Saturday 19th July 2008 - U's 4-2 Everton: United devour sticky Toffee puddings

Tom Jones has rarely put a leather-booted foot wrong over the years, and he certainly got it right when he crooned 'It's good to touch the green, green grass of home.' It is unlikely that he had the lush, verdant turf of the Abbey Stadium (as it was called then...) in mind when he sung it - he was more of an Ab Abergavenny Thursdays man, I believe - but the sentiment certainly rang true for the amber hordes as they returned to their home from home for the first time since that glorious, emotional playoff victory over Burton Albion just ten short weeks ago.

The usual quiet, uneventful close season (er, did I miss something?) was not wasted at the Wembley of The Fens, and the NRE's newly painted back wall with the legend 'AMBER ARMY' looked utterly glorious in the summer sunshine. Now, lads at the back, if you could just remember to crouch down during the match so we can see it...

Main subject of conversation on the terraces was the windfall due to United following the great Dave Kitson's move to Stoke. Whatever the deal struck, what a dream for the Big Ginger Giant: to be able to play in the Premier League alongside the legend that is Jon Parkin. Now there is a forward pairing to strike terror into the hearts of Messrs Ferdinand, Terry et al!

The first home friendly of the season saw the long-awaited visit of Everton to Cambridge for the very first time, as part of the John Ruddy deal. The clubs' only previous meeting was at Goodison Park on 30th August 1976, when a United side including such legends as Brendon Batson, Steve Spriggs, Malcolm Webster, Steve Fallon and Alan Biley was rolled over 3-0 via goals from Bob Latchford, Martin Dobson and Andy King. The attendance was a fairly feeble 10,998.

The South Stand was almost full today with curious Everton followers from all over the country. Young Mr Ruddy was in goal, of course, and after an endless series of loan spells at Walsall, Rushden, Chester, Stockport (twice), Wrexham and Bristol City, hopefully he can push for a place in the Toffees' first team soon. The other U's connection at Goodison is of course David Moyes, who joined United from Celtic as a player 25 years ago and has gone on to far greater things as a manager. And he's still a top fella, to boot.

David Gray's interview with the man in the matchday programme (now £3 but worth every penny, honest guv) recounted the story of how John Docherty flew up to Glasgow in a privately chartered aeroplane to secure his signature - now those really WERE the days - and after playing under probably the two worst managers in U's history, John Ryan and Ken Shellito, it was amusing to see DG's tongue-in-cheek question about whether Moyes had taken anything from those two footballing Frank Spencers into his own managerial career. Well, learning how to lose, certainly...

Moyesey's answer was commendably diplomatic, as one would expect. His team selection was dictated by injuries and the absence of his four African players for a variety of reasons, so it was a mixture of megastars (Andrew Johnson, Joleon Lescott, Phil Jagielka, Andy van der Meyde, Nuno Valente) and highly-rated youngsters (teenagers John Irving, Jack Rodwell, Eunan O'Kane and Lucas Jutkiewicz). And Phil Neville. Valente won the European Champions League with Porto in 2004 and was in the Portugal team which got to the final of Euro 2004 only to lose to Greece, so today was probably only the third greatest moment of his career.

United lined up in their away strip (must have a word with that launderette) and showed only two changes from the side which drew at the City Ground on Tuesday, Josh Coulson replacing released trialist Matt Halliday and Mark Convery given a chance in central midfield instead of Ben Farrell. With Messrs Parkinson, Carden, McEvilly and Beesley in the team, they had more Scousers on the pitch than Everton. And an Evertonian on the bench in Our Gary, who also featured in a delightful 'beefcake' centrefold in the programme. Calm down, girls.

In the last match at the Abbey/TRS, Rob Wolleaston scored the quickest goal ever seen here in putting United one up against Burton inside 32 seconds. Sensationally, that record was beaten comfortably today without an Everton player touching the ball. From the kickoff, the ball was played down the left via Courtney Pitt and Lee McEvilly to Mark Beesley inside the box. Looking up, he knocked it square to Andy Parkinson, who lashed a soaring shot over Ruddy and under the bar. Time: 20 seconds. 1-0!

The blue-bedecked South Stand sat in stunned silence as the rest of the Abbey celebrated the most stunning start to the season imaginable. An entertaining contest ensued, with both sides passing through midfield, and the nippy Johnson carried the visitors' first threat on 7, bursting through the middle and dancing around Danny Potter, but he was crowded out by a posse of white-shirted defenders before he could get a telling shot in.

Three minutes later there was a blow for the hosts when McEvilly was forced to withdraw due to a hamstring problem. NOT because he was hungry. Trialist Ramon Calliste had already been sent packing, so Robbie Willmott was obliged to step into the breach again. He took some time to settle, as you would expect for a teenage winger pitched against a couple of current England internationals in centre-back pairing Lescott and Jagielka.

The overall pattern of the game remained unchanged, however, as the teams continued to probe and pass. Much of United's play was directed down the left for Pitt, but his delivery was inconsistent at best, while the visitors pushed down the middle and tried to set up the scampering Johnson. He had another chance on 17, but although his low scudder was reasonably well struck, Potter dived to block with some comfort. Up the other end Convery tried his luck and the ball cannoned into the air off the blocking Neville to plop easily into Ruddy's waiting arms.

When Everton's equaliser came on 20, it was with the utmost simplicity. Valente arrowed a long ball from deep on the left, Jutkiewicz nodded it on for himself past Wayne Hatswell's rather feeble challenge, and he easily outran the elderly United defender to prod home past Potter at his near post from the edge of the area. Not good defending: 1-1.

Credit, though, to Jutkiewicz, a Polish Under-21 international who was born in Southampton and signed from Swindon Town, resembling a young Paul Rideout, who looked determined to take the opportunity occasioned through the absence of many of his competitors for a starting place.

A spell of Everton pressure ensued. A couple of minutes later Johnson again raced clear down the middle with defenders in hot pursuit. Potter advanced to intercept, blocking Johnson's first shot, but the rebound came back off the shaven-headed striker and he stumbled past the prone keeper so that the goal was at his mercy, with only Anthony Tonkin back in the middle of the six-yard box. Johnson really should have scored, but his goalbound toe-poke was chested clear by the grateful United left-back.

Lescott proved himself to be an unexpected goalscoring menace last season, notching ten goals mostly from left-back, so it was no surprise that he should be a threat from corners. Van der Meyde's flag-kick on 25 fell to him at the far post, but thanks to his wild swing and miss, Hatswell was able to clear for another corner. This time the Dutchman's set piece found Lescott's head ten yards out, and his nod was latched onto by Johnson at close range, but Potter dived brilliantly to block his header.

More hilarity ensued when O'Kane produced an air shot in trying to let fly twenty yards out, but the amber army was not laughing on 27 when Everton took the lead. Once again it was Jutkiewicz versus Hatswell, and once again there was only one winner: van der Meyde looped a cross in from the left, the two players stood motionless as it dropped towards them, and Jutkiewicz held Hatswell off to guide a clever header across Potter and in at the far post. 2-1.

The visitors remained on top and could have made it three on 35 when another van der Meyde corner found Rodwell storming in unmarked, but Potter made another good save with a low dive and clutch on his line.

Then Jutkiewicz got his head unchallenged onto a Neville cross, but his header sailed just over the bar and hit one of the poles holding the net up behind the goal, causing it to shake and for many Scousers at the other end to acclaim a phantom third goal. Oh how we laughed. Well, we went 'nyaaaaaahhh!' actually.

United tried to respond but Willmott was still struggling to find his feet and Pitt was unable to provide much by way of service, save for one inventive diagonal cross that bounced just in front of the U's youngster. Full-backs Gleeson and Tonkin had looked secure defensively but provided little support going forward, while Carden and Convery were reasonably tidy but not especially effective and Parkinson, while willing, was denied a decent amount of ammunition. Beesley looked promisingly alert but could not find the support he deserved.

There was still only one goal in it, though, as the half-time whistle sounded, and the applause all around the ground was warm and sincere. General feeling for the amber faithful was most likely tending towards 'Hope we can keep the scoreline respectable' rather than 'We're going to stuff this lot in the second half' but, like a squirt of Deep Heat in a bottle of Ambre Solaire, football has a habit of surprising even the oldest and most jaded amongst us.

Our Gary kept to his game plan of giving his players extended runouts by making no changes for part two, while for Everton, 17-year-old Cory Sinnott replaced O'Kane. Four minutes in, Jutkiewicz was withdrawn to Hatswell's relief in favour of another whizz-kid, 16-year-old Jose Baxter, already being talked about as the next Wayne Rooney, apparently. Poor lad; a lifetime of ostentatious chavvery awaits. And his parents called him 'Jose.'

Early exchanges were unremarkable, Pitt slashing a tame free-kick well over from 25 yards out, but Beesley and Willmott were starting to strike up an understanding and on 57 Beesley caught the Everton back line off guard with a ball over the top that was seized upon by his spring-heeled partner. Willmott advanced unchallenged on goal down the middle, but sadly the pressure got all too much for the teenager and instead of shooting when he had the chance, he tried to take the ball round Ruddy and was dispossessed. Golden opportunity.

The visitors responded via that man Johnson, once more darting clear down the left channel, but he ran out of angles and Potter blocked well with his feet. Around the hour mark Pitt was withdrawn to give trialist Felino Jardin another chance, but this time he took up position on the left instead of the right flank he occupied at Milton Road.

On 62 the match really caught fire with a goal of both simplicity and genius. Gleeson's long ball down the right channel found Parkinson in space in the corner of the box. In one movement, he controlled, looked up and arced the most exquisite, pinpoint lob over the helpless Ruddy's despairing hands and into the far corner of the net. Awesome: 2-2!

Suddenly United switched into overdrive and, inspired, they took the game to their illustrious opponents. Beesley, leading the way, latched onto a Carden through ball to fire low for goal from eighteen yards, but Ruddy dived low to save. Then once again Johnson sprinted through, onto Baxter's ball over the top, and this time he beat the outrushing Potter to flick a shot towards the open goal. But Gleeson, covering back, gave chase and cleared his lines with scant yards to spare. Sorry, AJ, it's just not your day.

The Scouse followers saved their biggest cheer for the 71st minute when their hero Mikel Arteta was introduced, along with teenagers Kieran Agard and Lee Molyneux, in place of van der Meyde, Sinnott and Valente.

Four minutes later United were stunningly ahead. It was Carden who supplied the through ball, threading it down the centre for Willmott to run onto, and this time he made no mistake, sliding his shot low past Ruddy as the defence converged upon him from both sides. Take a bow, son: 3-2!

The visitors tried to respond, firstly with an Irving cross that flew across the United box without making contact with anyone, then Arteta bamboozled Tonkin on the right byline and pulled it back for Rodwell, but with time and space to spare, he blasted hopelessly over the top from fifteen yards. Everton's chief scout, ex-U Robbie Cooke, looked on nostalgically.

Back came United. On 81 Beesley saw a shot deflected wide for a corner, and from the ensuing Convery flag-kick, Tonkin rose to head goalward and as the Everton defence hesitated, Beesley nipped it to lash home into the roof of the net from six yards out. 4-2!

That was the cue for an exodus of several dozen away fans, to the amber hordes' glee. We all know Premier League supporters walk out after their team goes two down, we see it every week on the telly. At our level we wait until we're at least four goals behind, for goodness' sake.

A few minutes later came the last sub of the match, Gavin Hoyte for Josh Coulson after an impressive showing from the youngster, and although Everton had the better of the closing minutes, United stood firm with some ease to claim a glorious, morale-boosting victory. The U's players rushed to change shirts with their favourite opponent as the fans rose to acclaim them.

Yes, Everton were at neither their strongest nor their best. But they put out a good team that they might realistically have expected to cruise to a win, so all credit to United for coming back so well and with such spirit, particularly with only one specialist striker left after ten minutes. The squad still needs strengthening, but this was a positive step forward after many backward stumbles during the close season. Long may it continue.

Statto Corner
David Moyes' playing career at the Abbey, from October 1983 to October 1985, coincided with the most disastrous run in United's history, with successive relegations from Division Two to Division Four. In 79 League games, Moyes participated in just 7 wins, 20 draws and 52 defeats. His usual centre-back partners were Steve Fallon, Keith Osgood, Andy Beattie, Geoff Scott or Paddy Rayment.

Moyes managed just one goal in U's colours, in a 3-2 home defeat by Bristol City on 15th September 1984. United's other goalscorer was Danny 'son of Jimmy' Greaves, while some big-boned chap called Rob Newman notched for the Robins.

The only Everton player from today who had played at the Abbey before was Phil Neville, who accompanied his brother at full-back in Manchester United's 1-1 draw on 9th August 1994 as part of the deal which saw Dion Dublin move to Old Trafford for £1 million. Two other Everton players' brothers have graced the Abbey turf, though: Joleon Lescott's brother Aaron for Bristol Rovers, and Phil Jagielka's sibling Steve for both Shrewsbury and Accrington Stanley.

Today's attendance of 4,495 was the fourth highest ever for a pre-season friendly at the Abbey. Best was the 9,194 for the Man U match mentioned above, followed by 5,845 (West Ham, 1/8/2006) and 5,251 (Spurs, 26/7/94). The best friendly crowd of all time was of course the 14,000 for the Chelsea game in May 1970, but that was more of an almost-end-of-season friendly.

Trialist Trivia
Three of Histon's squad from last season were failed Cambridge United trialists. Adie Cambridge came on as a second-half sub in a 1-1 friendly draw at King's Lynn on 22nd July 1996, but manager Tommy Taylor was so unimpressed with the team's performance that none of the trialists who played were invited back.

John Kennedy, now a midfield player, was a 21-year-old right-back on Ipswich Town's books when he trialled for United Reserves in a 2-0 win away to Portsmouth's stiffs on 16th March 2000. And hulking centre-back Roscoe Hipperson was a King's Lynn player when he was given a runout in a 1-1 draw at Hornchurch on 1st August 1996. The rest, as they say, is history...

Player Ratings
Potter 7. Could do little about the goals, otherwise showed a safe pair of hands.
Gleeson 7. Proved right-back is his best position with a solid, reliable defensive display.
Coulson 7. Young Josh put the fumbling of King's Lynn behind him with a dogged and decisive performance.
Hatswell 5. Nightmare first half in which he was at fault for both goals, he must have breathed a massive sigh of relief when his nemesis Jutkiewicz went off and he saw out the match in relative comfort.
Tonkin 6. Did not do anything startling but put in a calm, competent effort.
Parkinson 8. Blossoming nicely.
Carden 7. Enjoyed a tough struggle with a strong Everton midfield and gave as good as he got.
Convery 6. Battled gamely, but made relatively little impact on the game.
Pitt 6. Saw plenty of the ball until subbed. His crossing, however, remained as variable as ever.
McEvilly 5. Only on for ten minutes.
Beesley 8. Continued his splendid start to the season with another excellent, lively game.

Willmott 7. Found it a struggle at first as a striker, but gradually built a good understanding with Beesley, and recovered from his glaring miss with a fine goal.
Jardin 6. Looked committed and energetic, although did not see enough of the ball to make much of an impression.
Hoyte 6. Late sub looked huge and impressively impassable.

Match Summary
The new Abbey season started with a bang as Everton's superstars (and Phil Neville) were convincingly beaten by a lively and spirited United side. The squad still looks somewhat threadbare, but the foundations at least are rock solid.

Man of the Match
Andy Parkinson. The little Scouser tore the Toffees to pieces with two magnificent goals and a dynamic all-round display. If this is the standard of signing Our Gary wants to make, look forward to many more thrills 'n' spills this season.

Ref Watch
Thorpe 7. A firm but unobtrusive hand.

Soundtrack of the Day
Cut Copy 'Hearts On Fire'

Andrew Bennett

Andrew's previous match reports

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