Tuesday 12th August 2008 - U's 2-1 Kidderminster: U's undo the Hoodoo
The relentless, hypnotic rhythm of the pounding drums and chanting; the ecstatic dancers, trembling and convulsing as the spirit possesses them; the slaughter of the goat and the ritual drinking of its blood as the soul of the animal is released to rejuvenate the 'loa,' or spirit. No, not an outdoor rave in Histon (Recreation Ground, 7.30 for 8, admission £7.50 including a complimentary glass of Pimm's and entry to the meat raffle), but the sort of voodoo ritual that must have taken place in Kidderminster back in 1959 after their football team had been defeated by the Mighty U's. Surely only that could have explained United's complete failure to defeat the Harriers again in the intervening 49 years.
But even voodoo, it seems, has an expiry date, and Gary Brabin's stormtroopers were in just the mood to break the spell on a mild but gusty evening with skies dominated by a strange, portentous cloud formation of faded orange and inky blue, billowing ominously across the heavens as if it were about to disgorge a huge alien spaceship with thousands of winking lights at any moment. This would be a close encounter indeed.
Kidderminster's Indian sign over the U's was particularly prominent last season, winning 1-0 at Aggborough despite being thoroughly outplayed, then in late March coming to the Abbey and picking off a comfortable 3-0 victory. Of that side, six Harriers started on Tuesday night, including former U's loanee Darryl Knights, while remarkably only two of United's starting line-up from March had survived to start again this season, Wayne Hatswell and Paul Carden, and only another couple [Josh Coulson and Courtney Pitt] remain at the club.
There was only one enforced change to the black'n'amber line-up from Saturday's win at Northwich, Andy Parkinson's sickener of a training injury providing an opportunity for Robbie Willmott to start on the right in an exciting attacking two-winger formation. If the Wembley aftermath and ensuing close season had been notable mainly for their unrelentingly negative vibes, the Brabin era has heralded a new positive outlook which has been taken up by the fans with enthusiasm.
The BSP has chosen to ape the Premier League this season by getting the teams to line up side by side before kick-off then show what nice boys they are by walking the line, shaking each other by the hand before breaking off for last-minute warming up. This is not, thankfully, preceded by some pretentious anthem as in the Prem or the Champions League; I imagine if it were, something like the theme from the Benny Hill Show would be most appropriate, especially if it got the players to speed things up and run around patting each other on the head.
The temperature was mild but conditions were as wild and windy as a flatulent ferret. The teams went at each other from the off, and Kiddie looked impressive opponents with plenty of neat, intricate inter-passing through midfield, although their final-ball attempts to set up one of their strikers were inevitably foiled by the rock-like Hatswell and Phil Bolland. United were on the back foot during the opening few minutes, but geed up by dynamic central pairing Paul Carden and Jon Challinor, they soon got a grip on the game.
First shot on 3 came from Harriers' Andy Ferrell, sailing hopelessly over the bar, and the mercurial Felino Jardim had United's first effort on goal four minutes later, his low scudder stopped by keeper Adam Bartlett. The teams then exchanged corners, and on 13 Willmott showed the opposition a clean pair of heels with a superb break from Bolland's clearance, beating three opponents before finding Jardim with a clever reverse pass which was foiled by the offside flag.
Kiddie had gone like-for-like, leaving both United wingers faced with an immediate marker in front of the relevant full-back, and the contest swung entertainingly back and forth as both sides probed for a opening. Excellent work on the byline by Willmott set up Beesley for a clear shot on goal from twelve yards but his scuffed effort was cleared, Jardim fired wide and Lee McEvilly had a header from Jardim's corner punched clear by Bartlett in a splendid five-minute spell from the hosts, but the deadlock remained.
Harriers' build-up play was still neat and clever but always promised more than it delivered as the United back line stood firm. Last season's nemesis, Matthew Barnes-Homer, stung Danny Potter's gloves with a turn and shot on 24, but three minutes later the U's made the breakthrough in fine style.
Challinor, working tirelessly from box to box, picked up possession a few yards outside the Kiddie area and sliced their rearguard apart with a perceptive ball through to Mark Beesley to the left of goal. Bartlett moved towards him and Bees slid it across the keeper, whose touch could only help it into the centre where McEvilly was waiting to slot home from close range past two defenders. 1-0.
The visitors responded well to enjoy a spell of pressure of their own, and it almost paid off on 31 when Knights' run culminated in a little through ball that sent Simon Russell clear just inside the box, but with only Potter to beat, his low, underpowered shot was well blocked by the alert U's keeper's splendid save and the ball was eventually cleared away by the massed home defence.
A couple more Kiddie corners ensued, McEvilly prominent aerially as he helped his defence out, and former Posh flop Justin Richards' flailing overhead kick flew well wide on 39, the ball kept in play and knocked back for Ferrell to blast wide.
First booking of the night came in the last minute of the half, Ferrell punished for a crude felling of Challinor, but the ref didn't want to know soon after when Jardim clashed with Michael Bowler on the right, having swapped wings, some shirt pulling and pushing from both parties ignored by the man in black who had also been in charge when the sides last met in March.
Beesley almost latched onto a Carden through ball in the dying seconds but was just beaten to it by Bartlett, then the whistle heralded the end of an enjoyable and entertaining first half full of good football and a lot of hard graft. So far, so good.
Part two resumed in similar style, with both sides willing to have a pop at goal. Knights flashed an impressive 20-yarder inches past the post on 49, Russell forced a diving save from Potter with another long-range drive a minute later, then on 52 Beesley spotted Bartlett off his line, but the keeper was back quickly to clutch the United striker's lob.
Jardim had not had to endure the agricultural 'tackling' he had suffered on Saturday, but he developed a running feud with Russell Penn for which both players were lectured. This season sees the introduction of a rule whereby only the captain can discuss matters with the ref on the field, and as tempers began to fray and tackles began to fly, Kiddie skipper Mark Creighton was compelled to make regular trots upfield from his defensive position for the odd chit-chat. Lucky Bartlett wasn't skipper.
There was briefly a danger of the match becoming untidier than Mark Clattenburg's finances, but on 58 there was a moment of quality when Ferrell brought Challinor down 25 yards out and McEvilly lined up the free-kick with the memory of Burton still fresh in everyone's minds. His flashing effort soared over the wall, but flew narrowly wide of the far post. Good try.
Just before the hour Harriers withdrew Knights in favour of Martin Brittain, and just after the hour came the magic moment of the match. Jardim gained possession out deep on the right, cut inside, looked up, and seeing McEvilly lurking past the last defender at the far post, arrowed over the most inch-perfect cross you will ever see; it dropped unerringly over the jumping defender's head, and Big Mac did not even have to move as it dropped onto his shiny bonce and, with one powerful thrust of his bulging neck muscles, he hammered his header past the helpless Bartlett from six yards out. What a corker: 2-0!
Kiddie tried to respond, Carden's foul on Barnes-Homer presenting Brittain with a free-kick on 64 which was deflected behind by the end of the wall, and Richards nodded Ferrell's cross wide on 68, but thereafter the visitors looked like a spent force resigned to their fate.
The competition for most ridiculous booking of the season opened on 70 when Challinor went to take a throw-in halfway into the Kiddie half and McEvilly, who had been off the pitch receiving treatment, ambled gingerly back on. Challinor seemed to be waiting for a signal for the ref, but instead of simply telling him to get on with it, the jobsworth in black promptly marched up to him and brandished a yellow card for the ludicrous crime of 'timewasting.' How can a referee be so unaware of what is going on around him? Oh yes, he's a ref.
Another tremendous run from deep by Beesley on 72 onto Challinor's through ball found him clear on goal but wide in the right channel. As Bartlett came off his line, then hesitated halfway out (how Marshallesque), Bees attempted a lob on the run, but miscued a very difficult chance and it dropped gently into the relieved keeper's arms.
Ferrell gamely essayed another long shot up the other end and found only Row Z of the Marston's Smooth Stand - at least he was consistent - then the industrious Russell was replaced by David McDermott, but United were now fully in charge. A series of three excellent corners by Jardim from the right was repelled with some difficulty by the visitors, then on 77 came another outrageous booking from ref Halliday as he carded the little Dutchman for a perfectly good tackle on Brittain in which he clearly won the ball. Should have gone to Specsavers.
Barnes-Homer headed McDermott's free-kick onto the roof of the net a minute later, followed by a marvellous break from United, a ball out of defence finding Jardim in the middle, who waited for Anthony Tonkin to make the overlapping run past him before sending him away down the left with a pinpoint pass. The flying full-back delivered a perfect cross, and Beesley got on the end of it only to head only just wide of the far post. Great break.
Loanee Chris Jones made his home debut on 82 in place of Willmott, who had not been so prominent in the second half after a splendidly buccaneering first, but the contest seemed to be petering out into a comfortable home win. Beesley almost made in three on 88, cutting inside and curling a tremendous shot just over from 20 yards, but it was not quite all over. This is Cambridge United, after all.
In the last minute of normal time Creighton's toepoke from a corner was half-cleared by Hatswell, Penn drove it low back into the crowded box, and Richards stuck out a foot to stab home from close range past a furious Potter. 2-1.
All of a sudden, the spectre of the previously near-forgotten Kidderminster bogey raised its ugly head again. Surely not, not this time. Carden was next for a contentious booking, appearing to win the ball first as he dispossessed Penn, but the away side's midfield man got caught on the follow-through and after a few minutes' treatment was unable to continue and was replaced by Dean Bennett.
Still the free-kick was delayed, the ref gesturing at Penn and his trainer as they sat at the Habbin side of the pitch as if he wanted him to go off on a stretcher, but after some well-aimed abuse along the 'just get on with it!' variety, he finally allowed play to continue, and McEvilly flung himself at the long ball into the area to head clear, to relieved cheers. Ben Farrell was just about to come on when the ref signalled a deserved victory for the U's and a long-awaited end to the Harriers hoodoo.
The United players remained on the pitch, warming down under Our Gary's guidance after applauding the fans and taking applause in turn, and as at Northwich, several supporters remained behind to regale them with a final blast of 'Horto Magiko' before reluctantly heading off into the night.
The news that Stevenage and Oxford had failed again, leaving them as the Conference's bottom two, plus the defeats of Cambs' other two senior teams, rounded off a near-perfect evening. The good times are back at the Abbey, and there is no black magic involved, just good, honest graft with a topping of sugary skill. Bring on the league leaders... Barrow?!
Statto Corner
At last! Today marked United's first ever home win over Kidderminster, at the eighth attempt, going back over the last seven seasons in two competitions with four different names, plus one term in the Southern League First Division in 1959-60. United's only previous victory over the Harriers was in the clubs' first-ever meeting at Aggborough, when goals from Eddie Robinson and Phil Hayes secured a 2-1 win in front of a crowd of 1,065. The prolific Hayes notched 70 goals in exactly 100 League games in the black and amber before moving on to Yiewsley, while Robinson managed a very respectable 21 in 48; Hayes is also United's all-time record FA Cup goalscorer with twelve and scored in nine consecutive FA Cup matches.
The clubs' ways parted at the end of that season when Harriers, having finished twentieth out of 22, dropped back down to the Birmingham & District League they had previously left in 1948. They were not to return to the Southern League until 1972, by which time the Mighty U's were luxuriating in the glamour of the Football League.
This is the second season in a row that United won their opening two games, last year's run extending to three: York (a) 2-1, Oxford (h) 2-1, Farsley (h) 5-1. Before that, you would have to go back to our last promotion season of 1998-99 to find such a successful start, when goals from the great Martin Butler saw off Torquay (a) 1-0 and Swansea (h) 2-1. Sandwiched in between those two matches, the U's also defeated Watford 1-0 in the Worthington Cup thanks to a goal from Butts' strike partner Trevor Benjamin. The dynamic duo went on to score 38 goals between them in all competitions.
Dan Gleeson has this term kept up a unique record of wearing a different squad number in each of the last six seasons: 31, 20, 2, 25, 7, and now 2 again.
Player Ratings
Potter 8. Inspirational presence who kept up his regulation one classic save per match ratio.
Gleeson 8. Much improved on Saturday, Glees was tenacity personified.
Bolland 9. Rarely have United ever had a centre-back who makes what he does look so easy while being a veritable tower of strength.
Hatswell 9. Simply impassable, Harriers' strikers could find no way past him.
Tonkin 8. Outstanding when forging forward and this time kept the inaccurate passes to a minimum.
Willmott 7. Robbie still has an awful lot to learn, but some of his work tonight was absolutely tremendous, with some devastating runs and crosses in the first half before fading in the second.
Carden 9. Cards played like a true captain, putting himself about and stamping his authority on the game (and a few shins) with boundless energy.
Challinor 9. JC seems to be the complete midfielder, popping up to make a vital tackle in his own box one minute, threatening the opposition goal the next, and always ready to pick out the right pass. Quality signing.
Jardim 8. Such an exciting player on the ball, he allies his flair and pace to an impressive work ethic, a toughness that belies his size, and he takes a mean set piece too. Another quality signing.
Beesley 8. It would be easy to underestimate his often subtle contribution, but he would be sorely missed from the team if he was not there.
McEvilly 8. Powerful line leader with a knack for goal: classic Number 9.
Jones 6. On too late to show what he can really do.
Match Summary
Increasingly impressive United comprehensively beat their bogey team with a display of powerful passing football that promises another exciting season in store. The Quinn is dead, long live the King!
Man of the Match
Jon Challinor. We get the strength, work ethic, skill and passing ability of JC, Rushden get the mercurial but erratic one-good-game-in-five of Rob Wolleaston. No contest.
Ref Watch
Halliday 4. Bizarre bookings, unnecessary free-kicks and a firm belief that such things as handball and the advantage rule simply don't exist. Weirdest ref of the season? He'll be a hard act to follow.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
"Fear knocked at the door. Faith opened it and lo, there was no-one there!" [Portsmouth,17/4/92]
Hello... Goodbye
On this day two years ago United opened their campaign with a 1-0 home defeat to Northwich Victoria in a match made notable by the debuts of both Robbie and Josh Simpson. Who would have thought that two years later, they would be plying their trades five divisions apart? Danny Carey-Bertram and Paul Crichton also made their U's league debuts that day.
Other debut boys on this day include the frightening Shane 'Igor' Westley, the frighteningly mediocre Tony Richards, Colin Vowden and Scott Barrett, all in a 2-1 first-day win at Scunthorpe in 1995.
The only ex-U's player born on this date was Jason Cowling (1969), a rare Cambridge-born midfielder who only ever managed four substitute appearances for United, although he did score a header in a 3-1 defeat at Southend in his last game in the black and amber on 5th May 1987. He was subsequently released and never played professional football again.
Soundtrack of the Day
Jakob Dylan 'Something Good This Way Comes'
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
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