Friday 26th December - U's 2-2 Histon: Two pairs don't win a hand
Christmas Day is one of life's great imponderables. "How do you mean, Mr B?" I hear you chorus through a haze of Aldi Best Buy Wine, Albanian vodka and Advocaat. "Is it the mystery of Jesus' birth? That magical star? Or just the arbitrary choice of December 25th in the first place?" No, none of those, I chuckle indulgently. What I really want to know is: how can a day spent doing nothing but eat and drink to excess and lounging around on the couch leave you feeling so utterly knackered? It can't just be the alcohol, surely. And if someone mentions figgy pudding I shall be compelled to chunder as no man has chundered before.
Footballers are a different breed, even at our relatively lowly level. They may not be compelled to play on the Big Day any more, but they are usually called in for a spot of training and have to show the kind of restraint food-wise that is usually only practised by twig-a-like supermodels. And booze is right out of the question... at least, I hope so. The twenty-two men of Cambridgeshire's top two football clubs whose names don't begin with P did not let us down this year, with a compelling contest full of energy and commitment and entirely devoid of hangovers and indigestion. That was the crowd's job.
Another splendid attendance for this holiday fixture - the third largest at the Abbey in United's short Conference history behind the equivalent last season and the playoff semi-final with Burton - gathered on a bright but chilly afternoon, the ground looking packed except for a disappointingly half-empty away end, and the atmosphere crackled like burning turkey fat.
Our Gary understandably fielded the same side which started against Salisbury, Jon Challinor retaining his place at right-back to consign Dan Gleeson to the bench, and Josh Coulson continuing in the centre of defence in the absence through illness of Phil Bolland. Histon's line-up differed in three places from that which United defeated in the FA Trophy, with Damien Reeves in place of Neil Andrews in midfield, Patrick Ada depping for the suspended Mat Mitchel-King at the back, and rookie keeper Joe Welch in for Danny Naisbitt following the rather bizarre remarks about the latter's mental state in the media. I thought all goalies were mad, anyway. Matt Langston (he's a postman, you know) returned to the side after a one-match ban following his red card against the U's.
United started purposefully and dominated the early stages, pinning the visitors into their own half. Ben Farrell looked particularly impressive in the middle, forging forward at every opportunity, while Robbie Willmott and Chris Holroyd buzzed energetically and Scott Rendell led the line commandingly.
Courtney Pitt pressurised the pony-tailed Lanre Oyebanjo into an early mistake and Langston had to make a hurried clearance from the ensuing ball across the box, then Hatswell fired a long-range free-kick wide, and the U's forced their first corner on 10, but they surprisingly did not put any direct pressure on the inexperienced keeper. Oh for a Sammy Morgan.
United continued to take the game to their visitors, including use of the long throws of which Histon are so fond, and they were rewarded on the quarter hour when Farrell pressured Gareth Gwillim into conceding a corner. The flag-kick was partly cleared but Farrell picked it up wide on the right and centred for Wayne Hatswell, lurking unmarked just outside the box. He took a touch then blasted low and unerringly into the bottom left corner past the helpless Welch. 1-0!
The U's came agonisingly close to doubling their lead minutes later when the impressive Josh Coulson latched onto a Willmott free-kick and flicked his shot just wide of the far post from eight yards out as the shellshocked visitors tried to get into the game. Jack Midson blazed wide for them on 18, then tried a feeble dive in the area as Hatswell challenged, but although his attempted deception did not yield the penalty his colleague Danny Wright had stolen in the Trophy match, he did not receive the yellow card that his dishonesty merited from the lenient referee.
Back up the other end, Rendell controlled a through ball on his chest, advanced and blasted a shot into Welch's relieved arms on 25, while an attempted shot by Oyebanjo following one of Gwillim's endless series of long throws was skied embarrassingly into the car park.
At corners, Willmott and Pitt invariably gathered together before one of them crossed, which seemed like a waste of a player who could have been in the danger zone instead, but it seems it was a ploy to distract Histon from the tactic which worked so well last time, the late and undetected arrival of Challinor into the box. Nice try, but tactical obsessives like John Beck and his assistant Fallon were surely all too aware of the move already. Challinor did connect with one corner on 28, but his header was comfortably plucked from the air by Welch.
Good work by Holroyd on the half-hour culminated in his finding Willmott in the corner of the area, and his cheeky thunderbolt of a shot flashed narrowly over. The visitors retorted with a wickedly curling free-kick from Gwillim on 36 which was touched on to Nathaniel Knight-Percival to prod home from close range, but he had been clearly offside when the pass came and the verdict was no goal.
Then three minutes from the end of the 45, United dealt what looked like the killer blow. Willmott's corner was kept alive by the head of Hatswell, Coulson lifted a spectacular overhead cross back into the six-yard box, and it fell perfectly at the far post for an unmarked Rendell to head home from almost under the bar. 2-0!
Histon managed a late spell of pressure and were almost caught out by a quicksilver Willmott breakaway down the middle, but Welch saw the danger early and scooted from his line to clear from midway into his own half. So ended a thoroughly satisfactory half for the hosts. But the job was only half done, as we were to discover in part two.
Meanwhile, the amber hordes were entertained by an amusing penalty shoot-out between rival fans, most notably by a chunky goalkeeper with a neat line in modern interpretative dance. Or something. And United won 3-2.
Experience has taught us that you underestimate Histon at your peril, and they started the second half like the proverbial Arctic blizzard. Antonio Murray, back again on the pitch which his father Jamie graced so many times in black'n'amber, drew a save from Danny Potter on 47, then Pitt retaliated with a cut-in and shot with his right foot which was well stopped by Welch, who was not proving to be the weak link that we might have hoped he would be.
But on 49 the visitors clawed their way back into the match, via - what else - a Gwillim long throw. It was helped on to Wright, his shot was stopped by a diving Potter, and there was Midson to poke home from close range. 2-1.
That spoiled United's seven-game shutout run at the Abbey, and as Histon began to get the bit between their teeth, the hosts' hitherto impregnable-looking defence started to look decidedly pregnable, especially down the flanks where the full-backs kept getting caught too high up the pitch.
Coulson forced a save from Welch with a header from a Paul Carden free-kick, and at the other end Wright broke clear down the right channel but was stopped by Coulson, Murray went through but was well marshalled by Carden and shot wide, and a run down the left from Knight-Percival culminated in a cross to the far post where it seemed Midson must score, but Potter blocked heroically on his line.
All this pressure finally told just before the hour, however. United were making too many unforced errors and were beginning to lose out on the 50/50 challenges, and Rendell lost possession unnecessarily near halfway. The ball ran to Midson wide left, he skipped past Coulson's clumsy lunge on the touchline and cut inside, pursued by three amber shirts. As every United player ran towards him, he looked up and saw two team-mates scandalously unmarked in the middle, and found Murray eight yards out, who made no mistake in smashing home past the helpless Potter. 2-2.
Histon had upped their game, seemingly playing at twice the pace of the first half, and United had to find a way to respond. As things became increasingly competitive, the yellow cards finally began to flow, Midson first into the book on 63 for a dangerously high lunge on Carden. Farrell lifted a shot over after another buccaneering run, Wright blasted wide for the visitors, and on 66 Andrews replaced ex-U Josh Simpson, who had drifted through a very quiet game indeed.
Now the action began to switch from end to end as both teams attacked each other faster than Santa's reindeer when they are running late. Reeves headed a Murray cross wide and on 71 Pitt, whose performance had never approached the heights of last week, was replaced by Felino Jardim, which was a shame; after the Superman pants of last week, perhaps Courtney had gone for the full furry Santa undies with glowing red nose this time? We shall never know. Thankfully.
Jardim went wide right with Willmott switching to the left, and the Dutchman had an early snap shot blocked away by Gwillim. Next into the book was Wright on 75 for a petulant kick at Coulson, then the United man followed him by being penalised for a foul on Midson when it appeared that he had won the ball.
The ensuing free-kick, just outside the box, was touched to Gwillim, and as Jardim charged out, he went for power and lashed his shot just over the bar. United charged back and had a fairly convincing looking claim for handball turned down in a crowded box, and on 78 Andrews felled Holroyd and Willmott arrowed a tremendous free-kick over the wall but inches past the left-hand upright.
A minute later Holroyd was withdrawn after a dynamic display and replaced by Mark Beesley. The tackles continued to fly and Gwillim continued to lift every free-kick and long throw into the box, no matter from where it originated, as the teams slugged it out toe to toe. Knight-Percival was lucky to escape a booking for a cynical foot-in on Challinor, and United continued to repel boarders with notable aerial assistance from Rendell.
Back up the other end, Rendell dived for a header on 86 and appeared to have been pushed in the back in the process, but ref Whitton remained disinterested in any penalty appeal, and in the end the teams fought each other to a standstill.
There was a sense of anti-climax from the fans, disappointed to have conceded what had appeared to have been a winning position, but whatever United's second-half weaknesses, Histon deserved credit for a spirited comeback with their customary pace, physicality and power, not to mention some neat inter-passing on occasion. A fair result over the ninety minutes, which probably pleased the visitors more, although they had not quite exacted revenge for the clubs' last encounter earlier in the month. At least they hadn't been offended by the programme notes or car parking arrangements this year.
Father Christmas might be putting his feet up now for a well-deserved rest with a glass of brandy and a cigar or two (or is that Ron Atkinson?) but the teams must go again on Sunday, with the visit of our old chums from Stevenage. No wonder those players don't get a chance to overindulge over the holiday period. Now where did I put that nutcracker...?
Statto Corner
It is hard to believe now, but there was a time when it was commonplace to stage football games on Christmas Day, with the return against the same opposition on Boxing Day... and this applied all the way from the Football League to local league football. Abbey United first played a festive day fixture on 25th December 1926, drawing 1-1 with Cambridge Swifts at the Celery Trenches. The return match on Boxing Day resulted in a 1-0 defeat for the 'Wasps.'
The United players managed to avoid playing again on the big day until the mid-1930s, when for three consecutive seasons they staged festive local derbies with Histon Institute (whatever happened to them...?). In 1934 they doubled their village rivals, 3-1 at home on Christmas Day and 1-0 away on Boxing Day. The next year a 1-1 draw at the Abbey was followed by a 1-0 defeat at Bridge Road, and in 1936 honours were shared as United won 3-2 then lost 2-1 in Impington.
United did not play another Christmas Day fixture until 1950, winning 2-0 at Eynesbury Rovers, but they lost 2-1 at home to the same opponents on Boxing Day. The club from St Neots were to become regular festive opponents during the 1950s, meeting in 1952, 1953, 1955, 1956 and 1957, with Bury Town and Peterborough United Reserves fulfilling the same fixtures in 1951 and 1954 respectively.
The only time in this period that United did not play on Christmas Day was in 1955. A Christmas Eve goalless draw at Spalding was followed by a 9-3 tonking of Eynesbury at the Abbey on Boxing Day, and a 2-2 draw in Huntingdonshire the day after.
United's last Christmas Day game came in 1957, a 4-1 pounding of Eynesbury at their place, and the U's repeated the treatment in the return at the Abbey on Boxing Day, winning 4-2. The tradition ended thereafter, with the last Football League games taking place on 25th December in 1959, Blackburn beating Blackpool 1-0 and Coventry defeating Wrexham 5-3. It lasted somewhat longer in Scotland, the last Christmas Day matches being played at Clydebank and Alloa in 1976.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Didn't do much wrong, being unlucky with Histon's first goal and hopelessly exposed by his defence for the second.
Challinor 7. Splendid first half, despite being battered more than most by the village's rough boys, but faded somewhat in the second.
Coulson 8. Another strong, impressive performance, only ricket being the rash missed tackle that let Midson in to create Histon's equaliser.
Hatswell 8. Cracking goal and consistent as ever.
Tonkin 7. Mostly thoroughly decent, although tended to disappear somewhat during the visitors' purple patch early in the second half.
Willmott 8. Remained a speedy menace throughout, albeit his final ball still need some work on occasion.
Carden 7. No lacking in effort, but not his usual dominant self against opponents quicker than him.
Farrell 8. Truly excellent. Must give him an extended run.
Pitt 6. Courtney was never really 'on it' today, perhaps understandable as he has only just come back from an extended injury break.
Holroyd 8. Always busy and in the thick of the action.
Rendell 8. Led the line with authority and power. Pray he stays.
Jardim 6. Did not make much of an impression.
Beesley 6. Not on for long enough to get into the game.
Match Summary
Like a turkey close to its sell-by date, United were tasty and impressive until four o'clock on Boxing Day, then suddenly went off and had to settle for a point against resilient Histon. They still had chances to win it, mind, and had a decent penalty shout or two in an exciting end-to-end festive treat which was thankfully devoid of the usual cluster of red cards.
Man of the Match
Ben Farrell. Dynamic, positive and accurate of pass, Ben took the game to Histon from the start and kept up the pace for ninety minutes. Should be first name on the teamsheet for Sunday.
Ref Watch
Whitton 6. Sparing on the cards, perhaps too much so in the face of plenty of roughhouse challenges and no little 'exaggeration' from the visitors, and seemed determined to turn down any and every penalty appeal, no matter how compelling.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"The men who try to do something and fail are infinitely better than those who try to do nothing and succeed." [Sunderland, 1/9/92]
Hello... Goodbye
Happy 33rd birthday today to Jamie Barnwell-Edinboro. Jamie managed thirteen goals in 57 games plus 13 as sub in the mid-1990s for United after signing from Coventry, but he rarely seemed strong enough either mentally or physically to make a career in the Football League and, after a brief but disastrous experiment at left-back (he was taken off at half-time at Brighton), he departed for the non-League scene in his native Hull area, where he has been ever since.
Steve Berryman was also born on this day in 1966, and is a member of the U's one-game club, keeping a clean sheet in a 1-0 win over Exeter on 16th March 1991 in his solitary match in goal for United before moving on to Barnet, Preston and thence to non-League.
Boxing Day 2003 saw the United debut of two rather less than memorable loanees, Neil McCafferty from Charlton and Nathan Peat from Hull, in a 1-0 home defeat by Southend United. Both men appeared six times in black'n'amber before returning, unwanted, to their parent clubs.
Gavin Heeroo first appeared for United on Boxing Day 2005, a 1-0 win over Stevenage. Jordan Collins was also a debut boy on this day, in 2006, in a dismal 1-0 home defeat by Rushden. He's still around, though, and may yet fulfil his early promise. That game also saw the last game in United colours for Danny Carey-Bertram and Brian Dutton. Somehow we have managed to struggle on without them.
Soundtrack of the Day
Chris Difford 'Let's Not Fight This Christmas'
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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