Tuesday 2nd September 2008 - Ebbsfleet 1-1 U's: Fleet no-defeat feat
It's funny how the mind can wander when it is lacking stimulation. Midway through a fairly tedious first half notable mainly for the "Look at me!" antics of the referee, my gaze alighted upon the far end of Ebbsfleet's quaint little ground; now it had turned dark, the hill behind it was invisible and the only lights to be seen were those of the offices at the top, overlooking the pitch. With their eerie orange colouring and a flashing red light on top, it looked for all the world as if an alien UFO was hovering noiselessly above the home end. And the occupants must have been asking themselves one important question: who is that berk dressed in black who keeps blowing his whistle every thirty seconds? And why do all the spectators seem to hate him so? Is his music not to their liking? Truly, these Earthlings are a most mysterious race...
Victory at Stonebridge Road is certainly an alien concept to U's fans, who had endured a goalless draw and two defeats there since United joined the then Gravesend & Northfleet in the Conference in 2005. Indeed, United's only win there was on their last pre-Conf visit in April 1963, when a Matt McVittie brace saw the visitors grind out a 2-0 two-pointer.
The money has been rolling into this modest club over the last year with its takeover by MyFC.com and an FA Trophy win last season, but none of it seems to have gone on the ground, which still offers the least lovely approach in football with its overbearing advertising hoardings, scruffy, rusting tin shed of a stand backing onto the road, and a Steptoe's yard of a car park which consisted of more puddles than mud and had large areas fenced off to house excavating equipment and a motley collection of vintage buses and coaches. No wonder they are looking at relocation.
At least inside it was clean and tidy, if still on the ramshackle side, and it was nice to see that they still lay out the souvenir trestle table in one corner of the away end, laden with Ebbsfleet United goodies in case any visiting fan really has to buy an EUFC badge or similar item of memorabilia. And for all your modern all-seater stadia, it is nice to have a good old-fashioned open terrace upon which to gather... as long as the weather holds. The near-500-strong amber hordes were fortunate tonight as the skies were clear, the temperature only brought down by a persistent, cool wind whistling in and out of our nooks and crannies.
Injured pair Dan Gleeson and Courtney Pitt were out early, purchasing nourishing burgers from the refreshments van (I'm sure they are full of, er, goodness), and so was Danny Potter, warming up long before his colleagues emerged. The terrace began to fill gradually, as did the home sections, consisting of one modest seated stand, and semi-covered terraces along the other side and the opposite end.
For all their many thousands of subscribers, attendances remain modest at Stonebridge Road, with last season's average of 1,087 the lowest for four seasons despite cup success and Internet infamy. Indeed, the Fleet Trust page of the matchday programme revealed that only 24 people had thus far booked to travel with them to Forest Green on Saturday, so transport would either be a 39-seater coach or two minibuses.
On the field, Fleet are now an established BSP side in their seventh season at this level and possess a promising management team in former U's legends Liam Daish and Alan Kimble. The Abbey connection also extended to the team in the form of target man Michael Gash, who managed two goals in seven appearances plus nine as sub the season before last for United before returning to Cambridge City, where his goalscoring exploits last term got him a move back to this level. Another new Fleet signing was Jamie Hand, who was a fleeting trialist for United in August 2005 when a Watford player.
For United, the injury toll just keeps rising, and the absence of Dan Gleeson and Felino Jardim might have tempted Our Gary to opt for a different, perhaps more defensive formation, but he stuck gamely to his adventurous two-winger 4-4-2 system, with scholar Rory McAuley (above, with Stuart Bimson) drafted in for his debut at right-back and Chris Jones stepping in for Jardim wide left. Danny Brown made his first bench appearance of the season.
The memory of our last visit to Northfleet, the Easter Monday live TV game, still loomed large in the memory, when a gallant United side was sunk by the diving antics of John Akinde which got Danny Potter sent off and forced the U's to enlist the services of Mark Peters in goal. United still only lost 2-1, and that might have been even better had Magno Vieira somehow failed to score after sprinting half the length of the pitch towards an open goal. Funny how we never signed him permanently.
Akinde was sold earlier in the week to Bristol City, the Internet fanbase actually getting to vote on something more exciting than which flavours of Panda Pops to sell, so at least he would not come back to haunt us.
The match set off at a brisk pace, Fleet probing down their left against the inexperienced United flank of McAuley and Robbie Willmott, and it soon became apparent that the hosts would be using the full width of the pitch in their efforts to breach the U's rearguard. The visitors, however, matched them in equally robust style and early exchanges were inconclusive.
First corner fell to United on 11, but Willmott's effort failed to make it past the near post, and centre-back Paul McCarthy narrowly beat Mark Beesley to a dangerous cross a couple of minutes later. Tonight's referee, though, was our old friend Mr Hopkins, in whose book physical contact is a no-no but not quite as serious an offence as querying a decision made by the all-important man in black, and one of the BSP's top card issuers got his muscular card-flourishing arm working on 17 with a booking for Gash for a pretty innocuous-looking push on Wayne Hatswell.
To define the next fifteen minutes' 'action' as forgettable would be an understatement on a par with stating that Manchester City's new owners have got a few quid and are slightly mad. And Robinho is a tad over-priced. Passing moves were few and far between as every challenge was penalised and the match jerked between stop and start like a clown's jalopy.
Hopkins started booking players in pairs on 27, Hand carded for a clumsy collision with Hatswell and Stacy Long also seeing yellow for complaining about it. Next minute Beesley went for a through ball with Darius Charles, and despite any 'foul' being marginal to say the least, the man in black seemed to cave in to the Fleet crowd and bench's complaints and booked the United man, too. Four cards in half an hour: well on course as usual.
There was the odd flash of decent football amidst the dross. Fleet's preposterously-coiffed left-back (bleach blond Mohican, anyone?) Sasha Opinel blasted a shot over on 33, while an excellent Willmott cross four minutes later found the head of Jones in the middle, but he nodded narrowly over.
Fleet began to find their passing game, again using both flanks effectively, and one move culminated in a Long shot that he spooned over on 39, then on 42 a promising Hand scudder was deflected just past the far post by Phil Bolland's pipe-cleaner shin. Lee McEvilly drove a low shot wide at the other end, but on the stroke of half-time United took a lead that neither side really deserved.
United gained a corner on the left and Willmott arced it in right-footed; it cleared the near post, bounced across the six-yard box, and there was McEvilly pouncing to ram home from close range. 1-0!
There was barely time to kick off again before the half-time whistle went, and for Our Gary it was a case of never mind the quality, feel the score. But he would be under no illusion that part two would be anything more than a tough struggle.
The start of part two saw the Continental-style explosion of an orange flare from the amber army together with some yellow toilet-roll style streamers, leaving a lingering smell like someone had let off a dozen cap guns, briefly attracting the attention of the small number of police officers at the away end, but there was no damage done.
United made a lively start, Jon Challinor sending Beesley clear with a perceptive ball over the top that beat the offside trap, but although Bees' low shot for the far post was accurate, it did not carry sufficient power to get past keeper Lance Cronin.
Up the other end Gash was foiled by an Anthony Tonkin block, but on 52 the hosts were level in untidy fashion. Neil Barrett burst through from midfield onto a high ball, which was heading wide of goal, but in a rare misjudgement Potter raced from his line, was beaten to it by Barrett out by the byline, and he crossed into the middle where Luke Moore slid into the empty net under vain challenge from Bolland. 1-1.
United responded well and for the next fifteen minutes dominated possession, finally starting to get their passing game together so that even Hopkins could not interrupt too much, for the time being. A blatant McCarthy handball gave the U's a free-kick out on the right on 57, and Willmott touched it inside for Hatswell to try a shot, but it was all too laboured and predictable and by the time Hats had got his shot away, George Purcell had closed down to within a few yards and blocked comfortably.
On the hour Hatswell's ball over the top sent McEvilly galloping away like a startled rhino, but he was stopped in his tracks on the edge of the box by a superb saving tackle from McCarthy, then Jones cut inside but scuffed a feeble shot wide. Hopkins got his card arm working again on 64 when Opinel cut Willmott down in his tracks, although he should already have been booked for that haircut, and as United kept up the pressure, Carden sneaked a through ball to McAuley who tucked home but saw a debut goal disallowed for the most marginal of offsides by a linesman on the main stand side whose flag hand was twitchier than someone handing a cigar to Joey Barton.
Chris Holroyd replaced the slightly disappointing Jones, who had worked hard to little effect, in a straight swap, then after Potter had saved a Purcell drive, Willmott fed McEvilly out on the right. Big Mac showed Charles the ball, beat him, cut inside and curled a wicked shot goalwards which was parried by Cronin; McCarthy tried to clear, fell on the ball and seemed to clearly control the ball with his hands, almost picking the thing up, but somehow both ref and linesman missed it, and Beesley's subsequent shot was crowded out.
This was surely a turning point in the match. United needed to score while they were on top, and had they taken the lead again with twenty minutes to go, the worst thing that could have happened to them would have been for Ebbsfleet to have a player sent off and 'do a Weymouth.' A minute later Beesley arrowed a tremendous shot for the top corner but it just fizzed over, and United's dominant spell fizzled out.
The hosts gained booking number five on 71 when Holroyd was felled by Luke Moore and Mark Ricketts was carded for complaining (foul OK, dissent no way), then they broke into the U's half and Barrett hammered a tremendous long-range blaster against the bar. This heralded a revival for Ebbsfleet after a quarter-hour absorbing United pressure, and they resumed their assault down both wings, their style simple but effective.
Gash was brought down by Challinor on 74 and Long's free-kick swung menacingly across the box but was knocked behind by McEvilly at the far post, then there was a nasty clash of heads between Bolland and McCarthy in which the U's man appeared to have been knocked unconscious, but after a couple of minutes' treatment both tough-as-teak men were raring to resume.
Ten minutes from time Holroyd was pulled up for fouling Charles and this time it was McEvilly's turn to be booked for questioning the decision, and with the hosts still in the ascendant but United defending their point doughtily, Daish made a change on 85, replacing Purcell with Kezie Ibe, pronounced 'eBay' although I don't think that's where they found him.
Ibe attracted a foul from Bolland on 88 which cost the United man the game's eighth booking, a preposterous count for a match which had been keenly contested but had never been dirty, and in added time there were palpitations in the U's defence when they failed to clear a through ball, and it fell for Gash with the goal at his mercy but Potter dived low to make an excellent block. Still danger threatened as the rebound fell for Barrett, but Tonkin was there to clear off the line and save a deserved point for the visitors.
Hopkins finally got a chance to brandish the red card he had doubtless been itching to produce in the last minute when McAuley made an honest but over-enthusiastic challenge that caught both the ball and Opinel, and the theatrical Frenchman went down as if he had been attacked with a scythe. It resulted in an instant dismissal for the United youngster, a sad and undeserved ending to a good, hard-working first-team debut.
It was a shame the match had to end on such a sour note, but it could not spoil a battling point for Our Gary's depleted troops against a hard-to-beat team on a ground which rarely yields anything for United. Definitely a point gained rather than two lost despite the penalty that never was, and an encouraging note on which to face Wrexham on Saturday. The stand-ins have done the U's proud, but let us hope the treatment table is a trifle more empty by then. We want those aliens to see the real United...
Statto Corner
Rory McAuley became the fifth member of a club no-one wants to join tonight: players sent off on their League debut for Cambridge United.
The first was striker Steve Slade in a 1-1 draw at Bournemouth on 19th August 2000. Next came the legendary Igor Latte-Yedo in a 2-1 defeat at Wycombe on 7th August 2004, followed by Danny Bunce at Morecambe (1-0, 12th November 2005) and the only one dismissed in a home game, and as a substitute, Marvin Robinson in our 1-1 draw with Aldershot last September.
Not one of those players managed more than thirteen League games in the black'n'amber, but none of them were youth products like young Rory, so let us hope he has a long and fruitful career at the Abbey.
For those who remember walking disaster area and player-manager of the mid-1980s, John Ryan, he was sent off in his third and fourth League games for United, out of a grand total of five appearances. The infamous Billy Manuel played in a total of 10 League matches for the U's during 1994-95 and was awarded an early bath in the seventh, eighth and tenth of those contests. Funnily enough, he was not selected again...
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Safe hands apart, sadly, from his rush from goal which led to Ebbsfleet's equaliser.
McAuley 7. Thoroughly respectable debut until his unfortunate last-minute dismissal.
Bolland 8. Towering presence at the back.
Hatswell 8. Strong and reliable as ever.
Tonkin 7. Put in a decent shift.
Willmott 6. Still learning his trade but more valuable experience.
Carden 8. Excellent as ever.
Challinor 8. Sterling contribution.
Jones 6. Never gave up, although struggled to make much of an impression.
McEvilly 8. Thoroughly impressive line leader and goal machine.
Beesley 7. Got through a load of good work as usual.
Holroyd 7. Lively and promising sub.
Match Summary
United gained a hard-won and thoroughly deserved point at a ground where it is always difficult to get a result, in an entertaining contest despite the antics of a ref who seemed to be suffering from some sort of attention-seeking disorder.
Man of the Match
Paul Carden. Worked like a Trojan in the hub of United's midfield.
Ref Watch
Hopkins 3. As usual, what could potentially have been an excellent game of football was turned into the John Hopkins Show with any flow constantly disrupted by his incessant whistling, lecturing and an absurdly unnecessary number of cards for a match which was always competitive but never nasty. If we want to pay money to watch a strutting, out-of-touch buffoon showing off, we will buy a ticket to Jim Davidson's next stand-up show.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"History asks: Did the man have integrity? Did the man have unselfishness? Did the man have courage? Did the man have consistency?" [Reading, 21/8/91]
Hello... Goodbye
The 2nd of September brings 'Happy Birthday' tidings to former U's Jonas Axeldal (1970), Lee Boylan (1978) and Gavin 'Search For The' Heeroo (1982). Axeldal now scouts in Scandinavia for his old Ipswich Town team-mate Jim Magilton while Heeroo is trundling around the Ryman League for Sutton United. Boylan is warming the bench for BSP strugglers Stevenage.
Debut boys on the day include 'Tiny' Tom Youngs, in a 4-1 home win over Colchester in 1997, Ritchie Hanlon in a 1-0 away defeat at York in 2005, and Gary 'less successful twin brother of Alan' Kimble, who made his first U's appearance almost two months before his sibling in 1986 in a 1-0 home win over Orient.
This day also saw the last game in black'n'amber for combative left-back Dean Barrick, in a corking 3-3 draw at Preston in 1995, winger Tony Towner in the same game in which Gary Kimble made his debut, and for striker Terry Owen, who made his first and last League appearance for United in a goalless draw at his former club Chester in 1977. Barrick went on to join Preston, Towner to some non-League outfit called Gravesend & Northfleet, and Owen returned to the North-West with Rochdale, although arguably his finest moment came in 1979 when he fathered a son called Michael, who turned out to be an infinitely better footballer than his dad, albeit about fifty times more injury-prone…
Soundtrack of the Day
The Peth 'Let's Go F***ing Mental'
Parky's Pick of the Pops
Andy Parkinson lends an ear to the Stonebridge Road sounds. "All right, lads and lasses? I've always had a broad taste in music, me, I listen to both sorts: Scouse and non-Scouse. Scouse is best, of course, although whenever I hear lovely Cilla I do tend to be reminded of fingers scraping down a blackboard - sorry, luv!
"Anyway, there was plenty of variety at Ebbsfleet, starting with some hard rock from Europe and Whitesnake, a bit of AOR from Huey Lewis, Billy Idol and Alannah Myles, some pop from Take That, Keane and Mika, some singer-songwriter types Paulo Nutini and Amy MacDonald, and a bit of indie from The Twang and Travis. All very pleasant and undemanding, I suppose, but where's the PASSION, eh? Where is the snarl of John Lennon, the sincerity of Gerry Marsden, the calls-to-arms of Pete Wylie, the Frog Chorus of Paul McCartney? Sorry, forget the last one.
"U2's 'Beautiful Day' made for reasonably rousing entrance music, but overall, it was all a bit, well, anodyne, know what I mean? Too much brain, not enough HEART, I reckon. I'm off to listen to some Bunnymen! Never walk alone! PPP verdict: 4/10"
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
More Match Photos
The views expressed on this page are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cambridge United Football Club or the webmaster.
