Northwich 0-1 U's: Jardim licks Vics' stick
Saturday 9th August 2008 - Northwich 0-1 U's: Jardim licks Vics' stick
It's all our own fault, you know. All those opening day matches in previous seasons taking place in the dazzling heat of summer, players showing off their orange tans while the supporters top theirs up on the terraces, drinks breaks every fifteen minutes. Remember Huddersfield in 2003? Walking out of the cover of the away end into the full searing blast of the sunshine was like putting your face in a blast furnace.
But now we're all going green, and all those greenhouse gases and carbon emissions are dwindling by the day. And what do we get on the first day of 2008-09, at the height of summer? Rain. Torrential, persistent, and irredeemably wet rain. Now that's no way to see in a new season, is it? I suggest we all get up right now and turn on every electrical appliance we've got. We've still got time before next Saturday.
There was a reminder of what might have been this term for United's travelling hordes at Norton Canes Services where a coachload of Aldershot supporters turned up en route to their first Football League game in sixteen years. The fact that it was to be in the glamorous confines of Accrington Stanley, on their delightful open away terrace, did not seem to dampen their enthusiasm. I trust Exeter were enjoying their splendidly convenient away trip to Darlington at the same time.
For the second time in three years, the first opponents for the Mighty U's were to be Northwich Victoria, just fifteen weeks after our last visit on an unforgettable last day of the regular season. No need to remind ourselves what happened after that.
Vics still remain second on the billing at the Marston's Arena, 'Home of Manchester United Reserves and Northwich Victoria', the ground with the least scenic views in the league, unless you really like gazing at rusting machinery and belching chimneys. The ground itself is tidy and pleasant, though, as long as you like green, and their bar facilities resembled a particularly cosy greenhouse with all that glass letting in the grey light.
Lest we forget, our last visit was the occasion for a celebration for both clubs as Vics celebrated a truly miraculous escape from relegation after gaining only three points from their first nineteen games. Their Houdini impersonation seems to have taken their programme editor by surprise, judging by the 'BLUE SQUARE NORTH' logo proudly and prominently displayed on the front of today's issue. The cover also sported the legend 'Welcome to the home of real football,' which surely could not be construed as a comment on their ground sharers.
A full eighteen-man squad warmed up for the U's, only absentees being injured Danny Brown and Courtney Pitt, Mark Convery and Craig Bussens. Five players made their league debuts: Phil Bolland (below), huge, lanky centre-back who looks like he is made out of particularly long pipe-cleaners; Anthony Tonkin, elegant and athletic left-back; Jon Challinor, classy midfielder with hair so big he must drive with his sun roof open all the time; Andy Parkinson, the smallest of the Scouse slaphead invasion and a hard-working wide man; and Felino Jardim, diminutive Dutch winger blessed with Continental skills and blistering pace. He chose to have the name 'Felino' on the back of his shirt. How terribly Brazilian.
Of the old guard, Danny Potter remains unchallenged in goal, Dan Gleeson has been restored to his best position of right-back, Wayne Hatswell is still the team's rock at the back, Paul Carden is the new skipper in the middle, and the front two of Mark Beesley and Lee McEvilly is an exciting mix of the physical and the cunning. The other new face, Swansea loanee Chris Jones, was on the bench.
Thankfully, the rain had abated by kick-off time and the weather remained a peculiar sort of sultry grey. A bit like Helen Mirren, perhaps. United lined up in their home colours of black and amber, but with a fetching new black Kershaw logo on the front.
Before kick-off there was a minute's silence in memory of Ernie Cooksey, former Grays striker who sadly passed away from cancer during the close season at the age of 28, just before he was due to become a father. Ernie played against United three times, twice for Rochdale in 2004-05 and for Grays almost a year ago at the Abbey, on 4th September 2007. The silence was respectfully observed for a likeable and whole-hearted player who was popular at every club he graced.
United started brightly, Beesley almost catching the Vics back line out a couple of times with quick breaks down the middle, and the mercurial Jardim was cordially welcomed to the BSP by fouls from Matt Crowell on 5 and Richie Sutton a minute later. It was already clear that they had no answer to the little wingman's pace and skill other than brute force. Parkinson and Challinor also settled in well, and surprisingly only Carden seemed to be having difficulty in finding his match sharpness early on.
Challinor (above) was covering every proverbial blade of grass on a pitch covered almost too lushly with the green stuff, and he popped up on the edge of his own box on 12 to rob Joel Byrom as he was about to pull the trigger. Sutton then felled Jardim again but ref Harrington, although not apparently keen on any sort of physical contact, did nothing to discourage this treatment of the Dutchman.
The U's almost carved an opening a minute later, Jardim sliding to Beesley inside the area as he attempted to sneak through the centre, but keeper Scott Tynan managed to fall on the ball at the second scrambled attempt. At the other end Hatswell blocked a shot from opposing skipper Michael Welch following a free-kick into the box, then Byrom blasted over from twenty yards.
Northwich were beginning to pepper the United box with crosses, usually aimed at gigantic target man Darryn Stamp, and when winger Paul Barratt's cross from the left found him unmarked at the far post on 17, the home fans were shouting 'Goal!' even as his header somehow bounced just the other side of a relieved Potter's post.
United produced a superb passing move on 22 which culminated in Jardim's diagonal ball sending McEvilly clear down the right channel like a runaway explosives truck. Tynan spotted the danger and hared from his goal, and just got the ball first outside the area, Big Mac colliding with the keeper as it was whisked away from him. Tynan went down like a sack of spuds and the rather portly linesman frantically flagged, with the upshot that McEvilly was harshly booked for nothing more than a legitimate challenge for the ball.
It was something of a travesty of justice after Vics' previously unpunished collection of agricultural tackles, and Tynan did not help matters by refusing McEvilly's hand of apology as he got up at last. In fact the Vics keeper just made himself look a bit of a twerp, and a graceless twerp at that.
The visitors had the last laugh, however, when they broke the deadlock on 28. Dan Gleeson arced a long ball over the top down the right wing, Parkinson sprinted clear and, looking up, saw McEvilly making a run into the six-yard box against two defenders. Cleverly, Parky spurned the obvious ball and pulled it back to the edge of the box where Jardim had arrived unseen, and the pint-sized winger wasted no time in lashing his well-struck shot first time, firmly into the bottom corner past the helpless Tynan. The Dutch cap fits: 1-0!
Beesley set up Jardim with another chance not much more than a minute later, but this time he scuffed it. Then Parkinson floated another cross over, but with McEvilly rising for the header and Jardim lurking just behind him for a tap-in, Welch headed clear from between the two United men.
To their credit, Northwich responded well with some neat passing football of their own. The indomitable Hatswell blocked a Jamie Mullan howitzer on 37, then Bolland was harshly adjudged to have fouled Stamp to concede a free-kick 25 yards out which Byrom lifted over the wall but just the wrong side of the post. But overall it was so far, so good for the new-look U's as they trooped in for the interval.
A characteristic adventurous run from Tonkin sent Jardim away at the start of part two, but the wingman showed that his left foot is not as good as his right with a miscued cross out of play. Gleeson was booked on 50 for the most blatant handball in football history, patting a crossfield pass away like a volleyball player as it threatened to send Barratt clear down the left.
Five minutes later Sutton received his well-deserved and overdue yellow card for a horrendous lunge that almost took Jardim's legs clean off, and after the Dutchman resumed play after some TLC from Greg Reid with a niggling challenge on his tormentor, Our Gary got him and Parkinson to switch wings. Felino may be a littl'un, but he is feistier than an extremely peeved Pekinese.
The tremendous travelling support roared their heroes on in full and fine voice, but the switch seemed to lose the team something and the hosts began to dictate the pace of the game. Just before the hour they replaced Barratt and Lee Steele with Michael Byrne and local legend Jonny Allan, who wasted no time in putting himself about and was promptly booked within a couple of minutes for a dreadful late lunge on Tonkin that left the United full-back more crumpled than Keith Richards' face.
Northwich continued to take the game to United, but Hatswell and Bolland were outstanding at the back, winning just about everything in the air. Mullan crossed for Stamp to head wide at the far post on 62, then following a corner Crowell flashed a shot through the crowded box and narrowly wide.
United still had the odd moment, Jardim setting up Beesley for an over-deliberate curler well wide, then Carden forced a fairly comfortable save from Tynan, and on 75 Jardim was withdrawn after a superb debut to be replaced by Jones, surprisingly the first player of that surname to represent the U's since their last pre-1970 non-League spell.
Vics responded by replacing Crowell with ex-U's loan man Chris Flynn, who ironically played one of his two games for United in their 4-0 win at Northwich the season before last. Jones slipped the ball through for McEvilly but Tynan just got there in time, but five minutes from time the hosts came nearest to equalising when Byrne's shot through a packed box was flicked superbly wide by Potter, diving low to his left to scoop it away.
More pressure ensued with one booking for each side, Byrom for felling Parkinson, then Parkinson for the lightest of touches on Sutton who, despite being several inches and stone larger than the little Scouser, tumbled to the ground as if knocked down by Giant Haystacks, instead of United's Bonsai winger.
A series of corners and free-kicks tested United's resolve in the dying minutes, but they held firm and Ben Farrell replaced Beesley deep into added time. The visitors coolly saw out the remaining minutes in Northwich's half to seal a hard-fought win and a very welcome clean sheet.
Today marked the fifth time in six seasons that United have started the season away from home, and after last term's win at York, the first time they have won two consecutive season-openers since winning 2-1 at Scunthorpe in 1995 and 1-0 over Barnet in 1996. Another win over our bogey team on Tuesday and we really would have the perfect start...
Statto Corner
So where have we seen all these new faces before?
Jon Challinor is the most familiar, having faced United three times for Rushden last season (once in the Setanta Shield) and, prior to that, four times for Exeter, scoring in the Grecians' 3-1 win at the Abbey in September 2006 and in their 4-0 battering of the U's in Devon a year previously. He also turned out for Cambridge City in a pre-season friendly against United in July 2001.
Andy Parkinson came up against the cream of Cambridge four times, twice for Tranmere in the 2001-02 season, including a 6-1 hammering at Prenton Park, and twice for Grimsby during 2004-05, the little Scouser one of the scorers in the Fishy People's 2-0 victory at the Abbey. That was despite a devastating U's midfield of Kingsley Mbome, Justin Walker and Ashley Nicholls, and a goal-filled attack of Jermaine Easter, Dennis Oli and Dan Chillingworth. However did we get relegated that season, eh?
Anthony Tonkin (above) played against the U's in both matches with Forest Green last season, while Phil Bolland has faced United just once, in a less than thrilling goalless draw for Chester at the Deva Stadium in September 2004.
And what about Gary Brabin? We clashed with him twice in his playing days, firstly in a 2-1 defeat at Doncaster in October 1995, and secondly in a 2-0 win over Hull City at the Abbey in March 1999, alongside future U's legend (ahem) Colin Alcide. United's second goal was scored by Ian Ashbee. Wonder whatever happened to him...?
Player Ratings
Potter 7. Coped well with whatever Vics threw at him, including one 'worldie' save near the end. Also the best time-waster in the business.
Gleeson 7. Gave opposing left-winger Paul Barratt far too much space in the first half, coped much better when Barratt was surprisingly withdrawn.
Bolland 8. Absolutely colossal in every respect, he dealt efficiently and unflashily with everything and everyone that came his way.
Hatswell 8. Pre-season collywobbles were forgotten with a towering, dominant display of the central defender's art.
Tonkin 7. Worth an 8 for his excellent first half, with many a thrilling run forward, but blotted his copybook in the second with some frankly diabolical passing.
Parkinson 8. Industrious and clever, he set up the goal and made an important contribution throughout.
Carden 7. Slow out of the blocks in the first 45, misplacing passes and caught in possession, he improved greatly as the match wore on and finished much more like his usual reliable self. The weight of captaincy...?
Challinor 8. All-action from start to finish, he seemed to pop up all over the pitch and looks like a quality signing.
Jardim 8. Northwich couldn't stop him by fair means, so resorted to foul.
Beesley 8. Such an important member of the team, his intelligent running and link-up play will yield many a goal this season.
McEvilly 7. Led the line with power and no little skill, although still looks a little, shall we say, heavy.
Jones 6. Did not see enough of the ball to make a great impression but looks to possess pace and skill in good quantities.
Farrell 6. Barely on long enough to touch the ball.
Match Summary
The Brabin era began in the best possible way with a hard-working win over a decent Northwich side notable for a host of impressive debuts, some doughty defending and the exciting skills of Felino Jardim. It was by no means perfect, but it provided an excellent platform upon which to build another season of promotion hunting. Hold tight.
Man of the Match
Felino Jardim. Mr Pitt had better look to his laurels after this tremendously impressive English debut for the exciting Dutchman. His pace and skill were far too much for Northwich's galumphing defenders, his tackling back and covering was tireless and committed, and his goal was simply exquisite. As long as he can cope with the physical attention, and gets a decent amount of protection from the BSP's erratic refs, he could be a major star this season.
Ref Watch
Harrington 5. There are so many refs like this character around these days, stopping the game every minute for any sort of physical contact, no matter how innocuous, then failing to punish the serial offenders who foul the likes of Jardim until they have kicked him up in the air half a dozen times, while handing out silly bookings to the likes of McEvilly and Parkinson. Must do better.
Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom
Back in the halcyon days of the early 1990s, John Beck became famous for peppering his programme notes with quotes from the good and the great, designed to inspire, amuse and provoke thought amongst us, his loyal followers. Now a whole new generation can enjoy his carefully chosen words to the wise, as we trawl the archives of Becky's World of Wit and Wisdom.
"Only dead fish swim with the tide!" [10/12/91, Blackburn Rovers]
Hello... Goodbye
August is a time for debuts, and many United players have played their first competitive game in the black'n'amber on the 9th August: the good (Martin Butler at Scarborough, 1997), the bad (Jason Rees in the same game, Justin Walker at Huddersfield, 2003), and the ugly (Mark Venus, also at Huddersfield). United's venerable coach, Stuart Bimson, was another who made his debut in that Huddersfield game, and you can work out for yourself which category he fits into best...
Soundtrack of the Day
Late Of The Pier 'Heartbeat'
Parky's Pick of the Pops
Andy Parkinson assesses the Marston's Arena sounds. "Alright lads and lasses? I've always loved music, me, and what I look for in a song is PASSION and HEART... something like Wah!'s 'Story Of The Blues,,' or 'Hey Jude,' or the greatest song ever written, 'Ferry Cross The Mersey.' And if it's sung by a Scouser, hey, all the better, ey? Just don't take the mick, like that Harry Enfield, right, 'cos that's just NOT FUNNY, alright?!
"But seriously, it's a great honour to take over the music reviews this season. Not that it got off to the greatest start, like, 'cos Northwich just slapped on this house music megamix thing that seemed to go on forever! Then near kickoff they dragged out 'The Great Escape' and 'Eye Of The Tiger' and, you know, I'm thinking where's the originality here, eh?
"Things looked up a bit at half-time when they played a load of bands beginning with 'K' - Klaxons, Killers, Kaiser Chiefs, and being a bit of a child of the Nineties who grew up with Britpop, them Chiefs do remind me of that era a bit! Now if they could just have got onto 'L' for La's we might have been in business. Here's hoping for better at Eastbourne, boys and girls! Until then, never walk alone!" PPP verdict: 3/10
Andrew Bennett
Andrew's previous match reports
The views expressed on this page are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Cambridge United Football Club or the webmaster.
