Saturday 6th September 2008 - U's 2-0 Wrexham: The Bees Knees
"Nuts!" "Taxi!" Sky Sports' Saturday morning Soccer AM show has produced many an amusing/irritating catchphrase over the years, and after appearing to be on its last legs last season, it had been given a new lease of life, for United fans at least, by the appointment this season of U's supporter Max Rushden as co-presenter, who has proceeded to shoehorn in as many gratuitous CUFC references as he can.
Today's Abbey visitors, Wrexham, brought themselves instant qualification for both of the aforementioned slots with The Worst Free-Kick In The World in the 32nd minute of a pulsating encounter. Tom Kearney and Wes Baynes stood over the ball out on the left some 35 yards from goal, considering their options as they surveyed a packed penalty area ahead of them. Long shot? Ball down the flank? Cross to the far post? No. Kearney simply tapped it to his right, neatly nutmegging his bewildered colleague as the ball trundled through his legs, and both stood aghast as Mark Convery gleefully took possession and forged forward on the counter-attack.
Wrexham boss Brian Little watched despairingly from the technical area and held his head in his hands in horror as he saw another carefully rehearsed set piece trickle dismally down the plughole. And the amber army just laughed. This is what it looks like... When Free-Kicks Turn Bad.
United and Wrexham go back a long way, having met for the first time in April 1974, playing each other home and away in the space of five days. The U's went down 2-1 at the Racecourse Ground on the twelfth, but exacted revenge four days later by reversing the scores with goals by Bobby Shinton and Nigel Cassidy in a bad-tempered encounter which saw John O'Donnell and Mickey Thomas sent off for coming to blows. And they were both such shy, retiring types.
There have been goals aplenty in the clubs' 34 subsequent meetings, with a smattering of 4-3s and 3-2s and some fearful batterings in North Wales, including United's last two visits which both ended in embarrassing 5-0 defeats. Five seasons have elapsed since our last meeting, but last term Wrexham sank into the ranks of non-League, 87 years after leaving the Birmingham & District League behind to become founder members of Football League Division 3 North.
In truth, the North Welshmen's League career rarely hit the heights, only ever enjoying four seasons outside the bottom two divisions after they were promoted from Division Three with the Mighty U's in 1978. Thanks to the Welsh Cup, however, they enjoyed some good nights in the European Cup Winners' Cup, reaching the quarter-finals in 1975-76 and defeating the giants of FC Porto on away goals (1-0 home, 3-4 away) in 1984-85 before succumbing to AS Roma.
Their recent history has been one of struggles with rapacious owners who wanted to spirit their ground away for development. Wonderfully, they won that battle, but they hit the doldrums on the pitch and now find themselves in pastures new. Or old, in the case of the Trade Recruitment Stadium. How do you like the new name, guys?...
Brian Little got Darlington out of the Conference at the first time of asking in 1990, and is now tasked with doing the same for Wrexham. His side for today's match contained several players who have come up against the U's before: keeper Gavin Ward for Stoke three times between 1999 and 2001, centre-back Darren Kempson for Morecambe in 2005-06, skipper Kearney for Halifax as recently as February this year, wide man Shaun Whalley for Chester in 2004, striker Simon Brown for both Mansfield and Kidderminster. Defender Shaun Pejic was the only man who had encountered United for Wrexham before, back in 2002, as had his father Mel in 1993-94.
Probably the least welcome sight in red was the journeyman's journeyman Jefferson Louis. He had played against the U's six times previously, for Weymouth, Stevenage and Oxford (four times) and never appeared on the losing side, scoring five times in the process, although all but one of the matches finished in draws. Most welcome sight was sub Christian 'Brick Wall' Smith, who endeared himself to U's fans with a loan spell in 2006-07 which yielded one goal (the winner at Stafford) and one sending-off (at Oxford).
There was plenty that was unfamiliar about Our Gary's choice to start for United. With injuries and suspensions mounting, he changed formation to an exciting attacking 4-3-3 and handed three players their first starts of the season. Versatile Jon Challinor moved to right-back, and Paul Carden was joined in midfield by the recovered-from-injury Danny Brown (above) and Mark Convery. Lee McEvilly and Mark Beesley were joined up front by Chris Holroyd, while the thinness of the squad was demonstrated by the presence of three wingers and a goalkeeper on the bench.
McEvilly was up against one of his former clubs, for whom he scored 14 times in 33 appearances plus 18 as sub, while Carden was facing a club for which he did sign during the summer, but not validly as he still had a year to run on his contract at Accrington. Something tells me his subsequent decision to be sold to United to join his mate Gary as player-assistant manager did not go down too well with Mr Little; in fact, roedd ei waed y berwi ar ol clywed y newyddion, as they say around his way. And you can't argue with that.
The temperature was mild but the wind was wild, with the promise of a snap shower at any moment, as the sides gained battle at three o'clock. Unsurprisingly Wrexham were faster out of the traps against a home side adjusting to a new formation with some rather ring-rusty personnel, and on 2 Louis capitalised on some rare hesitancy in the United back line to sneak through the middle onto a Simon Brown flick-on and knocked his shot just wide as the ball bounced and Danny Potter galloped from goal in an attempt to intercept.
Next minute Potter had to dive to turn a Levi Macken drive around the post, but the U's soon began to find their feet. The midfield three kept it tight, relying on the full-backs (especially Anthony Tonkin) to provide width going forward, but the front three had licence to roam and combine as they wished, and with a trio of players as intelligent and skilful as them, the visitors soon had their hands full.
On 5 McEvilly almost sent Holroyd through, his pass just catching the youngster on the heel, then Tonkin crossed for Big Mac but Ward smothered courageously at his feet. Beesley was in his element, drifting and ghosting into all manner of nooks and crannies in the Wrexham defence, and on 9 he was fed by Tonkin out on the left then drove a delightful cross to the near post where McEvilly headed across Ward from inside the six-yard box, but saw his effort cannon off the far post.
The visitors had a neat line in short corners (aka Satan's Set Piece) and their first one instigated by Kearney was nodded clear by the immaculate Phil Bolland on 13, then Kempson fouled McEvilly 25 yards out to present the big man with a free-kick which he wellied into a wincing wall.
Holroyd's movement was particularly impressive - inn fact the new formation seemed to suit just about every player's game - and he came close to breaking the deadlock on 20 when he exchanged passes with Beesley before powering a superb shot for the top left corner from just outside the box which Ward did well to tip over.
Convery's corner dropped disappointingly to first man on the post Kearney to clear, but United were now in the ascendant and Wrexham were struggling to cope. Challinor was fouled by Whalley to herald an ongoing feud down the right flank, but Tonkin was too busy on the opposite wing to be troubled by any wide man, pushing forward like a wing-back at every opportunity.
United's passing was a delight, calmly keeping possession while moving the ball back and forth in patient search of an opening, and on 27 Holroyd found McEvilly inside the box after one splendid move, but he could only poke wide. A minute later, though, came the deserved breakthrough.
Another Tonkin run culminated in a cross to Beesley, whose header was cleared for a corner. Convery's delivery was much better this time, curling to the near post where Holroyd's head flicked on, over a sea of bodies to the far post where Beesley was waiting unmarked to lunge and fire into the roof of the net from point-blank range. McEvilly delayed rushing to congratulate his colleague to, er, salute his visiting ex-fans first. 1-0!
Wrexham's only initial answer was the comedy routine detailed at the top of the page, but they did create a good chance on 36 when Simon Brown was afforded too much room in the area and he turned and fired low for the near post, but Potter was alert and made a smart save.
United thrust back on 38 with another Tonkin run and cross and a Beesley shot which drew a save from Ward, and in a flowing, enjoyable spectacle, Baynes almost produced a goal from nothing five minutes later when he turned and arrowed an Exocet of a shot from almost thirty yards which Potter did well to help over the top.
There had been one or two tasty tackles in an otherwise clean game, and patient ref Sheldrake finally lost patience on the stroke of half-time when Brown clumsily chopped Challinor down and the Wrexham man saw the first yellow of the match. The U's team trooped to the dressing room with acclaim ringing in their ears after a deeply impressive display of accurate, attacking, passing football, while Wrexham's disappointingly small travelling contingent contemplated their midfield's inability to do much about it. Beth wnaeth i ti ddod? Mae eisiau berwi dy ben!
Play resumed at the same hectic pace, but it was time for more amusing free-kick shenanigans on 49 when Beesley fouled Brown to present the visitors with an opportunity to the right of goal some 25 yards out. After much pointing, complaining and gesturing from the Wrexham players that the United wall was too close, ref Sheldrake dutifully paced out the ten yards... to demonstrate that the wall was exactly the right distance away. Kearney's apologetic set-piece sailed gently into Potter's waiting gloves.
Up the other end McEvilly headed into Ward's arms two minutes later, but the visitors plugged away gamely, Macken skewing wide on 53 while Danny Brown blocked another Kearney free-kick on 56. United always looked capable of dealing with anything their opponents could throw at them, Bolland and Hatswell dealing briskly and efficiently with their front two and the combative middle three permitting very little to get past them, while the strikers were also happy to track back to help out when required. This truly was a side in its manager's formidable image, without those stunning pecs of course.
Booking number two came just before the hour, Baynes catching Tonkin with an unpleasant-looking late challenge, and on 62 the bookee was withdrawn in favour of a third forward, Michael Proctor. But any plans the visitors nursed to gain parity were dashed two minutes later when United doubled their lead.
It was another delightful move. Carden dispossessed Macken in midfield, fed Beesley in the centre circle and he found McEvilly wide right. Beesley and Holroyd dashed down the middle, and when Big Mac's cross arced in, it fell perfectly for Holroyd behind the last Wrexham defender, lunging in to volley against the bar from six yards; Beesley was following up and was perfectly placed to nod home from close range. 2-0.
As a contest it already looked beyond the visitors. United's back four looked unbreachable, the middle three redoubtable, and the front three was organised so that McEvilly on the right could latch onto any long balls and nod them infield to his scampering colleagues in an alternative to passing it through the middle.
Booking number three was for Wrexham left-back Carl Tremarco on 70, another crude felling of Holroyd to stop him going clear. Beesley then cut in to shoot for his hat-trick but Tremarco blocked, and on 72 Whalley crossed to beyond the far post where Louis could only sum up his day by heading into the side netting.
Tonkin picked up United's only booking of the day on 75 when Brown nicked a pass away a fraction before the left-back got there and he caught the striker instead, but it was all speed and no malice; in fact the Habbin considered that the Wrexham man had made rather a meal of it, and let him know it by hooting at him like a host of rabid owls.
Kearney floated a tempting free-kick into the box on 77 which Potter fisted clear under great aerial pressure, and it fell to Whalley in the left-hand corner of the box, but instead of crossing he tried an extravagant power shot which sailed high and wide, to more hoots from the parliament in the stands.
Another splendid passing move on 81 presented Danny Brown with a shooting opportunity just outside the box, but he mishit wide, and a minute later the visitors' second substitution saw Sam Aiston, a former opponent of United's for Shrewsbury, replace Brown's namesake Simon. Boo-hoo.
Aiston soon troubled Potter with a dipping cross that almost dropped into the top corner until the United custodian tipped over, then Macken became the next card recipient for a crude foul on Convery. The last few minutes were seen out comfortably by the U's against well-beaten opponents, and the amber hordes rose to acclaim their heroes' best collective performance of the season so far, all the more creditable given the makeshift nature of the team, its unfamiliar formation and the fitness of some of the players.
All credit to them and to Our Gary, who has been nothing but deeply impressive in everything he has done so far. A week's rest from match play will now be welcome, and will give him time to consider a manager's most welcome problem: whether to change a winning team. Perhaps he could come up with some more snazzy free-kick routines while he's at it...
Statto Corner
The U's finished today's match with the same eleven which started it. The last time United did not make a substitution in a league match was under Rob Newman on 4th March 2006: they won 1-0 at Woking thanks to a wonder strike from popular loanee Jamie Guy. The only starters still at the club now are Dan Gleeson and Courtney Pitt.
United's last home league game without a sub was back on 6th March 2004, a 1-0 defeat by Northampton thanks to a last-minute strike from Chris Willmott. Gleeson is the only survivor at the club from that side.
Today was the second time that an attendance of 3,076 has been recorded at the Abbey. The previous occasion was a 1-1 draw with Cardiff on 19th November 1993, Steve Claridge notching for the U's in his second spell at the club. He was partnered up front by Gary Rowett and supplied by a midfield comprising Simon Livett, Danny O'Shea, John Fowler and Kofi Nyamah. So it was a miracle that he scored at all!
Player Ratings
Potter 8. Commanded his area well and produced one stunning tip over from Wes Baynes.
Challinor 8. Proved his versatility with a gutsy and assured display at right-back.
Bolland 9. Did not put a foot wrong and kept the dangerous Louis in his pocket throughout.
Hatswell 8. Strong and assured as ever.
Tonkin 9. Came into his element in the new formation, forging forward effectively at every opportunity while remaining solid defensively.
Convery 8. Excellent return to the side with plenty of hard work and good quality passing.
Carden 9. Cards was always going to be up for this one and he didn't disappoint, a dominant figure from start to finish. And we can see why Wrexham wanted him... they had no-one in midfield to match him.
Brown 8. Very creditable effort after his injury layoff, DB was reliability personified and his passing was a veritable revelation.
Holroyd 9. What a tremendous prospect this boy is: intelligent, quick and skilful but steely to boot. Slotted into the new line-up like a dream.
Beesley 9. The side revolved around him.
McEvilly 9. Big Mac might not have scored, but his influence was stamped all over the game and Wrexham had no answer to his pace and power.
Match Summary
An experimental, makeshift United side produced its best performance of the season as every player hit form to steamroller a decent Wrexham team to a comfortable defeat. And they did it in beautiful footballing style, too.
Man of the Match
Mark Beesley. Our Gary knew he could make 4-3-3 work with a player of Bees' intelligence and quality at its hub, and he orchestrated the attack like the conductor of the Berlin Philharmonic. And the goals have started to flow too now.
Ref Watch
Sheldrake 9. Unobtrusive but firm, he only booked players when necessary and let a splendid game flow. Would that all refs are like this.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"The greatest achievement of the human spirit is to live up to one's opportunities and make the most of one's reserves." [Derby County, 3/10/92]
Hello... Goodbye
Today's birthday boys are two doughty battlers, Roger Gibbins [1955] and Ian Ashbee [1976]. Gibbins was a barnstorming stalwart of the early Eighties, playing exactly 100 League games in the black'n'amber, and looked and played like a half-man half-lion. Ashbee is, astoundingly, now the captain of a Premiership club... and he still plays in black and amber.
The third birthday celebrator, Justin Walker [1975] is the last person in the world you could describe as a 'doughty battler.' Some may say even 'footballer' might be pushing it a bit...
Two United legends made their debuts on this day in 1988: John Vaughan and Liam Daish. They both played in a 3-1 League Cup defeat at Gillingham, for whom future U Jason Lillis scored twice, but Chris Turner was already starting to build the side which John Beck would take to the brink of the Premier League, with Colin Bailie, Alan Kimble, Liam Daish, John Taylor and Chris Leadbitter already in the line-up.
Other 6th September debutants were tricky winger Mark Schiavi in a 2-2 draw at Hartlepool in 1986, and obscure striker Kevin Griffin, who debuted in a 1-0 home defeat to Hartlepool in 1975 but departed after seven games plus one as sub, his only goal the winner in a 1-0 win over Darlington on 4th October.
Soundtrack of the Day
Palais Schaumburg "Wir Bauen Eine Neue Stadt"
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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