Saturday 13th September 2008 - U's 0-1 Torquay: Gulls bring Crow down to Earth
You know, I'm beginning to think that Ronald Weinland is right. Ronnie boy is one of those apocalyptic religious types that the US tends to churn out by the truckload, and after spells in the Worldwide Church of God and the United Church of God, he has declared himself a God-appointed prophet and formed his own church called, rather catchily, the 'Church of God, Preparing for the Kingdom of God' (or CG-PKG for short).
Anyway, he reckons the 'End-Time' is under way, which will lead to the destruction of the USA and the UK, the deaths of billions, World War III caused by a United States of Europe and, three years hence, the return to Earth of Jesus to take charge and bang a few heads together. In a caring way, naturally. Although I'd have thought it would have been more considerate of Him to come to Earth before all those billions were killed. Deities, eh? Can't live with 'em...
So... what portents can we see around us already, heralding the imminent end of human civilisation as we know it? Simple, pilgrims. Just look at the top of the Blue Square Conference league table. 1st: Crawley Town? 2nd: Salisbury City?! 3rd: Kettering Town??! Glory be, brethren, the apocalypse is more imminent than we realised! Proof positive, I'm sure you will agree, that the world is going to Hull in a handcart and we should all be girding our loins for the final judgement, if only we knew exactly what 'girding' actually entails.
In the meantime, we must take pleasure where we can find it, and where better on a warm, sunny Saturday afternoon than the Trade Recruitment Stadium, for the visit of Torquay United. The feelgood factor was in full effect for the amber army, buoyed by last week's superb victory over Wrexham and a stunning display from England midweek that kept everyone glued to their tellies at 10.40pm on Thursday evening when they finally got a chance to see it.
Torquay had not enjoyed such a happy start to the season, down in eighteenth place with eight points from eight games (isn't that supposed to be a lucky number in Japan?), and manager Paul Buckle was already facing calls for his head from what Grays chairman/manager Micky Woodward charmingly calls 'the morons on the website.' Lucky we never have such problems, eh?
Our Gary understandably stuck by the side which won in such style last week, only changes being on the bench where Ben Farrell returned from suspension and Danny Crow debuted after his signing earlier in the week.
Only four Torquay players remained from the eleven which started the clubs' last meeting on 22nd April in the penultimate game before both teams embarked on their ultimately unsuccessful playoff campaigns (the same number which survived from United's starting XI that night), including their now 36-year-old skipper Chris Hargreaves; remarkably, he was making his 24th appearance against the U's in nineteen years, having played for Grimsby, Hull, Hereford, Plymouth, Northampton and Oxford before joining the Gulls. And he's still got that long, lank problem hair, the poor love.
A good crowd of 4,041, including a posse of Junior U's in the Marston's Smooth Stand, saw a lively opening from United with the speedy Chris Holroyd having a shot blocked by Chris Todd on 2, then Mark Beesley tried a cheeky lob on 4 from 35 yards, which floated just over the angle. Two minutes later Lee McEvilly latched onto Anthony Tonkin's cross and saw his shot blocked at close range by Mark Ellis for a corner, from which Mark Convery slid a shot wide.
United kept up the pressure when McEvilly met another cross from Jon Challinor, forcing a save from keeper Michael Poke, and Torquay had to wait until 11 for their first corner, Convery getting in the way of Mustapha Carayol's drive.
Ref Hendley set the tone for an error-strewn afternoon on 13 when Phil Bolland stretched to dispossess Tim Sills and was booked for a foul when he clearly appeared to have got the ball first. The ensuing free-kick on the edge of the box was blasted feebly into the wall by Nicky Wroe.
With the pattern of play now established, it was apparent that United's 4-3-3 formation was not proving as effective as it was against Wrexham. Torquay played with only one out-and-out striker, Sills, and flooded the midfield where they outnumbered their hosts, and with the narrowness of United's central three, they also found plenty of space down the flanks, particularly down their left through Carayol.
The Gulls wide man almost set up Sills on 19, but Bolland blocked the target man's shot, and a minute later came laughable booking number two when Holroyd leaped to nick a bouncing ball away from Lee Hodges by the touchline, succeeded but collided afterwards with the Torquay left-back and was punished for another non-existent 'foul.' The Habbin enquired politely as to the whereabouts of Mr Hendley's guide dog.
The frustrating inconsistency of the man in black was manifest a minute later when Holroyd was clattered by a clumsy Wroe challenge and no card was forthcoming, but he did get it right on 23 when, not for the first time, Carayol threw himself theatrically to the ground under a tackle from Challinor and was deservedly added to the little black book.
Possession ebbed back and forth with neither keeper troubled, but when Challinor got forward on 31 he knocked it past Carayol into the box but was blatantly bodychecked to prevent him from following it. The ref appeared to go for his pocket before realising that Carayol had already been booked, and somehow he was spared the second yellow that his cynical foul surely merited. Who's a lucky boy, then.
Regrettably for United's prospects, the influential Beesley was forced to withdraw through injury to be replaced by debut boy Crow, and he so nearly scored with his first touch. Convery floated a free-kick into the box and he rose but missed his clear header by the width of a hair, the ball eventually falling for McEvilly to have a shot blocked at the far post.
Up the other end Bolland conceded a free-kick for a shove on Sills on 34, Hodges lofted the kick into the box and Todd nodded over. United countered through McEvilly, who set up Crow for a shot which was blocked by Ellis, then Holroyd's shot deflected off Todd for a corner; Convery's short corner found Crow but again Ellis threw himself in the way to typify his side's doughty defending.
On 37 Convery's corner found the head of McEvilly, but he couldn't keep it down, then Big Mac was presented with a chance to show off his set piece skills six minutes later when Todd felled Holroyd on the right-hand edge of the box. Faced with a flimsy two-man wall, Lee went for a rising drive that unfortunately rose over the bar and was last seen heading for the allotments where it is understood to have crashed into old Mr Gubbins' shed, causing a good 37p worth of damage. Mr Gubbins is said to be "devastated".
As the interval beckoned, the visitors responded with a Hargreaves set up for Wayne Carlisle with a clear shot ten yards out, but Danny Potter made a smart save to maintain parity. The half ended in the Torquay area where there was spot of pinball following a United corner, but no-one could supply the vital touch and the sides went in level after a hard-fought and fairly entertaining contest.
Play resumed on the long, lush Abbey turf with both sides unchanged. United got off to a flier, McEvilly almost bulldozing his way through the area early on but he was foiled by a last-second block from Hodges inside the six-yard box. Convery's corner was nodded goalward by Wayne Hatswell and found Holroyd unmarked six yards out, but he was falling as he shot and spooned over the top to miss United's best chance yet.
Ellis picked up the Gulls' second booking on 51 for a poor challenge on the lively Crow; Challinor found Convery with the free-kick, and his lofted cross found the pink head of McEvilly rising as if propelled from a giant Baby-Gro, and he really should have hit the target with a nod that flew just over. Against such stout opposition, one's feeling was that United needed to score now, while they were in the ascendant.
Torquay were forced into a change on 56 when Ellis hurt himself falling and he was stretchered off, Chris Robertson stepping into the breach. Four minutes later came change number two, the diminutive Danny Stevens replacing Carayol, deservedly booed off by the amber faithful.
Crow came close to opening his account on 62 with a quick turn and shot from the 'D', which curled just wide, and six minutes later it was ridiculous booking number three for the U's when Paul Carden collided with Tyrone Thompson and was somehow adjudged to have not only fouled him but in a manner which merited a booking, unlike several unsavoury real fouls which had not been so punished earlier by the wildly inconsistent man in black.
United were struggling to find a way through the Torquay blanket, too often lacking width and trying to force the ball through the eye of a needle down the crowded middle, and the side was crying out for a Plan B, preferably one which involved the introduction of Felino Jardim and a switch to 4-4-2 to give the visitors some new problems to think about. Unfortunately Our Gary waited and hesitated too long.
McEvilly almost created something from nothing on 72, winning the ball in the box and finding Crow, but with a simple lay-back to an unmarked Holroyd the obvious option, he opted for an ambitious angled lob which was comfortably caught by Poke. Holroyd then found McEvilly on the edge of the area, but he blasted over under pressure. It was these sorts of incidents which caused Brabin to delay making a change.
Wroe shot wide for the Gulls on 75, and four minutes later United finally made a substitution, Chris Jones replacing the excellent Holroyd. But the formation remained the same, with Jones stationed slightly deeper than McEvilly and Crow, and it must be said that he did not look particularly suited to the position, although his supply line was not of the greatest quality with a tad few too many hopeful long balls replacing the cool, accurate short passing of last week. Perhaps tiredness was setting in on a hot late summer's day.
Six minutes from time another fine Convery cross found McEvilly at the far post, but instead of going for goal he chose to nod across the box towards Crow and the danger was cleared. Danny Brown was booked on 89 for a juddering challenge on Wroe, and with ninety minutes looming, an honour-satisfying goalless draw looked on the cards. But no.
In the last minute of normal time a lazy high hoof towards Jones in the middle was easily headed back with interest by Todd. Suddenly United looked thin at the back, and Stevens' through ball from the left found both Sills and Carlisle breaking down the right channel. Carlisle controlled, cut inside, then unleashed a perfect curler from twenty yards which flew inevitably past Potter's outstretched arms and nestled in the far corner of the net. 1-0.
Carlisle was booked for 'over-celebrating' by the humourless jobsworth in black, who it seems regarded this as a more serious matter than clattering a man to the ground, and for United there was no way back. Matt Green was a late timewasting sub for Sills during the four added minutes, but the U's had long since run out of inspiration and sank to their second home defeat of the season.
It had not been an out-and-out bad performance by United, who had come close to scoring on several occasions, but they had lacked the wit and the variety to find a way past tough, well-organised opposition who had come with a game plan and executed it with discipline... just as Kettering did. Beesley's early exit clearly did not help, but that lack of a Plan B must be uppermost in Our Gary's thoughts this week. You are allowed to play more than one formation in a match, you know, young man...
As our friend Ronald Weinland says, "This is not a time to draw back, become slack, or let down from being spiritually on guard. Everything is rapidly moving forward, and on Trumpets of this year we will have entered the final 1,335 days before the return of Jesus Christ and the establishment of the government of God over all the Earth." So let's get that promotion chase back on track sooner rather than later, eh...?
Statto Corner
Torquay boss Paul Buckle played for the U's as a pre-season trialist in a friendly at Watford on 9th August 1996. He accompanied Micah Hyde and Billy Beall in a three-man midfield behind a front pairing of Gary Brazil and Paul Raynor. United lost 3-0 and Buckle was not invited back, but went on to a non-contract spell at Wycombe before signing for Colchester that November.
Today's scorer, Wayne Carlisle, was also an unsuccessful trialist at the Abbey when on Exeter's books. He came on as sub in July 2006 friendlies at Cambridge City and a 4-4 home draw with Ipswich, but then returned to Exeter where he regained his place in the team.
Danny Crow's nearest namesake in United colours is Mark Crowe, a former Torquay centre-back who played 55 times without scoring for the U's between 1986 and 1988, mostly in a defensive partnership with the legendary Lindsay 'Wolfie' Smith, before losing his place to Phil Chapple and moving on to Wroxham and Bury Town.
Crow is the fourteenth U's player to be allocated the number 28 jersey after (deep breath) Lee Collins, Scott Oakes, Adam Butterworth, John Turner, Jonathan Heathcote, Brian Dutton, Tom Beech, Richard Hodgson, Martin Carruthers, Ritchie Hanlon, Ben Sedgemore, Darryl Knights and Lee McEvilly. He was born in Great Yarmouth, like former U's Paul Casey, Russell Stock and Dave Stringer.
The only previous match at the Abbey before today at which an attendance of 4,041 was recorded was on 31st October 1981. The U's defeated Cardiff 2-1, a Steve Spriggs thunderbolt and Roger Gibbins accounting for United's goals to send them eighth in Division Two (now 'The Championship'). Now those really were the days.
Finally, congratulations to Derby County, who today ended a winless run in League games that lasted four days short of twelve months. They are responsible for taking away United's most unwanted record, 31 League matches without a win in 1983-84, and their new mark of 36 will surely never be beaten.
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Good solid game, no chance with the goal.
Challinor 7. Steady and competent again at right-back, although he was left exposed down the flank by the narrowness of United's midfield.
Bolland 7. As unflappable as a wingless albatross.
Hatswell 7. Thoroughly reliable as usual.
Tonkin 7. Solid defensively, but not quite the attacking force he was last week.
Convery 8. All-action performance, full of energy and commitment.
Carden 8. Outstanding in the first half, not bad in the second either.
Brown 7. Again did a very decent job, keeping it simple and effective.
Holroyd 8. Tremendous.
Beesley 7. His enforced early withdrawal showed just how he is missed when he's not there.
McEvilly 7. Will have been disappointed not to score from at least one of his chances.
Crow 7. Not really match fit - I thought he was going to throw up when he bent double to catch his breath in the second half - but showed enough skill and awareness to demonstrate that he will be a valuable asset to the squad.
Jones 6. The lad never stops trying, but nothing came off for him today.
Match Summary
United failed to take their chances or to fully get to grips with another team which came to the Abbey to contain them, and paid the price in painful fashion with Torquay's last-minute smash and grab of the points. One to learn from and not to repeat.
Man of the Match
Chris Holroyd. Outstanding movement, superb skill, excitingly positive in his running at and taking on the opposition. Looks a great signing.
Ref Watch
Hendley 4. Oh dear. Booked three United players for perfectly legitimate challenges, hopelessly inconsistent in ignoring worse fouls by Torquay players, and bottled what should have been a second yellow for Carayol before sealing his peculiar idea of what really needs clamping down on in football by carding Carlisle for the risible 'offence' of over-celebrating. Needs to get a sense of perspective if he's to get anywhere in the reffing world.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"Defeat is not bitter if you don't swallow it." [Derby County, 3/10/92]
Hello... Goodbye
Today's birthday boys are two local lads who made good at the Abbey for a time until their sell-by dates crept up on them: Colin Vowden (1971) and Daniel Chillingworth (1981). Last season's loanee Jack Jeffery was also born on this day in 1989.
Debut boys today were Mike Flanagan, veteran striker who made the first of only ten appearances in a 2-2 home draw with Exeter in 1986 before moving on to the glamorous surroundings of Margate, and David Rush, who played the first of a mere two loan games from Sunderland in a goalless draw at Plymouth in 1994. He went on to join Oxford for £100,000 but his career never hit the heights and he was last spotted playing for the Black Cats in Sky Sports' Six-a-Side Masters Tournament, sporting alarmingly long blond hair.
Soundtrack of the Day
High Places "From Stardust To Sentience"
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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