Saturday 16th August 2008 - U's 2-1 Barrow: Hats' trick makes keeper sick
Richard Madeley's impersonation of Ali G. Gordon Brown's laughable impression of a Prime Minister. Joey Barton's pitiful attempts at being a decent human being. We all have times in our lives when we wish we could become invisible to avoid some hideous embarrassment or humiliation; and all the more so if there are thousands of people watching.
Over the years the Abbey has enjoyed many such moments: Marc Joseph's goal celebrations for Posh in front of the NRE only to find it had been disallowed, Paul Raynor getting sent off for head-butting his team-mate Mick Heathcote, every delicious second of the legendary Jon Parkin. Now the hitherto unknown name of Tim Deasy can be added to this illustrious pantheon; not so much for the way he fumbled a long-range Wayne Hatswell free-kick into his own net, but for the way he hid, cringing, in the back of his net afterwards, doubled up against the scorn of the NRE while trying to convince us that he was in fact injured. But more of that later.
United last crossed swords with Barrow on 15th April 1972, a David Lill goal giving the U's a 1-0 win at the Abbey. The Cumbrian club lost its League status that year and has since spent 22 years in the Northern Premier League, ten in the Conference and the last four in the Conference North, having survived administration and expulsion from the Conference and come good with a remarkable run of 16 wins in their last 20 games to make the playoffs last season where they defeated Telford and Stalybridge.
A strong start to the season, top of the league after two matches, suggests that this is more than just a side of obscure non-League journeymen. We have met several of them before, in fact: left-back Ryan Elderton for Lancaster City in the FA Cup in November 2003, midfielder Mark Boyd for Southport the season before last, winger Carlos Logan for Altrincham last term, striker Paul Tait for Rochdale in 2004-05 and in that same Southport side as Boyd. And joint manager Darren Sheridan faced the U's many times for Wigan and Oldham, and was in fact sent off last time he met United for Oldham in a 2-2 Boundary Park draw in March 2002, when a Rick Holden goal in the seventh minute of added time robbed the visitors of their first away win of the season. They never did get one that term.
The U's unsurprisingly retained the same line-up which started on Tuesday against Kidderminster, only change being on the bench where new boy Chris Holroyd replaced Darren Quinton. The visitors' side seemed to be full of six-footers, with a centre-back pairing of Steve McNulty, who must be the widest player seen at the Abbey since Matt 'Michelin Man' Redmile, and Paul Jones, a defender with a head of grey hair which made him look about 55, but who turned out to be only thirty. So he wasn't the one that was in Manfred Mann in the Sixties then...
It was a pleasantly warm afternoon with intermittent sunshine dot-dashing from between pale grey clouds, and a lively breeze ruffling the lush green turf of the TRS pitch. United lost the toss and attacked the NRE in the first half, and early exchanges were even as Barrow revealed themselves to be a hard-working team which believed in keeping football simple, sticking to your basic 4-4-2 and looking to push long balls down the channels. Their effectiveness from set pieces would reveal itself later.
Lee McEvilly tried the first shot on 6, controlling Danny Potter's lengthy kick with his ample chest and banging a volley a few feet over the bar. His header from a Dan Gleeson cross met a similar fate two minutes later, but United kept the pressure on with a couple of Felino Jardim corners, well dealt with by the visitors' big boys.
Much of United's early play was directed down the right where Robbie Willmott is growing in confidence with every game, and he nearly got the breakthrough on 12 when he ran onto Paul Carden's ball down the channel, held off his marker at full pelt, and arrowed a shot towards the top corner which Deasy was forced to palm away.
McEvilly combined with Mark Beesley on the quarter hour to turn and flash a shot narrowly wide of the right-hand post, while Barrow's first corner on 18 demonstrated their aerial power, although Wayne Hatswell seemed again to be playing while bouncing on an invisible pogo stick.
The U's began to remember that they had a left-winger, too, and Jardim ghosted in to an opening created by Beesley to place a shot into Deasy's outstretched gloves on 25. Beesley tested the Bluebirds keeper in similar fashion a minute later, but the visitors were very much in the game in terms of possession, just unable to create clear chances on goal.
Jardim has been involved in most of the goals United have scored so far this season, and he kept up his record on 29. Fed by Jon Challinor wide left, he shuffled forward, cut inside and sped into space before blasting low for goal from the edge of the box; Deasy sprawled to stop it but could only parry and with both U's strikers lurking for scraps, it was McEvilly who got the ball out from under his feet and rolled it into the empty goal. 1-0.
Barrow responded forcefully, and amid a crowded United area it bagatelled to Lee Hunt, whose goalbound effort was blocked by a lunging Hatswell, and Potter did well to punch clear Elderton's follow-up cross under substantial pressure. Suddenly United broke away in the shape of Willmott, but the youngster failed to make a decision when he reached the Barrow box and was dispossessed.
Hunt had a shot collected by Potter on 33, and three minutes later they were level. Carden conceded a free-kick by fouling Andy Bond out on the left, Boyd curled in the free-kick and it was nicked on to Tait whose header looped into the top right corner past Potter's flailing, helpless hands. 1-1.
Tails up, Barrow took the game to their hosts, displaying all the confidence that a long winning run tends to engender. Another corner led to a Hunt header over the top as their gallant band of 135 supporters cheered them on spiritedly. But they were silenced again on 39.
Jardim darted through on halfway, only to be cynically body-checked by Mike Pearson, who received a merited yellow card. United loaded up the box as Hatswell set his sights for the free-kick some 40 yards out, in a similar position to that from which he scored that astounding goal against Forest Green last season. Just as then, the opposing keeper was anticipating a cross, and just as then, the United defender let fly for goal with stunning power. This time Deasy was behind it, but in a comical display of juggling, he fumbled it behind him and into the waiting goal. 2-1!
The amber hordes greeted the goal with a mixture of acclaim and laughter, and Deasy went into a kneeling position right in the back of the corner of the goal with his head pressed to the ground, not unlike Basil Fawlty having a nervous breakdown. He stayed there for what seemed like an eternity, evidently claiming some sort of injury, although one would venture to suggest that the trainer who came on could do little to treat hurt pride and damaged dignity. Perhaps they should have called for a counsellor instead.
Deasy was eventually teased from his hiding place and resumed after some trainer TLC. The United team seemed to have some sympathy for him, judging by the comedy goal they tried to present to his team three minutes later: Hunt and Phil Bolland chased a through ball down the right channel, Bolland seemed to have it under control and waited for Potter to come out and clear. But a hideous misunderstanding ensued, Potter failed to take action and Hunt nipped between them to toepoke towards the now-empty goal. Relief, however, was at hand in the shape of Gleeson, who chased back as the ball trundled inexorably for the line, and he cleared just before it entered the net. Good defending, from Glees at least.
McEvilly demonstrated some nice footwork by dancing around Jones on the left byline and heading for goal, but the silver-haired skipper just got his toe to the ball to clear for a corner before Big Mac could essay a cross or shot. The half-time whistle came shortly afterwards to signal a well-deserved break for two competitive teams who had given their all in a most entertaining spectacle. A bit like the Olympics without the medals. Or the smog. Bet that Usain Bolt would make a decent winger.
Carden did not emerge for the second half as United's bad injury luck continued, Ben Farrell stepping in after his narrow escape from the clutches of Messrs Beck and Fallon during the week. The teams continued to attack each other energetically, Boyd's free-kick from wide nodded clear from close to the line by Bolland, while Willmott and Jardim combined well for a speedy break up the other end that came to naught.
United had a little spell where McEvilly got in the way of a Hatswell blaster and Pearson charged down a Beesley shot, but Barrow were giving as good as they were getting and it was clear that the U's were going to have to battle all the way for the points against the visitors' muscular probings.
Bolland miscontrolled on 59 and chased after the ball while Logan sped in from the opposite direction, and for some reason the U's defender went in studs-up against the little winger in a rather nasty challenge which fortunately did not seriously injure the Barrow man. Ref Amy Rayner had been in lenient mood all afternoon and she duly showed Bolland yellow when no-one would have been surprised to see red: a let-off for United.
Logan was, however, unable to continue, although he had not helped his case by getting up immediately after the foul then going down clutching his ankle about a minute later, after Bolland's booking, to the Habbin's disgust. His unsubtle spit towards the stand, onto the track just in front it, was however uncalled for. He was replaced by Paul Brown and Boyd curled the free-kick hopelessly out of play.
Nick Rogan came on for Hunt on 63 as Barrow pressed for a second equaliser. Challinor had a shot comfortably stopped by Deasy, then Elderton blasted wide, but the visitors carved themselves a good chance on 67 when Tait sent a borderline offside Matt Henney through down the middle. However, Anthony Tonkin chased back and put the Barrow wide man under sufficient pressure for him to fire the wrong side of the post.
A good run by Beesley a minute later culminated in a cross that just eluded Jardim, then Rogan made to dash past Bolland but fell theatrically to the ground as he brushed by the United man's right hand. Not terribly convincing, and although Rayner gave the free-kick, she did not deem it worthy of a second yellow.
Thankfully a contest that could have spilled over into nastiness never did, showing that although Barrow are a large, physical side, they play it clean, as do the U's (mostly). They did, however, rely on the goodwill of the ref to award them some rather soft free-kicks out on the flanks, which permitted them to pile the pressure on the home rearguard, but they stood firm with the stout assistance of McEvilly.
Jones headed a Boyd free-kick wide on 72, Challinor hammered just over a couple of minutes later, and on 77 Chris Jones entered the fray in place of Willmott after another performance of rich promise. The Welshman looked lively, with pace and a neat touch, and his first contribution was to cut inside and flick a superb crossfield ball to send Jardim away down the left. United poured into the box, and it was Jones who saw his shot tremendously blocked by Deasy; the ball ran out to the right byline, Gleeson crossed it back in and McEvilly had a free header five yards out, but with all the goal to aim at, he nodded straight into the relieved Deasy's arms.
The U's came just as close to doubling their lead again a minute later. Jardim's pass sent Tonkin haring down the left and his low cross found Beesley sneaking in unmarked at the near post, but somehow Deasy blocked on his line to compensate a little for his first-half gaffe.
After that flurry, both sides seemed to sit back for a few minutes to catch their collective breath and the defences held sway. A minute from the end of normal time, however, Jardim received a pass wide left and was clattered hideously into the air by Pearson as he was beaten by the little Dutchman's speed and skill. It was a clear yellow card, and being his second, Pearson was ordered from the field. He could have no complaints, although knowing modern footballers, he probably did anyway.
United retained possession well in the three added minutes, final shot going to Challinor after a nice move, but he blazed wildly wide. No matter: next second it was all over and it was played three, won three for this new-look U's side. They had worked very hard for this latest victory, and Barrow deserved credit for being spirited, stubborn opponents who, although not exactly subtle, do not play route one and should survive comfortably in the BSP on the evidence so far.
'We are top of the league' always sounds good, but after today we can be under no illusions that our next two games, also against newly-promoted teams, will not be challenging, notwithstanding Eastbourne's rather porous-looking defence. But this United side needs fear no-one, even if the injury list is mounting by the week. They will be embarrassing many more opponents by the time this season is out!
Statto Corner
It is always nice to be able to talk about record winning runs from the start of the season. This season's three equals last term's mark which was halted by a goalless draw with Woking in match four. That run equalled the beginning of 1991-92, which was boosted to five with home-and-away victories over Reading in the League Cup until an Ian Benjamin goal consigned United to a 1-0 Abbey defeat by Southend.
You would have to go back to the 1928-29 Cambs League Division One campaign to find five consecutive league wins from the start of the season in a memorable run which included an 8-1 battering of Cottenham United and an 11-2 slaughter of Histon Institute. Those spoilsports of Cambridge Town Reserves brought that run to an end.
Barrow fell victim to the Football League election system, involving the bottom four-placed clubs plus any non-League clubs who wanted to apply, in 1972, two years after our own Mighty U's gained entry by the same means at the expense of Bradford Park Avenue, who actually finished sixth in the voting with Northern Premier League Wigan Athletic also polling more votes than them.
Barrow were replaced by Hereford United, who had only finished second in the Southern League to Chelmsford City, but gained votes due to their famous FA Cup run in which they defeated Newcastle United. In the first round of voting Northampton, Crewe and Stockport secured safe re-election while Barrow and Hereford tied on 26 votes; the only other votes went (one each) to Bradford Park Avenue, Wimbledon and (yes!) Cambridge City. In the second ballot, Hereford won 29-20 and Barrow were consigned to the Northern Premier League, in which the devastated Bluebirds finished in the bottom three for the next five seasons in those pre-relegation days.
Only two more clubs were elected to the League by this system before it was replaced by automatic promotion and relegation (subject to conditions) in 1986-87: Southern League champions Wimbledon replaced Barrow's Cumbrian neighbours Workington in 1977, and Wigan finally got into the League a year later in a second-ballot runoff with Southport. Like Hereford, Wigan had only finished runners-up in their league, coming second to Boston United in the NPL.
Player Ratings
Potter 8. Coped pretty well with Barrow's barrage of free-kicks and corners into his crowded box.
Gleeson 7. Quietly decent game with the highlight his excellent goal-line clearance to save the win.
Bolland 7. Strong foil for Hatswell, although lucky to stay on the pitch when he clattered Logan.
Hatswell 9. Inspirational.
Tonkin 8. Kept the misplaced passes to a minimum and allied safe defending with some buccaneering forward support.
Willmott 8. Confidence growing by the game and at times his running and dribbling caused chaos in the Barrow defence.
Carden 7. Fairly average 45 minutes by his own high standards.
Challinor 7. Did not hit the box-to-box heights of the last two games, but a good solid team performance.
Jardim 8. One of those rare players who give you a frisson of excitement every time they get the ball, he should have been given more supply than he received today.
Beesley 7. Never has a bad game, but this was a relatively below-par display by another player whose past efforts have set the bar particularly high.
McEvilly 8. Always a thorn in the Bluebirds' side, and long may that happy goalscoring knack remain.
Farrell 8. Decent second half to celebrate his narrow escape from Histon.
Jones 7. Very promising appearance off the bench with plenty of pace and skill. Hope to see more of him soon.
Match Summary
United powered to victory number three in similar fashion to victories one and two: good teamwork, tireless effort and exciting flashes of high skill. There will be no easy games in this league this season... but Gary Brabin's U's are ready for each and every one.
Man of the Match
Wayne Hatswell. Hats has enjoyed a phenomenal start to the season, looking unbeatable in the air or on the floor, and his free-kick special was the icing on a very sweet cake indeed.
Ref Watch
Rayner 6. The divine Amy has her knockers (if you'll pardon the expression) but today's performance was an encouraging improvement on previous efforts, with notably more tolerance towards tackling and cards, plus good application of the advantage rule. She still has some way to go, but the new 'mellow' Amy might just make the League list yet.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"I have learned that success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome while trying to succeed." [Sunderland, 1/9/92]
Hello... Goodbye
The 16th of August has marked several momentous debuts for the U's. Alan Biley first entered the fray, doubtless with long sleeves pulled down to almost cover his hands, at Doncaster on this day in 1975, and he scored two minutes from time as sub to seal a 2-0 win. His goalscoring feats were only surpassed by John Taylor some two decades later.
Steve Spriggs also made his first start that day, and besides being the smallest player ever to grace the black'n'amber (Felino Jardim would tower over him), he went on to make 463 League and cup appearances for the U's, plus 5 as sub, surely a record which will never be beaten. Scott Rendell (remember him?) and John Dreyer (I've tried to forget him) were also United debutants on this day.
16th August 1978 marked the last game in United colours for Sammy Morgan, a 2-1 League Cup defeat at Northampton, who departed soon after for Sparta Rotterdam following a row with boss John Docherty. Morgan did not lack skill but was a violent battering ram of a centre-forward, in marked contrast to the relaxed, pleasant, glasses-wearing Morgan off the field. Shame the reverse seems to be true of certain players today. All together now: "Six foot two, eyes of blue, Sammy Morgan's after you..."
Soundtrack of the Day
Liam Finn 'Second Chance
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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