Saturday 21st February 2009 - Lewes 0-2 U's: Not dripping but drowning
United's three-and-half-year stint in the fifth tier of English football has certainly provided the travelling fans with some memories, both fair and foul: the unrelenting grimness of Farsley, the rain-lashed End of the World at Canvey Island, the quaint Victoriana of St Albans, the sheer blank nothingness of Salisbury, the warmly welcoming Droylsden, the overwhelming greenness of Northwich, the surrealism of Grays, the back-to-basics charmlessness of Stafford, the cheap'n'cheerful incompleteness of Forest Green. But on Saturday I think I discovered my new favourite away ground.
Eight years ago, Lewes were playing in the Third Division of the Isthmian League. Their rapid rise through the Pyramid has seen their team far outstrip the status of their ground, the fabulously-named Dripping Pan, which has been upgraded as quickly as the club's limited finances allow. But after seeing their delightful venue in all its glory today, I think it is time to give thanks that the team seems to have hit its ceiling and is on its way back down... because any further 'upgrading' could surely only chip away at this unique venue's outstanding character.
Saturday was a glorious day, sunny and reasonably warm, and the amber hordes descended in their hundreds for their first-ever visit to the county town of Sussex, a small, picturesque place with a High Street refreshingly free of the ubiquitous global chains which infest nearly every city these days. A steep, breath-claiming climb from the station was interrupted by a swift pint of the smooth local brew, Harveys, in the Lansdown Arms, a quirky little drinking hole dominated by a white tree in the middle of its floor, then the climb continued as the greetings of the unfailingly cheery and pleasant locals echoed in our ears; their team's precarious state has afforded them a gallows humour of the "Come for an easy three points, then?" variety.
Then it was on to the delightful Brewers Arms, a family-run free house packed to the gunwales with United supporters enjoying splendid beers, delicious food and cheerily sardonic locals while enjoying the dubious pleasures of Aston Villa vs Chelsea on a big screen. The perfect build-up.
The Dripping Pan is just around the corner from the station, set in a rectangular hollow in the ground, a natural amphitheatre whose grassy banks surround the pitch. And what an unique sight it is. Lack of segregation means that spectators can enter from either end of the ground. The home end consists of a five-year-old, decent-sized terrace covered with a quaint roof consisting of a series of semi-circles, with what is left of that end's grass bank to one side and the club house on the other, with a bar on the ground floor, and from the back of which the players were to emerge to trot down a series of grass-covered steps to the pitch.
The opposite ('away') end was built only last year, an uncovered terrace not unlike the one at Grays hewn into the middle of the grass bank, while the only seated stand along one side is only two years old, having replaced a previous wooden structure which lay on top of the bank on that side. But the opposite side remains delightfully untouched: quite simply a vast grass bank, at the top of which is a viewing area behind railings backed by an ancient flint wall which resembles nothing so much as some sort of National Trust heritage walk. It affords a great view of the pitch, although that is now sadly spoilt by three unsightly Setanta TV gantries, all unused, spread along its length.
The whole atmosphere was the polar opposite of the hideous, gigantic corporate palaces which are springing up at the top level of the game, with friendly faces at the top of the 'home' terrace offering raffle tickets, souvenirs and shaking a bucket to induce one to contribute funds to repair the electronic scoreboard in the opposite corner, stuck showing the time at 3:22 with nothing else working at all.
The whole vista was a sight to delight the jaded palate of those who have attended too many dreary, characterless football grounds over recent years, and one wished one could have seen the place in its unspoilt state before 'progress' forced relative modernity upon it. The programme notes about the place noted that no-one seems to know how the place got its name or for what purpose it was originally constructed, although the hollow may have been caused by earth being scraped out to form the mount which overlooks the ground, a huge grassy ball upon which several people perched to watch the match.
The money does appear to have all but run out at The Dripping Pan, with a team of mostly young unknowns, goalposts made from poles painted white then lashed together, and one of the players, Freddie Foreman, sporting a shirt with no sponsors' name on it. The name, by the way, is Magic Man, who urged people in the programme "Don't replace damaged or distasteful goods - Magic Man's repairs can save you a fortune!"
The hosts' team's form could not have been worse: their last twelve games in all competitions have yielded one draw and eleven defeats, and no goals scored in eight of those matches. They failed to win any of their first eleven games, either, finally stopping the rot with a 2-1 victory over Oxford.
Most of the United fans in the crowd of 962, the Rooks' fourth largest attendance of the season, congregated on the 'away' terrace to soak up the sun; oh, and the U's were attacking that end in the first half. Our Gary had understandably made no changes to the side which won at Kidderminster on Tuesday, while there were three familiar faces in the Lewes defence in the forms of grizzled old pros Guy Butters, Danny Cullip and Anthony Barness, only survivor from the Conference South championship winning team of last season which was torn apart almost as soon as it had been presented with the trophy.
United, resplendent in all Cambridge blue against the hosts' red and black stripes, made a decent start, Mark Beesley's subtle through ball almost setting Scott Rendell up with a chance early on, while on 6 Jai Reason's superbly curled cross to the far post found Rendell free to head just wide, but he had in any case been flagged offside.
Anyone, however, expecting a re-run of Tuesday's display of power, pace and precision passing was to be sorely disappointed. Lewes, knocking the ball around fairly well, began to slow the game down to their pace, and United seemed to lack either the will or the wherewithal to impose themselves on the contest, betraying perhaps some degree of complacency against the league's bottom team.
What Lewes lacked in quality they tried to compensate for in workrate, and they gained the first corner on 9, Foreman's kick eventually falling to diminutive winger Stefan Cox to blast over. A couple more corners followed, Cullip winning two headers but unable to guide either one on target.
United's first flag-kick on 14 led only to a breakaway and ensuing corner for the hosts, but Danny Potter remained untroubled. The visitors, however, were signally failing to assert themselves or any sort of tempo on the game, and instead of the slick passing game we were expecting, all too many balls were lazily banged long up towards the strikers' heads, to predictable ineffect.
Chris Holroyd's pace, at least, posed some sort of threat at times, and on 20 he was unceremoniously upended by Barness as he tried to burst past him, the former Chelsea, Charlton and Bolton man picking up the first booking of the day for his opponent's pains. Daryl McMahon took the free-kick from 25 yards out, but his attempt to curl it over the wall resulted in only a curler into the United fans on the terrace.
Lewes continued to plug away gamely while the U's still trailed sluggishly after them, but they had no end product to worry the United defence. The visitors similarly posed little threat to their hosts, the forwards poorly served by those behind them and Beesley looking particularly out of touch, as if he had just washed his boots and couldn't do a thing with them.
Bees did almost wriggle through the middle on 27, to be unceremoniously felled by Cullip just outside the box - second yellow card to Lewes - and this time Jai Reason stepped up to the plate, his craftily flighted spinner sailing over the wall but missing the upright by inches.
Rendell's shot on the half hour was tipped behind by keeper Rikki Banks for a corner, Paul Carden finding Wayne Hatswell's head to nod in, but a free-kick was awarded to the hosts for a push. Lewes responded with two corners of their own, and from the second Potter send Reason galloping across the field then down the left channel to the byline, but his cross was plucked from the air by Banks.
Cox was next into the book on 34 for a silly handball out by the touchline, and McMahon's free-kick was cleverly driven low to the near post where Beesley was ghosting in, but his attempted turn and shot resulted only in a feeble scuff. United continued to huff and puff unconvincingly, Beesley nodding a Reason cross wide, but the flowing football of Tuesday was mysteriously conspicuous by its absence, and the half ground slowly to a rather dreary finish. So far: great weather, nice town, excellent pubs, good people, splendid ground... all spoilt bby a poor football match. It was sorely tempting to break out the crampons and clamber back up to the High Street.
The start of part two brought no appreciable improvement, although by now most of the amber army had trooped to congregate under the covered terrace, which provided much better acoustics for their repertoire of old favourites. Slowly but surely, though, United began to grind their way to domination.
Rendell drew a save from Banks on 51, Holroyd nodded Carden's corner over, and United at least began to string some passes together from time to time. Their pressure grew without actually forcing a further save from Banks, and on 62 Reason was booked somewhat harshly for tangling with Cox.
Next minute the out-of-touch Beesley was predictably replaced by Robbie Willmott, and United switched to 4-4-2 with Robbie on one flank and McMahon on the other. On 68 Reason sent McMahon down the left and he cut inside along the byline, but with several colleagues awaited his cut-back, he spooned his 'cross' horrendously high and wide. Another one who shouldn't have washed his boots.
Two minutes later Courtney Pitt replaced McMahon to leave the visitors with two conventional wingers, Lewes also making their only change as Rhys Darby came on for Michael Standing. Rendell had a shot blocked by the ample Butters, Willmott had a blaster deflected off for a corner, Anthony Tonkin made a trademark slalom run before seeing his shot blocked, then Reason beat two men before sending a curler just past the upright.
On 77 Holroyd had a shot tipped round the post by Banks, although the ref bafflingly awarded a goal-kick, then Holroyd tumbled in the box and was lucky to avoid a card for 'simulation.' Cut it out, Chrissy boy, you don't need to do that. Leave it to the experts like Cristiano Ronaldo.
It had been all United for some time, albeit not producing much to worry Banks, but on 82 Carden surged for goal from the left, cut inside Barness and fell under his challenge. We'll give you that one: penalty!
United had been let off the hook after a pale grey ghost of a performance. Rendell stepped up after some lame attempts at timewasting from Banks, and sent him the wrong way to score confidently. 1-0.
Lewes, for all their spirit, did not have the quality to respond. On 87 Pitt arrowed a corner in from the right and Willmott twisted to avoid his marker and head home from close range. All over: 2-0.
It could have been worse for the hosts when Holroyd raced from his own half onto a ball down the middle, Banks rushed out to meet him and won the ball with an indeterminate part of his torso forty yards from goal. The ref saw no offence.
United retained possession almost at will for the rest of the match, then it was all over. What should have been a routine win had been turned into something of a drama by a lackadaisical attitude from the U's players, especially in the first half, when they seemed to have expected to just turn up to collect the three points. More focus needed next time, please.
Lewes are clearly doomed to go down (previous home game: 2-0 to Wrexham, goals on 80 and 83) but they are at least making a go of it with their chronically limited resources and their followers deserve better than this death by a thousand cuts. And we deserve to be able to visit this likeable town and its delightfully characterful football ground next year. May the Pan drip for ever more. Perhaps more finance-induced relegations will save them; Weymouth 0, Rushden 9 (NINE) anyone...?
Statto Corner
United have now scored a penalty in each of their last three games: one by Chris Holroyd and two by Scott Rendell. It is almost ten years since this last happened: Martin Butler converted spot-kicks versus Millwall (18/9/99), Gillingham (25/9/99) and Preston (2/10/99). The U's drew the middle game 2-2 and lost the others 2-1.
United's run of three consecutive away wins is their best since the last four matches of last season (pre-playoffs), when they triumphed 2-0 at Droylsden, 2-1 at Rushden, 2-0 at Salisbury and 2-0 at Northwich.
Today saw United's first clean sheet of 2009, and their first in eight games, the last coming in the 4-0 defeat of Salisbury on 20th December.
Five former U's have also lined up for Lewes in their time: Dean Hooper, Tony Towner, Mark Watson, squad keeper Dan Crane and non-contract reserve keeper Jimmy Glass.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Not especially busy, always in control.
Gleeson 6. Subdued game: competent defensively, contributed little on the overlap.
Bolland 7. Ever reliable at the back and pitched in at set pieces at the other end.
Hatswell 7. Commanding as usual and spent the latter minutes as an auxiliary striker.
Tonkin 6. The best overlapping left-back in the division had a quiet day by his own standards.
Reason 8. Touches of class.
Carden 7. Industrious but nowhere near Tuesday's standard - just like the team, in fact.
McMahon 6. Not bad, not great, needs more set piece practice.
Beesley 5. Had the proverbial stinker, most of the time looking totally out of touch, unable to control or pass a ball accurately, and it was no surprise when he was mercifully withdrawn.
Holroyd 8. Always a threat with his darting pace and alertness.
Rendell 7. Too many hopeful high balls in his 'service' and he struggled to assert himself against Lewes' experienced defenders. Good pen, though.
Willmott 7. Looked lively when given decent ball to work with and notched a nice goal.
Pitt 6. Competent contribution.
Match Summary
Complacent United were fortunate to grab three points against a willing but out-of-their-depth Lewes side who are doomed to relegation, in a lazy performance played at half the pace of Tuesday's superb win at Kidderminster. Victories have to be earned, and they need to regain their oomph at Grays or they will be in for a nasty surprise.
Man of the Match
Jai Reason. Almost all of the match's moments of quality came from the Ipswich loanee's cultured right foot.
Ref Watch
Bull 7. Lumme: another decent ref. Controlled the game with a light touch but brandished cards when necessary, and got the big decisions right. And this was the character who sent Dan Gleeson off?!
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"Genius is one per cent inspiration and ninety-nine per cent perspiration." [Reading, 21/8/91]
Hello... Goodbye
Happy 39th birthday today to Lee Philpott. United's dribbling wizard of the left wing during the Beck golden era scored probably the best volley ever seen at the Abbey in the 5-1 FA Cup defeat of Bristol City in 1990, and fetched the club £350,000 when sold to Leicester in 1992. He can still be seen playing for Leicester in the Sky Masters six-a-side tournament, although his once long, floppy blond locks have long since been replaced by a shiny White Malteser-dome.
Tero Pilvi was also born on this day, in 1976. One of Beck's more eccentric signings, the winger became the only Finn to play first team football for the U's when he joined from Airdrie in 2001. He only made three starts plus two as sub, but can boast proudly that he has played for clubs called FC Honka, FC Jokerit and Valokuvia Atlantis.
This day in 1998 saw the U's debut of striker Lee Charles, in a goalless draw at Cardiff. He was on loan from QPR, who had paid Chertsey Town £67,500 for his services, but he never made the grade in the Football League, scoring once for United (in a 2-0 win over Mansfield) in seven appearances and once for QPR in sixteen before drifting back into non-League with Hayes.
On this day in 1986, winger Alan Comfort made his last appearance in black'n'amber, in a goalless draw at Exeter. A splendid servant to the club, he scored seven goals in 73 games over two seasons before moving on to Orient then Middlesbrough, but a cruciate knee ligament injury forced his retirement from full-time football at the age of 25. He went on to pursue his other passion, religion, studying for three years at Cambridge Theological College and eventually becoming Orient's club chaplain. He has recently been appointed Team Rector of the groovily named Great Baddow Team Ministry, an appointment he takes up on 31st March.
Soundtrack of the Day
The Mae Shi 'R U Professional'
Parky's Pick of the Pops
Andy Parkinson lends an ear to the Dripping Pan sounds. "All right, lads and lasses? My Great Auntie Noreen once had a quick knee trembler with Pete Best at The Cavern (I think it was a sort of cocktail) and she never failed to remind me that Scouse music is the greatest on the planet. And hey, she's right, ey?
"There was the Merseybeat sound of the Sixties, led by the Beatles of course, Elvis Costello, the Lightning Seeds, the La's, and my Uncle Tezza's favourite, the bands that played Eric's club in the late Seventies/early Eighties like the Bunnymen, Teardrop Explodes, Wah!, OMD and China Crisis. That scene also spawned Frankie Goes To Hollywood, who I was never too keen on myself, not being a fan of leather chaps worn with no trousers, like, and strangely enough their first album seems to be the only one in Lewes' record library, because that was all I heard today!
"The build-up was dominated by the full, very long album version of 'Welcome To The Pleasuredome,' and the teams ran out to 'Two Tribes,' and that was about it! Full marks for Scouseness, but none for variety, ey? PPP verdict: 5/10."
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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