Saturday 7th July 2007 - Mildenhall 0-3 U's: Once more unto the pitch, dear friends

O to be in England now the football is here again! The start of the round of pre-season friendlies came as a blessed relief after what has so far been a dismal excuse for a summer, with Wimbledon taking forty days and forty nights to get matches completed, several feet of rising damp in Yorkshire, and to cap it all, the ruddy Spice Girls coming back to plague us. I'd tell you what I really, really want, ladies, but this is a family website, after all...

So it was that ten weeks after the end of a tumultuous and traumatic 2006-07 season, a new-look U's side (or rather two new-look U's sides) lined up for their earliest ever pre-season warm-up at our old friends Mildenhall Town's homely Recreation Way. They've mucked about with the car parks since our last visit (a 3-0 win on 9th July 2005) but it remains otherwise unchanged, a welcoming clubhouse and seated and standing enclosures along one side of the still-sloping pitch with trees bounding the other three sides.

Familiar United faces a-plenty filed through the one turnstile as a brief shower gave way to cloud-dappled sunshine, some four hundred having foregone the televisual temptations of some predictable tennis or being hectored about climate change by Al Gore and Genesis (although not at the same time, I understand). Several were to be given an unpleasant surprise, however, when they leaned on the white barriers around the pitch only to find their flesh and clothing stained with sticky gloss paint. Maybe it was an initiation test for out-of-towners.

Mildenhall always provide a good programme and this year's was no exception, although it still stated boldly on the front 'SEASON 2006-07.' Schoolboy error. Its most arresting feature, however, was the quite extraordinary picture on page 21, which raised all manner of mind-boggling and unanswerable questions.

United lined up in JQ's favoured 3-5-2 formation with no fewer than seven players making their first team debuts. Dramatis personae were as follows:

In goal: Danny Potter, spiky-haired motormouth keeper signed from Stevenage.
Back Three: Josh Coulson, willowy, fresh-faced youth teamer awarded a professional contract at the end of last season; Mark Albrighton, frightening buzz-cutted veteran hatchet-man from Boston; and Gavin Hoyte, an absolute colossus of a defender from Bedford Town.
Midfield: Stephen Reed, bleach-barneted, fleet-footed wide-leftie from Torquay, plus the more familiar faces of Dan Gleeson, Michael Hyem, Danny Brown and Stephen Smith.
Up front: Scott Rendell, lanky, spindle-shanked target man captured from Crawley, and Jamie Brotherton, much smaller, nippy teenage trialist formerly with Palace and Worthing.

United played downhill for the first half against a home side which included ex-U's Matty Robinson and former youth teamer Aron Rutter. From the start they looked focussed, purposeful and organised despite only a couple of days' training, a pleasant change from the last few shambolic years of a revolving door of mysterious trialists. The back three looked assured, Brown and Smith pulled the strings in the middle behind the buzzing Hyem, and Reed made a particularly useful outlet out on the left wing, arrowing several tempting crosses towards the imposing lighthousesque figure of Rendell.

The visitors might have taken the lead within eight minutes as another Reed cross found Rendell's blond bullet head, but 'Hall keeper Josh Pope made a splendid block from the target man's goalbound nod then recovered quickly to palm away the striker's follow-up shot from close in for a corner. Reed's left foot looked sweeter than a bucket of candy floss covered in hundreds and thousands and he also took responsibility for curling in United's right-wing corners, Smith taking the left-handers.

One such Reed corner on 12 found Rendell's head again but he could only guide it over the top. United dominated proceedings with some nice build-up play but that final touch just evaded them for the time being; Hyem threaded a ball though to Brotherton on 20 but he trundled his shot wide of the far post, then another Reed flag-kick fell to Hoyte, whose prod had 'goal' written all over it until Andy Lodge on the line deflected it around the post with a smack to the thigh like a cricket bat on a side of beef.

Five minutes later Gleeson's perceptive low diagonal cross from the right was bundled home by Hyem with Brotherton in close attendance, but both men had broken fractionally too soon and the goal was disallowed for offside. Reed was proffered a chance to show his free-kick mettle ten minutes later when Gleeson was felled a few yards outside the box, but he lashed narrowly over the top right corner.

United continued to enjoy the bulk of possession against a decent 'Hall side but there was no further threat to the hosts' goal before the whistle brought a committed and entertaining first half to a close. So many pre-season friendlies turn out to be about as useful as putting a plait in your short and curlies, so it had been encouraging to see a team which had literally met just a few days previously knitting together so well so early. So far, so pretty good.

The patchy cloud continued to disperse and the sun got stronger, shining warmly for what seemed like the first time since mid-April. United's first-half team warmed down on the pitch while their second-half team warmed up alongside them.

Potter and Coulson were the only two to stay on, but the rest of the XI consisted of mostly familiar faces: Mark Peters and Michael Morrison joined Coulson at the back, and Rob Wolleaston, Darren Quinton and Jordan Collins were accompanied in the middle by Mark Convery, diminutive ball-stroker (they can't touch you for it) from York City playing in a central role, and Andy Hughes, former youth teamer who spent all last season injured, given another chance wide right.

Owing to United's chronic lack of strikers, Courtney Pitt played in the hole behind new signing Lee Boylan, neat little fox-in-the-box signed from Grays but best known for his prolific goalscoring exploits with Canvey Island. The only member of the squad who didn't participate, therefore, was Adam Davies, who attended as a spectator but was clearly not considered quite ready for a return to action after so long out injured.

This U's line-up took a little time to get going and Robinson blasted over with a hopeful long-ranger before Convery was caught in possession in the middle and Ben Cranfield advanced to slide a shot just wide from the edge of the box. United responded on 50 when Wolleaston sent Boylan away, losing his marker like an eel playing Twister, but his shot was deflected just wide of the near post.

But the foxy newcomer was not to be denied for long. On 54 Wolleaston fed Collins wide left and his whipped cross was met by a diving Boylan, who flung his 5'6" frame forward and arrowed a diving header low into the right-hand corner of the net. 1-0.

In the United goal Potter had had precious little to do but he proved he was ready, willing and able five minutes later when Flack skipped through the U's back line and his rising shot was acrobatically tipped over the bar by the diving custodian. Goalmouth action was as rare as a patch of dry grass at Glastonbury for the next quarter of an hour as the hosts made a few changes and Reed was reintroduced by United at centre-back in place of Coulson on 73.

When Boylan got the ball, however, he always looked dangerous. He had a shot blocked on 75, then drove another effort narrowly wide, while Quinton almost notched spectacularly on 79 with a curler from the edge of the area, just over. That was followed by a barnstorming Wolleaston run into the box, playing a one-two with Boylan then lashing into the side netting when it looked easier to score.

Potter made another good, low save from Cranfield with five minutes to go, although the 'Hall man will know he should have scored from less than ten yards out, and, as is the way of things, United went up the other end and doubled their lead, Hughes' low cross finding Boylan loitering with intent unmarked and ramming home for 2-0.

A minute later the U's finished the tiring hosts off as Boylan set up Hughes to curl neatly home with his left foot into the far corner from fifteen yards. 3-0. Not long after it was all over. Every journey starts with a single step, as I think Mr Miyagi once said. This was a firm and confident first step. Looking forward to the next one already!

Player Ratings
Potter 7. Vocal, confident and a couple of good saves when required on an otherwise quiet debut.
Coulson 7. Good, solid effort from the youngster.
Albrighton 7. Conserved his energy but a fine, steadying presence.
Hoyte 7. Towering presence who promises much.
Gleeson 7. Quite restrained by his standards, feeling his way into the season.
Hyem 7. Energetic and enthusiastic livewire.
Brown 8. A true leader, his influence was everywhere.
Smith 7. Steady as he goes.
Reed 8. Impressive left foot. Would be nice to see him get to the byline sometimes instead of always crossing from deep, but a quality debut.
Brotherton 7. Rookie did reasonably well and showed a few good touches.
Rendell 8. Splendid first impression, big, strong and an eye for goal. We might have our Robbie replacement.

Peters 7. A bit ring-rusty but that will soon pass.
Morrison 7. Decent first runout.
Hughes 7. Got better as the game wore on and did his prospects no harm with a neat goal.
Quinton 7. Bright start to the season.
Convery 7. Caught in possession a few times early on, but quality began to show later on.
Wolleaston 8. Another who started slow and finished fast.
Collins 7. Solidly unspectacular wide left.
Pitt 7. Not playing his best position but made a decent fist of it with some intelligent and energetic running.
Boylan 9. Fantastic start for the goal machine.

Match Summary
And they're off! There was no early stumble from United as they started the season at a canter with a disciplined and professional victory. At this rate they'll hit the first fence in August at full gallop. Giddy up!

Man of the Match
Lee Boylan. Goal poacher supreme.

Ref Watch
Long 7. Could have refereed this one in his sleep, and for all we know, he did.

Soundtrack of the Day
Sonny Jim 'Can't Stop Moving'

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Andrew Bennett

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