U's 5-0 Droylsden: Bloods' sweat and tears
Tuesday 22nd January 2008 - U's 5-0 Droylsden: Bloods' sweat and tears
It is amazing the number of different formations you can see the opposition take up in the course of a match, especially when they are being royally thrashed. But it is even more unusual when it is done by the opposition's supporters. Eleven of them, there were, proudly travelled down from deepest darkest Manchester to cheer on the Bloods of Droylsden, with the whole of the South Stand to fill. And they did their best, changing as the game wore on from a flat back four to wing-backs to the Christmas tree formation to, eventually, an ever-changing melange of movement as they milled around, trying to take in their side's second 5-0 tonking down South in four days. Looks like that old cliché about announcing the crowd changes might just have some basis in truth, bless 'em...
It is also unusual for United to entertain a club with whom they have no historic links whatsoever, but the paths of Droylsden and the U's and their players had never met before so we were able to patronise them on a chilly January Cambridge night. The contrast between the two clubs could not have been greater: United unbeaten at home, Droylsden without an away win all season, which has been one long, fruitless struggle as they lie anchored to the bottom of the table after promotion from Conference North.
Five minutes before kickoff the away contingent in the South Stand numbered exactly nought, so when the visitors' intrepid fan club eventually trooped into sight they were greeted warmly and respectfully by the amber hordes, returning their applause in cheery style. Proper football supporters appreciate each other.
United went into tonight's clash on a run of four consecutive defeats, but Droylsden could trump that, having lost their last six, including Saturday's five-goal gubbing at Stevenage. The resistible force versus the movable object. JQ made only one change to the side which lost at Grays, Courtney Pitt replacing Mark Convery 'in the hole' behind the front two, but there was a new face on the bench in the shape of flame-haired midfielder Ben Farrell, and Mark Peters also made a welcome return after injury. Droylsden's best-known player was former Shrewsbury striker Jody Banim, which says all you need to know about the rest of them, doubtless honest triers to a man.
There was also a tweak to the formation as United lined up, Danny Brown starting outside Stephen Reed on the left, as the hosts started their first home game of 2008 after four away games in a row, even if two of them were on the village paddy field just up the road. Now the U's could demonstrate their dazzling skills on Ian Darler's verdant green turf. Hopefully.
There was plenty of honest toil from both sides in the opening exchanges, first corner falling to United on 6, but the ref, our old chum John Hopkins, couldn't wait to whistle for a free-kick as soon as a group of players jostled aerially for Reed's flag-kick. But any nerves from United's pointless year so far were assuaged on 11 when they were gifted their opening goal.
Out on the right-hand byline halfway between the penalty box and the corner flag, the bustling, hustling Lee McEvilly dispossessed a dozing Ashley Burberry, jostled his way along the line past Ged Murphy, then slipped it inside to strike partner Scott Rendell. As the defence stood off him, he drifted across the six-yard box then screwed a left-footed shot back the way he'd come, past wrong-footed keeper Paul Phillips and low into the bottom corner. Easy as you like: 1-0.
You could hear the sigh of relief from the United fans as they acclaimed the early goal their team needed, along with another sigh of realisation: so THAT'S why Droylsden are at the bottom! Murphy begged to differ, insisting long and loud that McEvilly had taken the ball out of play in the build-up, and he eventually received the night's first booking for his pains. Stupid goal, stupid booking: classic relegation form. We know, we've been there. Several times...
The visitors responded spiritedly with a shot from Gareth Morris, well off target, but they picked up their second yellow card on the quarter hour when Pitt, already in mischievously nimble form, was crudely clattered by Chris Denham. Droylsden, however, kept trying to play passing football and found some joy down their right wing, Morris climaxing a decent run with a dangerous cross across the box which just evaded a couple of colleagues before being cleared by Mark Albrighton. Unfortunately Brown looked no more effective wide than he did in the middle.
Danny Potter was forced into action on 24 with a comfortable catch from Burberry's long-ranger, then the visitors made an early change, Sean Taylforth replacing Adam Dugdale. United remained on cruise control, the front two alert and mobile, Pitt just behind them darting hither and thither like a flibbertygibbet and Rob Wolleaston also looking up for it. The latter had a shot blocked behind by Murphy on 29 and Reed's corner found Wayne Hatswell at the far post, whose header was scrambled from the line by what may or may not have been a blue-shirted hand. No pen.
The U's began to assert themselves, though, realising that Droylsden posed little or no threat up front and looked about as stable as scaffolding made of marzipan at the back. On 32 Rendell sent McEvilly through down the middle, and showing impressive power he battled his way past two robust challenges to fire a decent shot which Phillips just managed to push around the post. The ensuing corner was half-cleared, but Brown then found Wolleaston over 25 yards out and he unleashed one of his fantastic specials high into the top right corner of the net as Phillips could only stand and watch. Another golden Wolly wonder: 2-0.
Gradually building up a head of steam, the front three continued to push and probe, McEvilly with his power, Rendell with his movement and Pitt with twisting heels of quicksilver. The visitors defended stoutly, and on 36 Pitt was harshly booked by cardmeister Hopkins for the mildest of 'fouls' on Kevin Lynch as the man in black demonstrated his trademark random decisions, ignoring clear fouls then penalising the mildest of challenges.
Rendell was unlucky victim to the most marginal offside decision on 41, then there was some light relief as United took the worst free-kick in the world ever when Lee Roche felled McEvilly. Reed thought he would take a quick kick, but managed only to trundle it three yards straight into the still-sitting McEvilly's back, and it cannoned off for a goal-kick. Reed appealed vainly, but Hopkins for once got it right: you took it, mate, you mucked it up. No second chance!
Banim was next to see yellow on 42 for a foul on the impressively imperious Hatswell (above), but the visitors managed one last reasonable attack before the break, Denham's head-high driven cross nodded skilfully over his own bar by the tidy Albrighton. Half-time.
It had not been a vintage United performance so far, with too many midfielders still under-delivering, but it had been more than enough against hard-working but chronically limited opposition. One suspects even the Bloods players knew that it was now just a question of whether the U's could equal Stevenage's score from Saturday.
Droylsden started part two in spirited style after a pep talk from manager-chairman Dave Pace and managed their first shot of the half within a minute, Denham sending a fizzer just wide. United answered back within another sixty seconds, Rendell setting up McEvilly, but his tendency to blast every shot instead of placing misfired as he wellied wide of the near post.
On 49 Brown's foul on Banim presented the Bloods with a long-range free-kick, but although Gareth Morris' effort over the wall was on target, it lacked the power to avoid Potter's grasping gloves. Denham then found Terry Fearns inside the box, but Potter blocked well with his legs. It still felt comfortable for United, but they needed to step up a gear and on 54 Brown was removed, still struggling for form, to be replaced by Convery, Reed moving out to the left.
It was around the hour mark that United truly began to click. Dan Gleeson's run and ball inside found Rendell and his goalbound poke was cleared behind by Roche. Reed's corner from the left sailed over several blue-shirted heads and found McEvilly in space ten yards out; with good control he brought the ball down and before anyone could challenge, rifled low into the bottom left corner for a well-taken first goal in the black and amber. 3-0.
Droylsden tried to regroup, replacing Denham with Gavin Salmon and on 64 Banim fired wide, but the U's were now beginning to hit their stride. Good work down the right on 67 by McEvilly culminated in a cross that soared over everyone at the near post and found Pitt roaring in unmarked from deep, but his goalbound thunderbolt was bravely blocked away by Roche. That must have stung.
The combative McEvilly was next in the book for an everything-and-nothing challenge on Morris, but on 69 a comfortable win became a rout. Excellent work by Pitt was the foundation of United's next goal, a blistering run down the left channel climaxing in an inch-perfect cross to the far post where Rendell rose majestically above his marker to crash a commanding header down into the net via Phillips' despairing, fumbling hands. 4-0.
Now was the time to bring on debut boy Farrell (above), and he made a confident, impressive start as he found plenty of space in the middle into which to run. Robbie Talbot replaced Lynch for the Bloods, but they could have brought on Cristiano Ronaldo and he couldn't have saved them now. Although he might have scraped a hat-trick.
There was only going to be one hat-trick boy tonight, and it came on 75. Convery crossed from the right, Rendell controlled near the penalty area but his first touch wasn't the best, having to stumble backwards to keep it under control. The Droylsden defence, however, just stood off him, watching in admiration as he regained his balance, adjusted his feet and tucked the coolest shot imaginable low into the bottom left-hand corner past a motionless Phillips. 5-0.
Now United were beginning to resemble the fearsome outfit of early season, attacking with positivity, power and pace. Pitt set up McEvilly for his second on 78 but he hammered just wide, and his work done, Rendell was withdrawn a minute later in favour of Robbie Willmott. A half-clearance a minute later was seized upon by Convery, but his ambitious slash soared high, wide and not very handsome.
The pressure continued as shellshocked Droylsden concentrated on keeping the score down. Convery's corner on 83 fell to Albrighton but his toepoke was stopped by Phillips, and two minutes later the exciting Farrell loped forward into space and thrashed a splendid shot narrowly wide of the right-hand upright.
Two minutes from time Convery slalomed into the box and was blatantly pulled off the ball, but the man in black was determined not to give a penalty and ignored United's convincing pleas. United kept up the onslaught right until the end, finishing with a Willmott shot from a narrow angle that brushed the side netting, then the Bloods' ordeal was over.
United improved as the game went on and it was a welcome and much-needed confidence booster after recent results. Okay, the opposition was feeble to say the least, but to their credit neither they nor their doughty supporters ever gave up, and that spirit will stand them in good stead for the inevitable relegation scrap to come. The U's cannot expect Altrincham on Saturday to be as accommodating, but in Hatswell, McEvilly and Farrell, JQ looks on early impressions to have brought in another three jewels. The season starts here.
After a thoroughly enjoyable evening, the only downer was the news of Lee Power's resignation. He will be remembered as a major contributor to United's turnaround of the last eighteen months, the man who chose JQ and the man who stuck with his manager when all around him were calling for his head early last year. And my fondest memory of him will be of Forest Green, when he strode from the stand and rolled up his sleeves to assist Chris Turner in turning round an underachieving team and obtained a valuable draw. Thanks for the memories, LP.
Statto Corner
This was United's biggest win since the 7-0 demolition of Weymouth last March, and the third time they have scored five this season after the 5-1 thrashings of Droylsden's fellow BSP flotsam Farsley Celtic and Stafford Rangers (in the FA Cup).
The crowd of exactly 2,000 was United's lowest league crowd since 12th September 2006, when the U's drew 1-1 with Kidderminster. They have recorded two sub-2,000 crowds this season, but only in the FA Cup and the Setanta Shield.
Scott Rendell's was the second U's hat-trick of the season after that of Leo Fortune-West in the above-mentioned Farsley Celtic match.
Ben Farrell tonight became the sixth former Bedford Town player to turn out for the U's since 1970. Gavin Hoyte and Parys Okai also came to the Abbey direct from the Eyrie, while Mark Albrighton, Bill Garner and Chris Turner were all on the Eagles' books at one time before joining the U's.
Only one player has gone directly the other way in the same period: Bill Baldry, not for money but for a case of champagne in the glory days of Ron Atkinson. Fourteen other players have gone on to play for Bedford at some point after leaving the Abbey.
Player Ratings
Potter 6. Had little to do, but did it well.
Albrighton 7. Always in command, although hardly stretched by Droylsden's powder-puff attack.
Morrison 7. Coped quite fine, thanks.
Hatswell 8. Confirmed that he is a real quality signing, cool on the ball, accurate in his distribution, careful and strong in the tackle. He'll do nicely.
Gleeson 6. Played his part, although still drifting all over the park at times.
Brown 6. Gradually finding his feet, but painfully slowly. Carden must replace him against Exeter.
Wolleaston 8. Full of energy, and scored what is becoming a signature spectacular goal. Touch of class.
Pitt 8. Teased and tormented Droylsden all night with his pace and skill, and produced a great cross for Rendell's second goal. Overindulged the showboating at times, but it's nice that we have a player even capable of doing so.
Reed 6. Filled in adequately centre and left without pulling up any trees. Can cross better than this.
McEvilly 8. Looking increasingly impressive, he has a strong, tough physical presence, decent pace and no little skill. Home debut goal, too. He's got the right stuff.
Rendell 9. First hat-trick, 22 for the season. Tremendous.
Convery 7. Took advantage of tiring opposition with some good runs like he did at Molineux.
Farrell 8. Couldn't have picked a better game in which to make his debut, but made an excellent first impression with positive, energetic forward runs, explosive shooting and simple, accurate passing. Very promising indeed.
Willmott 7. Typically exciting late cameo.
Match Summary
United at last got back to winning ways thanks to Scott Rendell's first hat-trick, some players' return to form and impressive showings from the three new boys. Oh, and the worst away side seen at the Abbey in living memory. As the old saying goes, they were lucky to get nil.
Man of the Match
Scott Rendell. The perfect hat-trick: left foot, header, right foot. The boy is a veritable goal machine.
Ref Watch
Hopkins 3. Not as catastrophically bad as on previous occasions, but with all the same old weaknesses: pompous and officious to a fault, woefully inconsistent, ignoring blatant fouls one minute, penalising the softest challenge the next, has a seemingly morbid fear of giving the attacking team any decision in the opposing penalty area while happy to whistle at almost every corner for a non-existent foul when the players go up for the ball. And he loves his long-winded chats with the players and his precious cards. Please leave us alone.
Non-League Player's Name of the Week
Warrington Town's Shane McWeeney.
Soundtrack of the Day
Radiohead 'Jigsaw Falling Into Place'
Andrew Bennett
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