendell needed treatment after being flattened in an aerial joust with Lanre Oyebanjo and Matt Langston (did you know he is a postman?). The latter received a talking-to from the man in black but was in position to clear Reason's free-kick when it was floated into the box. Return to sender.
The tight, competitive nature of the contest was indicated by the fact that we had to wait 21 minutes for the first corner of the evening; it went to United, but Wright headed Pitt's inswinger clear. The hosts' boot-and-chase tactics bore fruit two minutes later when Wright charged like a runaway bulldozer down the left channel, holding off Hatswell on the way, then slipped it inside to Midson, but under little pressure he slid his shot tamely wide of the far post from fifteen yards out.
In response Willmott broke promisingly down the right but was robbed on the byline before he could cross, but Histon were not dominating as they have in previous encounters and United were giving as good as they got. Just before the half-hour Reason's powerful shot from outside the area was pulled from the air by Naisbitt.
On 33 Reason conceded a free-kick out on the left touchline when adjudged to have fouled Simpson, but Gwillim's free-kick was dealt with by the doughty Cambridge blue-clad defence, and when the ball was swung back in and Simpson lunged studs first at a bouncing ball by way of challenge to Reason, he was adjudged to have done so illegally, possibly by way of retaliation for the previous foul, and he duly became the first man to see yellow.
The match continued at its staccato, whistle-led rhythm, and was surely providing little excitement for the watching millions (ahem) of neutrals watching on t'telly. Willmott produced a rare moment of individual quality on 40 when he beat Jamie Barker, cut inside and fired for goal, but Naisbitt was able to gather, and the only remaining incident of a surprisingly low-key first half came on 44 when Dan Gleeson essayed a long-ranger which was deflected by Rendell to Phillips, but his last-second flick was comfortably caught by the Histon keeper.
So far all the usual drama and controversy of a U's-Histon encounter had been off the pitch, and indeed outside the ground, but the U's faithful gathered on the steep verge overlooking the pitch remained verbal and impeccably cheerful in their support. All that was missing was a chorus of "We're the outside, we're the outside, we're the outside over here" to which we could have responded "We're the inside, we're the inside..."
Rain began to fall during the interval and we inwardly shuddered at the thought of the match degenerating into a plough through the mud like on previous occasions. Thankfully the shower desisted before it could do significant damage to the playing surface.
The U's were first out of the traps in part two and an early Pitt delivery was nodded clear by Langston (he's a postman, you know), and on 49 came the best chance of the evening so far when Hatswell's cross found Bolland twelve yards out and his goalbound header was impressively palmed over the bar by Naisbitt.
Play continued to ebb and flow from end to end; Bolland blocked a Midson shot on 51 and three minutes later Rendell nodded down for Phillips to advance and smash a shot over the angle. Another of those over-the-top balls sent Wright galumphing down the middle, but Danny Potter saw the danger early and dashed from his goal to nod clear, then came booking number two on 56 when Patrick Ada was penalised for a reckless tackle from behind on Phillips.
The amber army was screaming 'Goal' on the hour when the increasingly dangerous Phillips slalomed past two challenges before sliding his shot inches past the far post with Naisbitt nowhere, then it was United's turn for a cardee as Gleeson was cautioned for a foul on Barker.
United had subdued the hosts through hard work and organisation and were undoubtedly on top at this stage. On 67 Anthony Tonkin's long throw (what's good for the goose...) was cleared to Hatswell 30-plus yards out, and he sent a spectacular sighter over the top.
Then up the other end Midson and Potter collided in going for a loose ball, but any home claims for a penalty were fanciful in the extreme, and the U's broke away to gain a corner in front of their own fans. Pitt's flag-kick was punched half-clear to Rendell in the D, he took a touch then steered a superb low shot through a throng of bodies that Naisbitt must have seen late but flung himself low to his right to parry; Willmott latched onto the rebound, but somehow his turn and angled left-footed shot saw the ball bobble agonisingly across the open goal and wide of the far post.
Histon recognised that a change was needed and withdrew the anonymous Barker on 73 in favour of Lee Roache, but a bigger change occurred just a minute later.
Wright fouled Willmott out on the right, Carden arrowed the free-kick in and Rendell sneaked behind the home defence to challenge Naisbitt for the ball; the keeper punched to the edge of his box, Ada flicked on with his head, but it fell to Hatswell 35 yards out. Seeing the exposed goal, the inspirational defender unleashed a superb dipping volley which soared over the scrabbling Naisbitt and landed perfectly in the back of the net. Fantastic strike: 1-0!
Hatswell was duly carded by the jobsworth ref for the nonsensical crime of 'over-celebrating', but no-one cared and United now looked set for their second win of the season in Impington and their first league win there since 1939; they had drawn the hosts' sting, Histon looking devoid of inspiration against the visitors' stout opposition.
But that would be to underestimate them, a crime of which so many of their opponents have been guilty over the last few years; because as we know, this lot keep right going to the bitter end.
And on 79 they came oh-so-close to levelling the scores when Midson found Murray in the right channel and his scudder of a shot across goal cannoned off the foot of the far post with Potter beaten. Hatswell blocked Wright's follow-up. It was not over yet by a long chalk.
Oyebanjo was next into the book for upending Pitt on 80, then a minute later had a free-kick touched to him by Gwillim, but his attempted curler for the near post was well wide. But Histon were slowly turning the screw and on 85 Gleeson conceded a foolish free-kick in challenging Wright out on the right. Gwillim arced the free-kick into the box, an apparently offside-looking Langston (have I mentioned he's a postman?) headed for goal, and instead of catching it or tipping it over, Potter could only paw it onto the bar; the predatory Midson swooped and rammed home the equaliser from close range. A quintessentially Histonian goal: 1-1.
This was a signal for the traditional bombardment of free-kicks and crosses from the hosts in the last few minutes, as they demonstrated just why they have scored so many last-minute goals this season. But United held firm, with Hatswell and Bolland outstanding, Histon's best chance a Murray screamer heading for the top left corner until Reason headed heroically away.
United even broke away during the three added minutes and the last corner of the match was theirs. Perhaps timing is how they hung on: Histon's winning goal is traditionally timed at 90+5 or 90+6 so to concede only three added minutes by cunningly not making any subs was their undoing.
Of course the real reason the U's gained a deserved draw in a match in which they were the better team overall was down to matching their hosts' physical game, then playing the better football once that base camp had been established. Before kick-off a draw would have been perfectly acceptable, so the twinge of disappointment felt by the amber army at having lost two points late on should be seen as a positive sign: we've got Histon's number now. And if we end up having to play them again this season, we will have nothing to fear whatsoever. Let's just hope it will be better organised next time!
Statto Corner
Lee Phillips became the third player of that surname to play for the U's. Vic played six times for United in the 1950s, and winger Peter scored thirteen goals in 53 games after signing from Luton in March 1971.
We have seen Lee before, though; he has played against United seven times, scoring four goals. He first popped up for Plymouth in 1998-99, both home and away as a teenager, then reappeared on our radar in October 2005 when he scored one of Exeter's goals in a 4-0 pasting at St James' Park. He also notched in the return that season, but this time was on the losing side, 2-1. He was back the season after, grabbing a brace in a 3-1 win for the Grecians at the Abbey (Jon Challinor got the other) and also played without scoring in the return, a 2-0 defeat for the U's. We last saw him in April last year for Torquay when United beat the Gulls 2-0 at the Abbey to close in on a place in the playoffs.
Phillips is the eighteenth player to be allocated squad number 27, making it the most popular number since they were introduced; next most used are the numbers 20, 25 and 26, all of which have had sixteen different users. Do you really want a list of all of the 27s? Oh all right then. Five of them never even made a competitive first team appearance.
They were: Rob Miller, Darren Howe, Dan Chillingworth, Stephen Jordan, Dave Theobald, Michael Shinn, Gilbert Prilasnig, Dennis Oli, Amadou Konte, Iwan Roberts, Jamie Waite, Liam Norval, Christian Smith, Craig Hughes, Marvin Robinson, Wayne Hatswell, Scott Rendell, and now Lee Phillips.
Today was only the second time this season that United have not used any substitutes; the previous occasion was in the 2-0 home defeat of Wrexham on 6th September.
Player Ratings
Potter 6. Doing fine until his mistake cost United two points for the second time in three days. Chin up son, you've saved more points than you'll ever concede.
Gleeson 7. Decent, hard-working shift.
Bolland 8. Tower of strength again.
Hatswell 9. Stood firm at the back then scored a truly classic goal.
Tonkin 7. Did a reasonable job on Murray, although it kept him from too many forward forays.
Willmott 7. Good, busy performance.
Reason 8. Played with guts as well as finesse.
Carden 8. Tireless worker.
Pitt 8. Splendid contribution along the full length of the left side.
Phillips 8. Understandably took time to settle, but came good in the second half with excellent, positive forward play.
Rendell 8. Worked his socks off all evening.
Match Summary
United slugged it out toe to toe with Histon and their admirable work ethic almost gained them the win it deserved after a classic Wayne Hatswell strike, until a basic goalkeeper's error snatched it away five minutes from time. One to take encouragement from, despite the initial disappointment.
Man of the Match
Wayne Hatswell. Unpassable at the back, scorer of one of THE great United goals up the other end.
Ref Watch
Hendley 6. Any match with Histon is going to be a stop-start affair, but this chap did not help matters with incessant whistling almost every time two players challenged for the ball or jumped together. It's a physical contact sport, old boy.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"The criticism for the 'Cambridge' style is increasing after every match we play. We have been accused of ruining the game and have been the subject of many degrading comments from both the press and managers alike. This criticism does not bother us one bit and in fact spurs us on even more. We play direct attacking football, similar to the style described by the FA as the 'Winning Formula' in their books and videos." [Oxford, 30/11/91]
Hello... Goodbye
The 2nd of March is one of those rare dates on which no former United player was born, made his debut or his last appearance. So let's look at the 3rd instead.
Happy 21st birthday to Michael Morrison, who scored four times in 122 games for United, almost all of them as a teenager, before joining current League 1 table toppers Leicester City, for whom he has become a regular this season in partnership at the back with the equally youthful Liverpool loanee, Jack Hobbs.
Alex 'Aggy' Revell was born on this day in 1974. A rangy striker who was often played out of position out wide but was more frequently a sub, he scored five times in 20 games plus 46 off the bench before his release in 2004. A spell in non-League saw him top the scoring charts with Braintree Town and he was rewarded with a return to the League with Brighton before Southend stunned just about all U's fans by paying £150,000 for him. He has scored four times in 31 matches for the Shrimpers but unfortunately broke his leg at Leyton Orient in January and will be out for six months.
Stephen Jordan is another birthday boy (1982). A left-back signed on loan from Manchester City in October 2002, he played eleven times for the U's and impressed with his coolness and skill, although he did take time to adjust to the frantic pace of lower league football. He is now an established first-teamer at Burnley.
Today's most notorious birthday boy is Devon White (1964). He was signed from Bristol Rovers in March 1992 for £100,000 plus John Taylor, but he never lived up his free-scoring reputation at the Abbey, looking as slow and clumsy as a bewildered Wookie. He scored a grand total of six times for the U's in 28 games before United gratefully accepted £100k for him from QPR, and astoundingly he went on to look impressive for them in the Premier League.
3rd March 2001 saw the U's debut of one the club's fastest-ever players, Omer Riza, in a 2-0 win over Oldham. He scored three times in twelve games on loan from West Ham, then returned on a permanent deal a year later in which he scored another 17 in 52 matches as part of the legendary forward line which also included Dave Kitson, Tom Youngs and Shane Tudor. The London-born striker then took the chance to play in the land of his forbears, Turkey, first for Denzilispor then Trabzonspor, where he made the national team before he fell out with their new manager and got embroiled in a contractual dispute which cost him a four-month ban from the Turkish FA. This means he cannot currently play competitive football at all, but he has returned to the country of his birth for a trial spell at Shrewsbury.
Jamie Barnwell-Edinboro played his last game for United in a 0-0 draw at Macclesfield on this day in 1998. An initially promising striker signed from Coventry, he was the proverbial 'confidence' player and once that went, so did his professional career. United even tried playing him a left-back once in a game at Brighton and he had such a nightmare he was hauled off at half-time. His record on 13 goals in 70 games isn't totally awful, but he has spent most of the last ten years working his way down the leagues in the region of his birthplace, Hull.
Soundtrack of the Day
The Gaslight Anthem 'Great Expectations'
Parky's Pick of the Pops
Andy Parkinson lends an ear to the Glassworld sounds. "All right, lads and lasses? I'm a city boy, me, so visiting a place like Histon is a bit like going to a village fete full of people with six toes on each foot, know what I mean?
"At least the music wasn't all Wurzels and the Singing Postman, ey! It was a right old mixture actually: a bit of Eighties (Duran Duran, Tiffany), vintage soul (James Brown, Eddie Floyd), modern pop like Noah & The Whale (catchy little number, that) and a little bit too much of that dancey stuff that relies on a sample of an old record to make it interesting ('Call On Me') or just copies it with a girlie singer ('Boys of Summer'). Not my cup of tea, like, but I reckon they're more likely to drink cider or Pimm's around there, anyway! Never walk alone!" PPP verdict: 6/10.
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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